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Donald Trump Arrested by Dept. of Homeland Security

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  swamijim-sez  •  11 years ago  •  8 comments

Donald Trump Arrested by Dept. of Homeland Security

7169_discussions.jpg Former Presidential candidate Donald Trump is being held without bail in a Federal maximum security facility, after agents of the Department of Homeland Security raided his home around 3:00 am this morning. Trumps attorney said the ageing plutocrat is being held without bond, but declined to specify what charges had been lodged against his client.

DHS Press Representative Jack MeHoff, in a prepared statement, indicated that Trumps arrest was the result of in extensive investigation which had been in process for nearly a year. MeHoff also refused to specify charges against Trump, but indicated they would come under the general heading of espionage; he noted that The Donald is currently undergoing intensive interrogation at an undisclosed location.

Sources within the DHS, speaking anonymously since they were not authorized to release information, related that Trump had been under surveillance for some time.

We became concerned, and started keeping an eye on him after he made a number of statements that simply didnt make sense, one noted. I mean, this goes back way before the whole birther deal at first we thought he was just another rich loony-tune, but over time it was obvious that many of his remarks were just not the sort of things that a normal person would be expected to say.

It was really about all the contradictions, the bizarre temperament, the accumulation of so many apparently irrational comments and so on, another source related, And after we started more intensive monitoring, the real tipoff was the series of changes in that thing on top of his head

After correlating all their information they had collected, DHS agents quietly convened a panel of xenobiology theorists and laid the data in front of them; the consensus conclusion was both speedy and unanimous.

That is not just a remarkably unconvincing hairpiece, one stated flatly, its an extraterrestrial implant, possibly a complete alien life form. And its living on his head. There are roots or tentacles or something, going right through his skull, probably feeding on whatevers left of his brain. Hes a vessel or a vehicle for something thats not connected to normal nature. When you analyze many of his statements, you realize that theyre coming from a creature that has absolutely no understanding of human relationships and no comprehension of how things work on this world. They sound inhuman and unearthly because theyre coming from a creature that doesnt belong on this planet. Its not about Trump at all; its about the alien monstrosity thats living inside his head.

Speaking off the record, one prominent scientist stated, That whole thing about the lunar colony was remarkably revealing. Its not crazy if you look at from the aliens point of view-- the colony was simply a front, a smokescreen, a way to get someplace where it could be picked up. It was trying to get home.

Most alarming of all, the DHS has not ruled out the possibility that there are others like Trump, masquerading as humans, possibly involved in high level finance or even government.

God knows how far its spread, was the final comment, We dont know how it reproduces or gets transmitted; we dont know how many people may be infected for infested by these things. When you listen to some of the comments coming out of Wall Street or Washing DC these days, you cant help but wonder How many alien, inhuman personalities are in charge of our world?


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sixpick
Professor Quiet
link   sixpick    11 years ago

Finally someone is going to get to the bottom of that thing and see exactly what it really is. I can't tell whether it starts in the back and comes to the front or starts in the front and goes to the back.

 
 
 
Swamijim sez
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Swamijim sez    11 years ago

Unconfirmed reports are that DHS & CIA agents intend to waterboard The Donald until the repulsive thing gives up every filthy secret... then they plan to start on the alien.

 
 
 
luther28
Sophomore Silent
link   luther28    11 years ago

I just knew that bad hair dowas not of this earth. Some form of tracking device no doubt.

Thanks for the grin.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     11 years ago

Thanks for the morning laugh. I always thought that the hair covered the antenna's growing out of his skull...

 
 
 
Swamijim sez
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Swamijim sez    11 years ago

Didn't notice the tags, hey RL?

 
 
 
Swamijim sez
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Swamijim sez    11 years ago

Morning luther, tnx for dropping in.

Think "The Puppet Masters"...

 
 
 
Swamijim sez
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Swamijim sez    11 years ago

Kavika--- glad you got a giggle out of it...(look for more titles)

You & the DHS too... that "hair" IS the antennas!!

 
 
 
Rixar13
Freshman Silent
link   Rixar13    11 years ago
Sources within the DHS, speaking anonymously since they were not authorized to release information, related that Trump had been under surveillance for some time.

Great news... 113.gif

 
 

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