5 Questions That Movie Plots Never Seem to Answer
5 Questions That Movie Plots Never Seem to Answer
By C.Coville, Cracked.com, February 6, 2014
Most of the time, asking questions is a good thing. Think about where humans would be today if nobody had ever asked, "I wonder if that animal will let me use it as a chair?" or "Have you noticed that drinking this fermented bread makes everyone look more attractive?"
But the exception to this is when you're watching movies and TV shows. Here, the inability to turn off your logic-brain will not only ruin your immersion, but also destroy every friendship you have. Your former companions will gather around screens in other people's houses while you sit at home, eating popcorn salted with your own tears, and ask yourself: "Shouldn't a monster that big collapse under its own weight? Why didn't the police see the tracks leading up to Walter White's car? How long will it take for my ferret to eat me after I die?" So consider yourself warned: The following five questions may be capable of wrecking both your movie enjoyment and your social life forever. Let's start with ...
Click this link to see the five questions:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-questions-that-movie-plots-never-seem-to-answer/#ixzz2t5dkwOwG
Then can you add another one yourself?
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Anyone have any ideas about other mystery situations that don't seem natural?
How come the bad guys can't shoot straight? I mean, 200 rounds with an Uzi and the only thing that they hit was a barn. Yet the good guy, with a .38 hits the bad guy at 500 yards with one shot.
You should see the crime movies made in China - NOBODY can shoot straight. It doesn't matter if its the good guys or the bad guys, nobody can hit what they aim at even if 1000 shots are fired (and at least 1000 shots ARE fired in these movies).
Your first example has to be PC - they can't depict any particular race as being more criminal than another. Maybe the second example can be explained by the fact that movie moguls live in multi-million dollar homes and they have no idea what it's like to be poor. (Think of John Cleese in Time Bandits: "Have you met the poor? Charming people.")
I guess a good example of racism in one of the best movies ever made, Casablanca, would be when Ingrid Bergman, as Ilsa Lang, called Sam, played by Dooley Wilson, "the boy playing the piano" notwithstanding the fact that he was obviously middle-aged. However, that was in the early 1940s. There have been many articles written about racism in the movies, not only how non-whites were depicted, but in the use (actually non-use) of actors of different races.
1. Why do aliens invade Earth to get shit they could easily find elsewhere? Whether it's food & water (V) or natural resources (Independence Day), whatever, there are tons of planets where all that shit is laying around waiting to be scarfed up w/ no hassle.... but NOOO, let's go fuck with the Earth-people.
2. How come so many people are so stupid they deserve to die??? Take 'Alien' for example: there's a huge parasitic predator loose on the ship. "I got an idea-- let's split up & crawl through the air ducts till we find it!" "FUCK YOU-- let's put on our space suits and open all the air locks -- betcha the motherfucker has to breathe something..."
3. Vampires are killed w/ a wooden stake thru the heart-- how come nobody ever thinks of dum-dum bullets?
4. Do werewolves really heal up fast enough to handle a flamethrower-- or a chain saw?
5. Why do people always go thru the creaky door to see what that creepy noise is? Can't they hear the menacing organ music?
Haha, good ones Swami.
1. Well, there could be something on Earth that they might not find elsewhere. I'm sure you're familiar with the Twilight Zone "To Serve Man".
2. You mean you expect a sci-fi horror plot to be realistic?
3. Wouldn't sunlight do the same thing?
4. Werewolves only become wolves at certain times so you could probably whack them when they're in human form.
5. Only The Shadow knows the answer to that one.
When was it decided and by who that every white man that went to the African continent automatically became a crack shot and able to lead a safari, while speaking every dialect in the country?
Ever notice that in the50-60-70"s nudity was banned only for the white people perfectly alright though to show the African female bare chested nursing a child while little naked children ran around her feet.
"The weed if crime bears bitter fruit..."
He couldn't have talking about that weed, could he? (On the other hand, he did laugh a lot...)
Because years ago, it was deemed "racist" to depict any one minority as criminal, so, as a matter of TV-PC, they started acting like gangs could be multi-cultural groups of like-minded, although racially disparate, youths of multiple races.
Not sure I agree Mike...
You obviously don't watch Law & Order or any other Dick Wolf production. The gangs are very one ethnically.
Is there a Dick Wolf clause in Hollywood?
Good one Larry!
Excellent Swami!
Tnx and a tip of the Swami's turban, PH...
So mine is where earth is full of where witches, vampires, werewolfs, and wessen, and only a handful of people can see them, much less even know that they are there.
Or maybe that is an episode of the Long Island Medium?
(Only kidding Teresa. I love ya)
1. Long drawn out death scenes always beg the question, why not just call 911.
Why not get an Emergency Medical Technicianto handle the health care emergency?
2. Variation on another point previously raised. In the old Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon movies, entire planets were composed of just one race. No bio-diversity at all. Same for some Star Treks.
Today, of course, with the new entertainment economics, commercials have been replaced by product referencesweaved into the plots. I suppose today planets would be occupied by such races as theDole Pineapple People. A species with circular waists, crushed feet in shoes, and minty chunks for eyes. Another world could be populated by the LegoClan. They are a racewho can assemble and disassemble themselves several times a day, depending on the needs of the clime and other factors going on in their lives. Kind of like how a virus mutates. Its a thought.
3. Finally, a world where the entire inhabitants are known as the silly putty people. A scholarly group, they learn place pacing their bodies over print and illustrations. They then remove themselves, bearing imprints of what they just covered. Kind of like the Book People in Fahrenheit 451, or the protagonist in the Illustrated Man.
I wish I could go on, but I need to watch a commercial on TV, sponsored by the good folksat Duke Energy Company in North Carolina.
Don't ask!
Enoch.
You don't really think white men went to Africa to ogle the lions & elephants, do you? (Check the 1st 10 minutes of 'Zulu' for the real attractions of the 'dark continent'...)
LOL no Swami... but it does bring a funny image to mind.
Sounds more like the Long Island Iced Tea Medium-- makesyou see things no one else can see...
Gravitonium One of the cheapest and common substances in the known universe. It magically gives all space ships gravity. A spaceship can be dead, no power, and still have gravity. All spaceships can afford Gravitonium.
Around the time the movie 2001 Space Odyssey is when weightlessness was invented. As having weightlessness in your spaceship actually cost more, people still relied on Gravitonium without offering any explanation.
Today, weightlessness is cheaper due to the invention CGI but you still find Gravitonium is being used.
Most excellent observation, AP... kudos and a tip of the Swami's turban!!
They had Sgt Spear-chucker when MASH first started (he may not have been a Sgt actually. I dont exactly remember).
Oh yeah, I remember that dude.
And between Archie Bunker and George Jefferson, you couldn't find two more out spoken bigots. I loved them!
You get 3
for that one Swami! I do like my ice tea!
See...I just learned something. I never knew aboutGravitonium. Thanks for the 411 Aeon!