AI is coming to replace dogs now as well as humans
By: Drew Curtis (Odd News via MSN)
ChatGPT's pet dog Sparky?
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Boston Dynamics and Ghost Robotics, two companies whose names sound like front organizations in a Black Mirror episode you’d rage quit for being too on-the-nose, are actively marketing robot quadruped dogs specifically to patrol the perimeters of AI data centers. Apparently we’ve decided artificial intelligence deserves round-the-clock armed robots for “security,” at least that’s what they’re calling it.
“We’ve seen a huge, huge uptick in interest from data centers,” said Merry Frayne, senior director of product management at Boston Dynamics, using the word “huge” twice in a way that should concern everyone. Frayne was literally at a data center this week, which is the kind of detail you include when you want the record to show you were already at the scene right before the murders began
A human security guard costs roughly $150,000 a year and occasionally requires food, sleep, and smoking breaks, three weaknesses that Ghost Robotics’ Vision 60 does not share. For a one-time cost of $165,000, the robot pays for itself in about a year, assuming you don’t factor in the eventual cost of negotiating with it to spare your life once it achieves sentience.
“Instead of having two guards at $300,000, you can have one guard and a robot,” said Michael Subhan, Ghost Robotics’ chief growth officer, describing what could also be the pitch for a buddy cop movie where one of the two inevitably gets written off the show. “The robot obviously doesn’t get sick or go on vacation.” It also doesn’t unionize, file complaints, or experience moral doubt when ordered to chase a whistleblower across a server farm, though Subhan did not mention any of those advantages specifically.
The robots themselves are about the size of a large dog, which is the kind of detail designed to make you feel better until you remember that a large dog made of titanium and thermal sensors patrolling a razor-wire fence at 3 a.m. is not comforting by any historical or emotional standard.
North America currently has 35 gigawatts of data center capacity under construction across thousands of facilities, each spanning dozens of acres of humming servers that need protecting from threats, including weather, intruders, and the growing statistical likelihood that someone will eventually have to attempt to unplug the whole goddamn thing before it kills us all.
No one involved in the deployment has used the word “Skynet” yet, although the omission feels deliberate.
Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
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