RuPaul Sues NRA Over Withdrawal of Contract Offer
Legendary drag queen performer, supermodel and television star RuPaul has filed a 20 million dollar lawsuit and a parallel Civil Rights gender-discrimination action against the National Rifle Association and NRA President Wayne LaPierre. According to RuPauls attorneys, the court actions stem from a dispute over a contract allegedly offered to RuPaul by the NRA and a subsequent refudiation of the contract based solely on the performers gender preference.
Documents filed with the court state that in early January of 2013, RuPauls New York office received a letter from NRA headquarters, consisting of a contract offer to serve as a paid representative/media-spokesperson for the National Rifle Association. Attorneys indicated that RuPaul accepted and signed the contract, which was notarized and returned to the NRA sometime in February. A few days later, NRA representatives contacted RuPauls office by telephone, indicating that the National Rifle Association had never intended to extend the contract offer, and allegedly stated the NRA could not honor the agreement due to RuPauls status and reputation as an admitted homosexual.
A press release issued by RuPauls office stated: This case is an obvious issue of both breach of contract and gender discrimination, and as such, RuPaul will pursue Court action for immediate financial damages for breach of contract, and punitive damages based on emotional distress, as well as redress for egregious & arbitrary discrimination in termination based on gender preference, a clear violation under the Civil Rights Act provisions regarding employment. A contract was in fact extended, accepted and signed, only to be then later capriciously denied; the sole reason given for the attempt to renege on the completed contract was due to RuPauls sexual preference. Such blatant discrimination is unacceptable, and we will seek full restitution and appropriate legal action in all areas.
NRA spokesman Andrew Arulanandam told reporters that the situation was regrettable, but based entirely on a simple clerical error and added that The NRA is confident that the courts will recognize that the National Rifle Association had no malicious intent in attempting to clear up what was in essence a simple misunderstanding leading to a miscommunition with RuPauls office. According to Arulanandam, Mr. LaPierre had sent a hand-written memo directing an assistant to contact Ron Puals office and see if we can hire him as an NRA spokesperson.
Unfortunately, Mr. LaPierres handwriting is about as bad as (Treasury Secretary) Jack Lews, and Waynes secretary misread it as contact RuPauls office, Arulanandum continued, Since nobody in the NRA questions Mr. LaPierres directives, a contract was simply sent to the wrong person; we realized the error as soon as the response was received, and simply sought to rectify the communication error. We are still investigating what might have been said or misunderstood during the telephone call to RuPauls office, so I cant comment on that issue at present.
Arulanandam categorically denied rumors that the telephone contact to RuPauls office had indicated the National Rifle Association cannot be perceived as advocating the arming of homosexuals, or that anyone associated with the NRA was authorized to state neither the Constitution nor the Bill of Rights mentions homosexuals, so the Founding Fathers clearly never intended the 2 nd Amendment to apply to gay people. Arulanandam added that President LaPierre is unavailable for comment, while anonymous sources at the NRA indicated that LaPierre was under a doctors care for a heart attack or possibly a cerebral aneurism.
Reporters confirmed that LaPierre is in seclusion in a private hospital near his home; a call to his cellular telephone number resulted in hysterical screaming and terminated after the only intelligible comment fucking drag queen faggot
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What, nobody likes an April Fool rap?
Hi, Jim-- so is this satire or real? I've been in a meeting all day, and haven't had a chance to see the news...
Just about anything people would do these days doesn't surprise me. And I'm sort of gullible to start with.
Well, when the word "refudiation" is used, it can only be one of two things.
Take your pick.
Hello D-- tns for dropping in. Check the tags, kiddo-- the Swami has 4 AF Day titles up right now
Actuall, it could be both-- if it was real, it would still be satire...