MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)

End of life sadness

By:  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  •  Personal  •  last year  •  10 comments

End of life sadness
Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows. Pope Paul VI

Yes, she is 96. Yes, she lost her husband a little over 3 years ago. My neighbors Bob and Donna became family. I've been helping Donna's daughter with some of the stuff most people struggle with doing. The end of life stuff is sad. And I don't care what anyone else believes, I believe that she'll soon be with her love again. I love their story.

They lived across the street from each other growing up; they've known each other since middle school. She told me that through high school, despite knowing that he'd be hers one day, she had to leave him be until he graduated because, and I quote, "He was a jock and he dated a lot. But after he graduated, I knew he would be mine." Six months after he graduated, he went to fight in WWII. Shortly after he returned, they were married. They were married for more than 75 years. They had children. Bob worked for a few local companies. Then, he was a baseball player. He played for a few minor league teams, but he got his big break when he became the left-handed closing pitcher for the Yankees from 51-54. He was able to do what he loved and still live a normal life in the off-season.


Donna is a tough woman. She's always sweet to me, but I certainly see that fire that most certainly could burn you if you cross her in any way, shape or form. One of the things I will remember about her is that she loves a good t-bone steak with sides of baked potato (loaded of course) and asparagus. Steak needs to be cooked medium to medium rare; warm, pink center but not still bleeding. jrSmiley_101_smiley_image.gif The last time I made steaks, I offered to make her a t-bone. I got a text from her daughter later indicating that she loved it. She then had a brownie that my daughter had made for dessert. She may be a tiny lady in her 90s, but she could eat a good, solid meal. The last time she fell, I talked to her later and asked, "No broken bones?" She said, "Nope!" I said that she must drink her milk and she said, "Every day! And not that 2% crap, vitamin D whole milk!" 

I'm glad that I can help, even when it's tough to see her like she is right now. My daughter helped us this morning with some stuff and I think it shocked her to see someone like that, but I'm glad she witnessed it; I'm proud of her though, she maintained composure until we got back to our house. See... I know Donna misses Bob, she's said so. She told me some time ago that she's just waiting to die. It broke my heart. I will miss Donna as I've missed Bob. They're good people. I also hope that the family stays in contact, because we care for them a great deal too. I'm sure I can count on maintaining a friendship with her daughter; I'm friends with her on FB... I even invited her here. jrSmiley_2_smiley_image.png


My neighbor went "home" this past Saturday. She's no longer in pain and she has returned to be with her love.

As a side note, her daughter that we were helping out, she decided to buy out her siblings and live in the house! That makes me happy to know that she's staying.


jrBlog - desc
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
Sophomore Principal
1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)    last year

It's hard to see someone you care about in their last days.

Release The Kraken
PhD Principal
1.1  Release The Kraken  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1    last year

As tough as it is, it's also rewarding to offer comfort during someone's last days.

MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
Sophomore Principal
1.1.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Release The Kraken @1.1    last year

Agreed. Right now though... she's on morphine and Ativan. She's not conscious. But I spoke to her last night and I'm glad I got to do that.

Release The Kraken
PhD Principal
1.1.2  Release The Kraken  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1.1.1    last year

I had a dear friend of mine that died of liver cancer. He was 25 years older than I. He had a long history of drug abuse throughout his life and refused to take anything in the last weeks of his life. His wife called me to help, he could do nothing but scream in pain but refused to take anything for the pain. I held him down and lifted his shirt and slapped the fentanyl patch on him. It became a daily occurrence so every day on my lunch hour I drove to his house to help his wife. It was just awful but he needed the relief.

On one hand i felt awful for it but on another hand it had to be done.

Professor Principal
1.1.3  Kathleen  replied to  Release The Kraken @1.1.2    last year

That was a nice thing you did for him and his family.  

Professor Principal
1.2  Kathleen  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1    last year

It sure is, but the love you gave her means so much.  It's nice to hear that there are people in the world that still care.

Professor Principal
2  JBB    last year

"Autumn Leaves"  by Johnny Mercer 

"The falling leaves
drift past the window
The autumn leaves
of red and gold

I see your lips
the summer kisses
The sunburned hands
I used to hold

Since you went away 
the days grow long
And soon I'll hear 
old winter's song

But I miss you most 
of all my darling
When autumn leaves 
start to fall"...

Sophomore Silent
3  JaneDoe    last year

Such a beautiful love story. I hope they meet again too! 
You are a good friend, the keeper of the memories.

Professor Principal
4  CB     last year

I can empathize with the passage of time. The outsiders looking in most remember that some of us mortals live well pass our 'lot' in life and our hearts ache to be recollected with those who were near and dear to us in time. Old friends and school chumps form 'perfect' memories that last all our days.

JBB, your poem expresses my thoughts on this 'perfectly.' We are tied to our 'lot' in life and we long to be counted in it with all the others we have enjoyed throughout.

MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
Sophomore Principal
5  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)    last year

Thanks for your kind comments all. I'm out for the weekend. Hope everyone enjoys their extended weekend!