Funny Marriage Jokes
Marriage Countdown
(10) He said .. . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear briefs, don't you?
(9) She said . . . What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said . . . It's not my fault - I ran out of money.
(8) He said . . . Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make
love to you in the worst way. She said . . . Well, you succeeded.
(7) He said . . . 'Two inches more, and I would be king! She said
'Two inches less, you'd be queen
(6) On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere."
Written just below it: "I do not."
(5) He said . . . "Shall we try a different position tonight?" She said . . . "That's a good idea - --you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and drink beer."
(4) Priest said . . . 'I don' t think you will ever find another man
like your late husband. She said . . . 'Who's gonna look?
(3) He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery
money I gave you? She said . . . Turn sideways and look in the
mirror.
(2) He said . . . Let's go out and have some fun tonight. She said .
Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
And the number (1)
He said . . . Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . . I would, but you said not to call you at work.
******************************
And a little off topic of marriage....
Subject: Doctor Feelgood
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.
The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism
went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.
After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.
Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she replied, "You're checking for any abrasions or
dermatological abnormalities."
"That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.
"Yes," the woman said. "You're checking for any lumps or breast
cancer."
"Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient
and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you
know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes, which is why I came here in
the first place."
The administrator of this group reserves the right, along with the site moderators, to moderate all and any postings to this group, including the right to enforce the ToS, the CoC, and also including anything that the administrator deems within his sole discretion to be offensive, including and not limited to off topic comments, with the power to delete in exercising those rights.
It would be best, therefore, to be civil in posting on this group.
By now it should be well known that I am unable to open certain sources, videos and pictures. If I cannot, I will ask that they be described and explained. If the poster refuses to comply, their comment will be deleted. Instagrams are banned.
Tags
Who is online
32 visitors
My 91 year old brother who lost his wife about 5 years ago to cancer must be getting his kicks from these jokes. This is the second one of its kind in a row that he has emailed to me.
I have seen you post some of your brothers' jokes in the past.
I have forwarded them to friends-- your brothers' sense of humour is amazing!
P.S: This is me, Krishna. "Michael C." is a very old account.
Every day when I log on to NT there's a guessing game-- which account will NT show up as mine today?-- Krishna or Michael C. It seems to alternate every day or so.
I wish I could permanently delete the "Michael C." acct and have only the real (Krishna) acct show up, but not having used NT for a while I forget how to use all the features. And I have a lot of other things to do (involving work for example, which potentially involves the gain or loss of large sums of money)-- so I don't have the patience to try and figure out how to have NT delete my "Michael C." permanently without losing access totally.
Actually I think that most of them are forwarded to him by his friends.
Has the Resident Advisor not been able to straighten that out? As far as I'm concerned, to borrow a phrase, 'A Krishna by any other name is still a Krishna.'