Dr. Oz Hopes to Replace Rand Paul as Biggest Quack in Senate

  
Via:  al Jizzerror  •  2 months ago  •  13 comments

By:   Andy Borowitz

Dr. Oz Hopes to Replace Rand Paul as Biggest Quack in Senate
Dr. Mehmet Oz said that he hopes to oust Rand Paul as the biggest quack in the United States Senate.

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Dr. Oz Hopes to Replace Rand Paul as Biggest Quack in Senate





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December 1, 2021

PENNSYLVANIA ( The Borowitz Report )—Explaining his decision to enter the political sphere, Dr. Mehmet Oz said that he hopes to oust Rand Paul as the biggest quack in the United States Senate.

Oz said that Paul, a former ophthalmologist, has shown an impressive obliviousness about medicine while serving in Washington, but added, “I think I can out-quack him.”

“In the many times he’s grilled Dr. Fauci, has he ever asked him about the health benefits of magic coffee beans or umckaloabo-root extract?” Oz said. “I think America deserves a senator who will ask those tough questions.”

Paul, speaking to reporters, seemed unfazed by Oz’s determination to supplant him as the Senate’s top quack.

“I respect Dr. Oz as a fellow-charlatan, and the competition can only light a fire under me to become a bigger charlatan myself,” he said. “But if, in the end, he winds up besting me, I’ve had a good run.







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al Jizzerror
Sophomore Expert
1  seeder  al Jizzerror    2 months ago

A couple of years ago, Before the pandemic, friend told me she ordered some of magic coffee beans Dr. Oz was selling on TV.  She said she will lose at least 10 lbs. a week.  She said all she has to do is drink the "green" coffee.  She said Dr. Oz says there is no dieting nor any exercise necessary.  Just drink coffee and the weight will literally "fall off". 

I saw her the other day and, since Dr. Oz is in the news, I asked her if the coffee worked (she appeared to have gained weight).  She said, "How the fuck would I know?"  She told me she never received her coffee, which cost her around $200.  She said she waited the six to eight weeks and didn't get the coffee.  She notified the company via email and received no reply.  She tried to call the company but they never even bothered to answer their phone.  So she attempted to contact Dr Oz.  She received a form letter that stated "Dr. Oz is a paid spokesperson for the company butt he has no other connection to the company.  Then she did some online research and every source said the magic coffee beans were a scam and Dr. Oz is a "quack".

I am convinced that Dr. Oz is perfect for the Republican Party.  Dr. Oz, like Donald Trump, is a fraud.  

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2  Kavika     2 months ago

Dr. Oz another grifter, seems that it's the ''thing'' with some of the righties.

Gotta love Borowitz.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3  Tessylo    2 months ago

How did a cardio thoracic surgeon become such a quack/fraud/grifter?

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
3.1  Split Personality  replied to  Tessylo @3    2 months ago

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

from the sponsors of his need to stroke his own ego on tv

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
5.1  Split Personality  replied to  Split Personality @5    2 months ago
The size of the supplement industry, where 95% of his health recommendations come from, is worth roughly $36.7 billion. That can be a lot of reasons to close your eyes to the evidence.

The good doctor has even admitted that he 'puts on a show' to make the segments interesting.

Not the words you want to hear from someone you are entrusting your life to.

Sounds remarkably similar to Tucker Carlson admitting he lies for entertainment purposes.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Sophomore Expert
5.1.1  seeder  al Jizzerror  replied to  Split Personality @5.1    2 months ago

Wait....

Are you saying the Wizard of Oz is a "reality show celebrity".  He's a grifter?  He lies?  He's a quack?  Yes he is.  Butt, more importantly, he's a Trumpanzee.

Oz is definitely channelling Trump.  Dr.Oz is probably sucking on a mushroom in Florida (and thinking up a way to market celebrity semen).

So. the Wizard of Oz is the ideal Retrumplican candidate for the US Senate.  Pay no attention to the orange haired clown behind the curtain.

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
7  TᵢG    2 months ago

Rand Paul has demonstrated a profound level of assholeishness.  

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Oz could easily out quack Paul, but I doubt he will match his caliber of asshole.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
7.1  Kavika   replied to  TᵢG @7    2 months ago

That is perfect, TG

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Sophomore Expert
7.2  seeder  al Jizzerror  replied to  TᵢG @7    2 months ago

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Split Personality
PhD Principal
 

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