OKAY: The POLICE TALk
TODAY, as I departed from my local area Circle K convenience store, something quite interesting and unique occurred. Parked next to my car in the lot was a police SUV and coming around from the driver side was this camo-apparreled young officer who (actually) nodded to me first as he moved on by to enter the store.
This store, I have observed is a 'regular' for some of our police officers . This is NOT the first time I have observed police SUVs coming and going literally for treats at this rather ordinary store. Anyway, back to my narrative:
When the officer turned left in front of his car to face me he nodded his head, as is my norm, I non-aggressively replied in my most ferocious Wendy Williams imitation voice: "How you doin'?"
I'm kidding. I say, "Hello." As he brushed by on his way into the store.
As I placed my items in the car and adjusted myself behind the wheel, this officer was in police lingo: "—exiting the premises." He paused standing on the storefront landing at the front of his SUV. I started backing out. Looking back and then to the front again: Something strange happened:
First, it being a beautiful sunshiny day and not a cloud in the sky 70'ish temperature. The lighting all around—PERFECTO.
Second, this officer is a young tanned white man wearing as I stated before camo' pants and lace-up boots and as my eyes came up (straightening up from backing out) his form-a short cut t-shirt with arm muscles (for days) expressed and impressive.
Third, his hair was short coiffed and curly. And I am thinking besides the police-markings on the car-where is the indicator this man is a 'cop'?
Then, my eyes trailed down his right side and that's when I saw his gun-holstered and laced to his right leg. Oh yeah, I forgot something. He was sipping a fountain drink. . . through a straw.
Which may explain why he paused to collect himself without 'rushin' to get back into his vehicle.
Whoa.
I turn left away to head out. And now I am thinking. The police in my town do not disturb or annoy me. They are pervasive everywhere, but I can only remember a few times in x-x years here of actually talking to one or more of our authority figures.
Never has an officer parked next to me (it's a first!) - at Circle K I take the only place available next to an officer's vehicle in turn. Officers never speaks first. Though, they do 'verbalize' if you greet them.
Officer "Stud-muffin" is hanging out in the warm sunshine sipping on a cold drink: Just "chillin.'
I remember reality: This officer is a city official. One tasked with the unenviable task of being among the people, mixing inside them, but with endowed capability to question, detain, and go even farther in carrying out his authority. He is not now, or ever, a friend to the public—despite the disarming isolation on the storefront.
As an officer, s/he is trained to look, listen, and be attuned to any violation or "breakage" of the law - to which s/he must take action immediately.
An officer of the law is not a friend. How, can it be? When at any instance in "small-chat" an officer may have to shuck his smile, his sipping, and tackle or destroy the person with whom they are conversing?
All of the above leads me to ask a question:
How do and can police officers relax in the community they serve, when he or she
never knows who, whom, what, or where with the public?
A police-person on duty must be a truly lonely person. And, truly misunderstood!
Some of you on NT have given reason to suspect you were at one time or another members of the 'blue,' or friends of the 'blue.'
Some insight or insights plural into the men and women of the 'blue' beyond headlines would be nice. My mind 'today' is clear and open to understand.
When is the last time you ACTUALLY sat down and had a coffee and a chat with an 'authority figure' in law enforcement? How did or could it make you feel? Did you pull it 'off'?
Are police officers really disillusioned or 'sad' over being otherized 'aliens' in uniform?
For the first time today, I literally felt a minute bit of the angst that a police officer 'traffics' in!
Sometimes one of the towns around here will have "Coffee with a Cop Day" If I wasn't always going to work and they did it in my town I would do it. Then have a pleasant conversation about why my spouse gets profiled all the time
I used to play poker with a bunch of cops and I robbed them once a month for years. they thought they were smarter than anyone that wasn't a cop and were conditioned to judge lie vs truth based on eye contact and/or body language. as a sales professional, I knew that, set them up, and hustled them every time.
That's good and funny-serious! (They would probably take down his name and go look him up in their records. See what they can find out: Is that a good thing?!!)
That oddly sounds like a lot of fun. Police officer friends. Can go any number of ways. I've never had a police officer friend. Tell me with all the television 'cop' shows over the decades-how did you ever feel forthright to 'loot' a room full of dudes with guns and proper licenses to use them?!
With my spouse...probably not.
'Mr Giggles'? HA!
There's been....incidents....
When I managed a gun range, we were a main training facility for LEO's from many different agencies. I had a chance to speak with many of them one on one. Oh sure, a few of them were jerks, but overall I found them to be caring, funny, and people oriented officers. I got the chance to ask them questions about things I had always wondered about in regards to their jobs and it proved to be quite educational.
Your range was an important part of their world. Thus, at that time, you were the "in-crowd." Officers can open up to you and vice-versa. Now even? Thinking of the officer in my scenario above, who spoke to me first and wanted nothing more has 'triggered' all sorts of emotions and dynamic interests in me. I am actually thinking of what Shona1 and discussed below and wondering if dropping off several (moderate) gift cards at the local police station is 'do-able,' safe, and appreciable by all?
I reckon you can't just give an individual officer (on patrol) a gift card no matter its nomination?
They are not supposed to accept gratuities but maybe a donation in their name(s) to one of their charities like PAL.
Now that is interesting. We get those fundraising calls all the time from PAL (Police Activity League) and my Xfinity service ids them as (Spam? xxx xxx xxxx). I have one serious reservation about PAL: non-stop reaching out. We are inundated with non-profits calls and mailings every day. I would like to involve myself with PAL but not any 'escalation' since I am trying to discipline many non-profits to remove us from their data bases.
I will see what I can do. May be we have a local PAL chapter or something and I can drop some funds off?
Psst: thank you for validating PAL indirectly, nevertheless.
One thing here PAL does is sports. They are always in need of equipment.
Again, good information to know! Thank you. I will take their call and hear it out next time. Or, if the time permits and if they have a website visit it.
Actually it was about a week ago. One of local Cochise County Sheriff's deputies is a good friend. My late son and him pretty much grew up together and he was a frequent guest in our house as a teenager. The majority of the local police department are home grown and live in our small community and are very easy to talk to her.
Morning Ed...yes it is much the same in my town. Most of the cops here have come from Melbourne and some have come back to live in their home town again.. local knowledge goes along way here.
And they do have a sense of humour. Got pulled up for a breatherlyser one night. I had my Scotch Collie in the back seat with her head out the window.
The copper unwrapped the tube put it in the machine and before he could give it to me Bonnie leant out and gave it a good sniff.
Everyone just stopped and you could hear a pin drop and the other cops just stared...I thought oh crap!!
With out a blink of an eye the copper just said. Oh I think we will put that one in the bin we don't want dog breath on that..we all just cracked up laughing...I always wish them a good evening/day and they say the same..
Is a law enforcement officer out of uniform any more free to be a true/er/est friend than when in uniform? What are the rules to this 'game'? Do we owe it to ourselves to know the 'rules' of being able to 'fraternize' with our brothers, sisters, and would-could be lovers in 'blue'?
The top 10 things one should NOT say or do to a law enforcement officer?! Go:
The top 10 things one SHOULD say or do for or to a law enforcement officer?! Go:
What not to do
1) Be a smartass
2) Lie
3) Be belligerant
What to do
1) Smile
2) Be friendly but professional
3) Be honest (Do you know fast you were going? Me: 85? Cop: I clocked you at 82 but thanks for your honesty. Me: Doh!)
4) Do what you're told
5) keep your hands on steering wheel until asked for something
I have had experience with being pulled over...
Another on the list of what not to do that might fall under one of yours. Don't act like a lawyer unless you are a lawyer. The cop probably has a better handle on the law than anyone with a law degree from the university of Google.
Yes, absolutely. Good add to the list
Also, while not at all required it is a good idea to tell a cop that stops you if you have a licensed gun in the car. They appreciate it and it will help avoid any misunderstandings later. And if they ask, don't lie about it or tell them that you don't have to tell them. No good will come from that.
bullshit. you're not required to answer any questions. they have to give you a reason for being stopped and all you have to produce is identification and/or registration and proof of insurance. if they have something on you, they can issue a ticket or arrest you for a crime of which they suspect you committed. anything more you say to them, will be used by them, to further incriminate you.
Real good.
Good. I'd bet an officer is on a tight time-line anyway and simply doesn't have time for 'lawyerly' talk from novice. And though I don't believe officers know law, I do believe that at least they should know rules of traffic stop! 'Work smarter-not harder': citizens make it so much harder on themselves when they "loose their s**t on police officers most of whom want to go home at the end of a highly probable "bull patty day"!
Ah, the google lawyer has spoken. Did you notice where I said it is not required? I got that suggestion from an NRA safety gun instructor during a class I had to take to get a permit so forgive me if I listen to him and not to you. If you want to lie or act like an asshole feel free, good luck to you.
Never say "do you know who I am" or "I pay your salary".
so people that know theirs rights are assholes? why would anyone yield their constitutional rights just because some guy that asks them to happens to have a badge and gun? have I exposed a gray area in the right wing version of free dumb?
This gets a LOT of people into trouble that I observe in post-videos of stops. They seem to resent the 'experience' of a stop, or is it repeat stops? I don't know. So it becomes a 'tug of war' and gritting of teeth experience from the moment a driver is asked to leave the flow of traffic.
That said, how does one deal with the LEGAL STUFF happening in a car (smoking a cig, drinking a beverage, music playing, people chatting, etceteras) that annoys an officer in the performance of his or her duties?
Have I told you lately that I love you?
I live in a state where firearm registration is not required , nor is a concealed permit , SO LEO usually automatically assume there is a firearm other than theirs present , it likely dictates how they initially approach a stop or situation until it is known for sure .
If one follows trouts advice , and is up front things usually settle down quicklyand things go on as they should , barring some unforeseen situation .
Well, Valentine Day was recent.
I live in a state that requires an 8 hour class with an NRA certified instructor (including range shooting) in order to get a permit that is good for conceal and open carry. Interesting that we are not required to inform even when asked but the instructor made it very clear it is always a good idea to keep your hands on the wheel and inform them if there is a gun in the car. Taking away the chance of a misunderstanding is very important in making the stop as smooth as possible.
Sounds like you have issues with the police.
Are you a Sovcit or a Frauditor?
Sovereign Citizen Movement (type) or First Amendment defender (type). Did I get that right? If I am wrong or partially right let me know. Friend Greg, you have to put our (all) minds in the proper frame to understand and keep up.
put out the cig but in an ashtray not throw it out the window
put the drink down
turn down the volume
tell the people in the car to shut the hell up
ISSUES RESOLVED.
Or if your my daughter, when the officer tells you that you were clocked going 93, you don't correct him by saying "No officer, I remember looking at the speedometer, and I was only going 87.
HA! 93?!!! Whatever for? (Don't answer that!)
I just can't lie to a cop. But I would probably say something snarky like "wow I bet those hamsters are starving"
I actually hit 105 once, going down 10.
In a corvette? (What? Why?) Forgive me, but what was happening with you that day?
I use to travel to Alabama and Louisiana for the auto auctions, was always on the interstate. One time I was going 95 and was passed.
What?! What?!! I would have loved to have seem that-from a curb, nevertheless! It must have felt surreal. (Chuckles.)
I believe that it's difficult for a cop to associate with noncops on a personal level. When on duty I suppose that they have to keep a certain distance from the noncops.
They are in a profession that lends itself to be closed to outsiders for a number of reasons.
JMO
It's sad, isn't it? I mean I don't really know. (I don't have friends who are police officers. One uncle but that was a long time ago, an he transitioned out of this life.) I wonder how the 'badge' works after-hours? I reckon there is some kind of median conduct 'zone'.
Is an active duty policeman in that sense ever truly off-duty? (I have never thought about it before.)
My son in law is a cop in a small city of about 175,000. When in a social situation he is just like anyone else except he is always more observant of what is going on around him. It is all part of his training to be observant and it is not something he can turn off when the uniform comes off.
He works the night shift and quite honestly no one should have to witness some of the things he has. It does make him appreciate the little things in life though. It is obvious every time we see them, and I doubt it is just because we are visiting.
It takes a special person to be a cop, especially in today's atmosphere. It also takes a special person to be the spouse of a cop.
Not really since they can be on call 24/7.
factor into it that they are privy to information that the general public is not , it could be due to ongoing investigations they have info on .
I have had that happen here .
Wow. The stress level that generates. I know that it is bearable (we don't see officers collapsing under the strain everywhere), but how is it bearable? Officers must have experiences which lead them to 'question everybody' in the room!
The more I hear and think about this, the more 'impossible' and detached from the public LEOs appear to be of necessity. Is any of this fixable? These are 'our' children, family, and could be great friends and we should care about them more than when we are worried, in fear, angry, or in trouble. (I mean we have some good sharings here on the blog for possible means to connect or reconnect police and civilians to a shared humanity and 'civility.')
How to talk and be around a Law Enforcement Officer without feeling (knowing?) that your every (unguarded) word or move is being scrutinized?
Mark! I feel like I have opened up the proverbial Pandora's box!
That actually goes with the territory of being an LEO, because they are so often going into situations with minimal information and are somewhat blind to whats happening because of the lack of information
And thats what they should be trying to do get the information to sort things out to take the correct course of action .
many people dont see that or take it into consideration .
Maybe you have , who knows but it is something that should be discussed .
I can only speak to personal experience .
I was military police for 10 years until my hearing was shot by their standards , granted that is a very controlled environment , When i got out , i transitioned to civilian LEO for about 3 years , and it was an entirely different animal even in very rural areas .
I am well past the usual retirement age by about 2-4 years , and can say if it were offered and i was a lot younger, i would never put on the uniform again knowing what i do . and i am only 60 .
Instead i joined the "dark side " and became a truck driver .
I appreciate your being here and sharing experiences and reflections too! I am sure others do as well! We need to do all we can to take the mystery out of this topic and set of issues! It is clear from your last reflection above, and several reflections that come to my mind, this won't be easy. But, by golly we can make 'hay' while its 'daylight'!
I was an Auxiliary/Part time Deputy Sheriff ending about 30 years ago. It was much different and better back then and I would not do it now. I enjoyed it and learned a lot. I had a full time job and this was for events and when they needed more help. Deputies were much friendlier and got more respect then and were more a part of the community and most people knew the lawmen. This was in a rural area.
Thank you for sharing. Share what you can. We need to try to understand as best we can why its so hard for officers and civilians to 'get together' in tandem. It's like police have to leave us (cease being us) to protect and serve.
If you are in a convenience store with an officer you don't know, remember, they like social distance before it was a big thing. You won't know what they were doing before taking a break. A friendly good morning officer and stay safe is usually appreciated. Part of the job is presenting a professional image.
Words to live by. Thank you.
When you have the uniform on, you have a different attitude, and you are on display, you know people are watching you. There is a standard that you have to uphold and officer safety has been drilled into you.
You also know other officers may be watching you or somebody that knows the Sheriff or Chief
Now that you mention it,. . . it seems way more a 'way of life' than being a member of the armed forces! This goes a long way to helping the public understand: the truth, the danger, and the 'why for'!
Anoon CB..have the greatest respect for the Cops, Ambos and Firies here..
Yes as always you get your rotten apples but they are way in the minority...
Probably the only dealings I have had with the cops is the feral across the road who blasts out the neighbourhood at night..
Give the cops a ring and one cop said have they just got a fresh shipment in referring to drugs and now off their face!!...I just about fell out of bed laughing...
I have been waiting for a chance if I see any of our emergency services people getting a coffee or lunch. Will jump in and pay for them...it happens quite often in my town....
That's quite an interesting thought. It just might work. I guess that can get a bit 'antsy' with police officers, huh? They might ask who paid for them? Hmm.
Most people just jump in when they are about to pay and they really appreciate it...
Sometimes they know who paid and other times it is done anonymously....they are probably not as suspicious here about people paying for them...
That's interesting. Different perspective on an age old problem! Thanks for the idea. Going to be nervous at first and feeling exposed.
Nah give it a fling... quite often people here go to Macca's (McDonald's) drive thru and pay it forward...they pay for the order behind them what ever the people ordered...
A lot of that has been going on here...a simple thing to do but can mean a lot to someone if they are having a crap day..
Especially with all the COVID crud that is going on. Just puts a smile on someone's face...
It goes on here too! Usually bridge toll is paid for the car behind. . . . Can't do that now because of covid and toll 'invoicing.' I have not participated yet in paying at the register for someone. . . it's time I do. (Smile.)
I paid for a pensioners meal once...was by himself and he had this feeling of over whelming sadness about him. Maybe he had just lost his wife..
Paid for my meal and asked about his..paid extra incase he wanted dessert after...said if there was any money left over give it to him...
I hope I brightened his day a little...
That's really nice. Because some times I wonder about the 'extra' money - what to do? What's too much? What's waste? Good thoughts all!
Note: My community, city manager's office, has asked the community to back off helping (giving at will) to our chronic homeless, as they are provided for by city teams quite well it turns out. . . so this can be a good alternative 'network' way of sharing. We're told we are exacerbating our trash problem with the homeless who take but don't 'help' with their surroundings.
Is it generally understood that policing can be better for everybody in smaller cities and towns? I ask because I see the 'horrors' in some larger cities and metropolises-but, I am a black person who have twice had police persons- man and female as a single and alone officer in my home to look at security footage a while back and neither gave me an impression they feared my every move. Surprising to me, the officer did not seem disturbed about where I stood in relation to him or her front or back. (My overall assessment: Our police are 'cool' like that.)
This is good. There are some things citizens of color can do to make this better. Ease some of the tension; 'arrest' some of the distrust and/or hate. . . .
From little things big things grow...
We have a lot of observation days on the yearly calendar. Here is a proposal:
National Peace Officer Holiday
Peace Officer Observance Day
Can it 'hearten' police officers across the board to know that the public appreciates and cares?
We already do that here..called Police Blue Ribbon day...
It's to thank them, remember the ones lost in the line of duty and fund raise for charity at the same time..
Our rescue helicopter is named after a fallen officer...his name was selected at random...
Ahh. That's nice.
In retail, most clerks and managers can tell their best, worst, and 'must be a full moon' days for business during the week. Wonder what could be best, worst, 'must be a full moon' days of the week for police officers (and how to avoid being 'that worst or 'moonie' guy or gal")?
It's been a great opening discussion. We should do more of these. We have to, we simply have to, get back to some sense of an even keel with our officer-citizens. Let's talk about ways to heal this sorely festering rift between law enforcement and citizenry, again and again.