My cat is watching me write this, and frankly, I don't care what he thinks so watch away, my feline friend, because I think you're a Republican and I'm going to out you.
Fig. 1. Geoffrey the Cat reaps the benefit of my hard work disproportionally to his contribution while sleeping on my work-pants.
Follow me over the divider-doodle for some reasons why my cat is a GOP mooch...
1. My Cat's Number One Priority is His Own Needs.
Geoffrey has a routine. As cats go, and I have had many, he's the most routine-driven feline I have ever met. He's deeply conservative that way. If I'm not up by 7am, he sees to it that I am and then flumpity flump down the stairs to the door. Out he goes just long enough for me to freshen his food and water, which I have paid for. He doesn't care if I have to pee first, or forgot to put out the garbage on garbage day, he has his routine and nobody is going to change it . The next thing he does is come in and eat that food, that FREE food, and he's smug and entitled when he does it. He then makes a commentary on his human companion:
Fig. 2. After consuming his food with an attitude of smug entitlement, he sends a message to the 99%.
2. My Cat is a Racist.
Geoffrey is an unapologetic racist. Like the GOP with banksters and corporate types, he cozies up to people, even new people, because they keep the slush fund of food, water, litter and catnip flowing like the Mighty Mississippi. But as far as other animals are concerned, if you're another animal and you're not a ragdoll cat like he is, he'll deliver an angry screed and may attack you. I have never seen such rank racism, or at least not since the last time Rand Paul gave a speech.
Fig. 3. The ugly face of ragdoll supremacy.
3. My Cat is a Sadistic Authoritarian .
Geoffrey believes in the death penalty for vermin, but he's not content to use some supposedly humane form of execution, oh no. He is both a practitioner and advocate of torture of the most ugly sort and expects--no, demands approval and support for that by bringing these poor creatures into the house half dead. If he were a member of Congress, he'd perform an execution live on C-SPAN just to make a point.
4. My Cat is a Lazy Bum.
Not only does Geoffrey enjoy an exalted position in the household, he feels entitled to more vacation than he has earned, very much like a Republican politician.
Fig. 4. The Republican cat's natural state of being.
5. My Cat is a Conspiracy Theorist
In the 1960s, a regular non-pedigreed white domestic longhaired cat named Josephine, who had produced several litters of typical cats, was injured in an accident involving a car and taken to the veterinary hospital at the University of California. Josephine was of a Persian/Angora type and had litters sired by several unknown male Birman or Burmese-like cats, one of which had the Siamese point coloration. Baker believed that Josephine was subject to a secret government genetic experiment during treatment at the lab, and claimed that it made Josephine docile, relaxed when picked up, and immune to pain.
Fig. 5. Docile sun-basker or government conspiracy? I report, you decide.
So there you have it, my feline friend, five reasons why I think you're a Republican member of the 1%. The revolution's a coming, Geoffy, and you can't do a thing to stop it.
6:23 AM PT : Update: This diary hitting the very top of the rec list is definitive proof that the rec list is a cesspool. /snark
This is just too Funny....
What can I say, you must know something I have never heard before..This is about cats and that's all it was intended to be, some humor...
My cat is an independent.
Proof:
He can't make up his mind if he wants to lick me or lick my hubby.
He has a problem picking which ball to play with
Although he isn't aloof, he has a real issue with who he sleeps with in bed.
He likes both wet and dry food.
He is a snowshoe, which means that he is bi colored...
And he is so Cuteeee!!!!!! Beautiful....
Perrie, I had a conversation on Skype with your cat the other day and all he could say.....
He didn't look very happy about it.
That's Ok BW, I didn't get the humor...thanks for the participation..Not that it isn't funny to other people, I just don't get somethings that is funny to others...but thank you anyway...
Your fluffy boy is quite handsome as well. He looks like a ragdoll. Is he?
Grumpy cat is a snowshoe.... just grumpier.
Hey... I haven't told Wally that they've gone missing and I am not going to let that ball of furry grumpiness tell him either.
That's funny Six...I get it...so Cute, I do love Cats:
Does he call you Comrade then sell you out to the local rats?
My Cat is a Conspiracy Theorist
This is great stuff. Thanks. I chuckled all the way through. I'm thinking the cat sounds more like a Bolshevik revolutionary than a republican, though. Did Che have a cat? I bet he did.
Do Cats Like Strawberries?
Guess Not.
I'm the new Sheriff in town, and this cat nonsense will stop now, ya hear me? Do we have a failure to communicate?
You bet right Grump!
They are beautiful Six...
Love it Kavika..the new Sheriff lol!!!
I want my own kitten!!!
This is so cute Six...
New Sheriff huh? Well my cat says bring em on!!!
Meet "Lefty"
Wow...
Wally says he will remain on his fense and far away from your cat. He's a lover.
Awwwww... what cuties!
It is!
Hmmm , that reminds me of another thread :
Dear Petey: My daughters dog, Max isn't a member of an organized political party. He is a progressive Democrat (as am I).
Enoch.
Ummmm... Kavika... that's not scary. That's too cute!
So ... you're both members of a disorganized party ?
Looks are deceiving Perrie. You've heard the saying, ''meaner than a junk yard dog'', well meet ''Junk Yard''..
I do like cats, especially Siamese and have had several over the years. They don't seem to want to be in a political party, though. Maria, my last Siamese, was a Maria-crat cat and not much of a card carrying party joiner. She wasn't even a cat apologist as other cats were a nuisance rather than comrades. Her only comrade was Phaedra my Great Dane. They were always up to something and plotting.
Correct. I celebrate Cinco de Mayo June 12th. Max observers the holiday February 32nd.
It doesn't get much more disorganized than that.
E.