Space Alien/human Hybrid Babies- Not Only Do They Exist, They Are All Around Us.
Recently, I discovered a shocking fact- Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama hooked up in the 70s and had a baby. And Hillary and Obama, both being human-alien hybrids, produced a unique offspring. Using alien technology to age the baby, we are now seeing the results- the first Father/Son Presidential ticket. But this is NOT the oddest SA/H hybrid out there. And some of these hybrids will shock you. Some, of course, will just make you say "I shoulda known!" ALL will enlighten you.
Men In Black was telling the truth. Michael jackson was, indeed, an alien imposter, but he was NOT a hybrid. He just hung out here for a while then faked his death to be able to return home. Sadly, he was executed on his return because he'e had so many surgeries they didn't recognize him as the space squid he'd started life as.
Rush Limbaugh was born to a human woman and space alien from the planet Bloviatus II, when his father came here to study human politics, an area where humanity is better trained in bloviating than the natives of Bloviatus II. Needless to say, the combination proved to outshine BOTH founding races at the skill.
Diane Feinstein is the hybrid offspring of a human man and a, well, we can't be exactly sure WHAT sex the other parent was, but since the human had to carry it to term, it really doesn't matter. The other parent was from the planet Rules'us from the BigBrother Nebula. According to reports from the BBN, the experiment resulted in a miscarriage, howeverthe miscarriage lived, and continues to plague us to this day.
John Wayne was the result of a union between an alien from the Cowboy Cluster and a beautiful but talentless actress. he was raised by foster parents when the mother forgot to breathe one day. the reason for John's trademark stilted delivery of lines was actually from his being forced to remember to breathe. Off screen, there was a man whose sole job was to whisper "Breathe in......... Breathe out" John used his trademark Camel Cigarette to aid his breathing off screen. Bad Plan, don'tcha think?
Glenn Beck is the result of TWO alien races plus a human (Do NOT ask!!) He had one father from the religiously bigoted planet Saved and the other father was from the hedonistic planet Stoned. The result, when combined with a human female of questionable morals was, well, Glenn. Semi smart, moderately talented, and crazier than a bedbug.
Lady GaGa. C'mon, this one ya HAD to know was an alien/human hybrid. No one knows what the father actually looks like, because to look on him directly causes insanity and blindness. Fortunately, (or unfortunately, depending on your take on her music) Mom was passed out drunk when the conception took place. Yes, she really WAS "Born this Way".
This is just a small sample of the Space Alien/Human Hybrid people out there. Funny how so many manage success in human society. Look around you. I'll bet you can spot a few in your circle. Let us know who YOU think is one.
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Michelle Obama is not a hybrid. But she IS an Alien- we just can't find out what planet she came from- it seems the records are sealed. Their "children" are just adopted human girls- that's why they are so cute!
you are FAST!!! WOW!
I know that Glen Beck always claims to have been found under a cabbage leaf in the cabbage patch, but I am positive that he is a "butt hole baby". I might be wrong, though.
Well, I won't mention where he emerged from his female parent, Buuuutttttt.........
Yes, sorta- the offspring of a mobile plant and an anorexic Chimpanzee. Nice try, but no human involved at all.
My understanding is (this is top secret, so beware) that Harry Ried and Nancy Pelosi had a love child in the 70's he is waiting to be the next president of the U.S. Hillary doesn't have a chance.
That could have been the 1870's now that I think of it.
Dang it. Where is Torchwood when you need them?
The humorless should be ashamed of themselves - especially the ones who take themselves, but no one else, seriously.
Mike,
If you can get hold of it, read the short story, Playboy and the Slime God, by Issac Asimov. It explores that possibility very thoroughly.
Hey, Neale, you forgot to get "Blast" and "Amazing" in your title. You could always edit to get those buzzwords in there, you know.
I am going to make a buzzword article and start collecting buzzwords. hee hee hee.
Ummm, but that wouldn't be a Space Alien/human hybrid. It would be a simple space alien/space alien baby...
Neale--
As a careful observer who's been studying this for years (ever since I saw 'The Mysterians' in 1957), I need to point out that (a la MIB) you've only exposed the tip of the iceberg--- there are many complete Aliens Among Us! Many of them pass as Terrans, though they usually can be identified once you know what subtle clues to look for. I'll pass on a couple of the more obvious types, just to help folks be sure who they're dealing with:
The Lhardassians: The Lhardassians originate from a binary star system, Lhardass being the fifth planet orbiting the twin suns Kloodious and Magzimus. Evidence suggests that their evolution was similar to our own, except that they descended frommammalians closely resembling the Terran walrus, which had remained on land rather than returning to the seas. Their body chemistry is not an exact match for Earth conditions, causing Lhardassians to develop a craving that amounts to an addiction for Terran sucrose and carbohydrates. Unfortunately they also cannot metabolize these substances properly, causing a rapid buildup of adipose and lipoid tissue concentrated about the waist, hips and thighs. This metabolic quirk results in a silhouette that typically resembles a turkey drumstick stood on end, transforming slowly into a pronounced turnip shape in later life. Lhardassians are most frequently observed congregating at all-you-can-eat buffet and pizza restaurants, although they also gravitate to any place that features a predominately deep-fried menu. For reasons which have yet to be understood, many Lhardassi females are convinced that they look their best in velour sweatpants or spandex leggings
The Shidzhacks: Although they have generally adapted well to conditions on Terra, Shidzhack brains are actually markedly different from out own; whether this is a matter of structure or function remains as yet unknown. Shidzhacks are often highly imaginative and emotionally passionate, but apparently lack the ability to readily differentiate between observed fact and their own belief systems. The result is that Shidzhacks are often incredibly gullible and prone to be fascinated with obscure or outright bizarre concepts ranging from Satanism to Creationism, Flat Earth and free-market laissez faire capitalism. Since the Shidzhack way of thinking cannot follow logical propositions, once an idea has become entrenched they are untouchable by reasonable discourse and rapidly become agitated or even hysterical when confronted with evidence that contradicts their suppositions. Shidzhacks typically exhibit a cult mentality and will cling zealously to associates or self-proclaimed authorities who reinforce or pander to their beliefs...
Tnx and a tip of the Swami's turban for keeping the vigil & spreading the word-- remember, no matter how paranoid you are, you're not paranoid enough!
Ummmm, I'm NOT from Shidzhack, yet I, too believe in Laissez-faire capitalism, though I am fully aware that the world is round, 6+ billion years old, and there is no God or Satan (though apparently Obama looks remarkably similar to some representations of the mythical "Satan" figure). Other than that, I was aware of these two breeds.
However, from your careful omission of the worst breed, I suspect that rather than being a human observer of aliens you actually ARE one of the worst, most insidious type- Fortunately for you, this last breed is actually a parasite that can be destroyed with no adverse side effects with the simple application of a simple cure. Libertarianism Concentrate.This parasite, which turns otherwise intelligent people into liberals or conservatives (the two heads of a single coin) bent on the domination of the other head of thae coin. This parasite has resulted in two warring groups of parasite-ridden peoples who simply trade places at the helm of the United States, each side serially blaming the other for the latest war then taling credit for it. It is theorized that they feed off the emotions of the un-infected, and deliberately stir their followers up to feed. It seems that there are only about 10-15 thousand infected people, the rest are just gullible fools. A gullible fool, however, would have found the third type if he was actually observing as closely as you claim to, leading me to believe you are infected, and trying to distract us from your fellow infectees by sicking us on the effectively harmless yet amusing Shidzhacks and Lhardassians. I can cure you, if you so desire!
Neale--
I didn't mean to imply that you were a Shidzhack, though I am aware of your politico-economic aberrations. And I must say I do agree with you-- libertarianism is a 'simple cure' (gotcha!)
Personal politics aside and sticking with your humor thread, I think you may be in error regarding Rush Limbaugh... while I can't be 100% certain, I suspect that both Limbaugh and Dick Cheney are actually alien/alien offspring-- they both look pretty much like Lhardassian-Shidzhacks to me...
OUCH! That stung (a little!
)
Ya could be right on Rush and Cheney....... Actually, I guarantee you're right on Cheney. Not so sure on Rush. I'd have to perform an autopsy to be sure. And that would leave the Noon to three time slot vacant on a pair of stations I listen to when the music is crappy, so I'll hold off a few years, if you don't mind.
That's a real disaster in the making Jim. You just described BEER. If getting rid of that is the method of evicting the Lhardassians, I'll live with the aliens in our midst.
I don't drink beer. Ditch the Lhardassians. Now, if we were talking Jack Daniels.......
TT--
I got no beef (or pork fat for that matter) with Lhardassians. We're all living with aliens in our midst; everybody's somebody's boogieman. That's why 'Walking Dead' is so popular-- we all suspect that our neighbors are mindless voracious consumers who'll have to be shot in the head when push comes to shove...
And that is one reason that so many oppose gun control. It probably ALSO explains the gun banning crowd!
At last, a point we can agree on-- I knew there was something I liked about you. You're a good man, N.O., I don't care what they say about ya...
That's good, because I don't care what people say about me, too!
A JD man. Straight, over ice, with coke, or with lemonade or iced tea. ANYTHING goes better with Jack. It's also the base for my barbecue sauce.
Damn I love a good barbecue... Coke with a little shot of lime juice, perfect chaser. If you're a really good boy I'll give you the Swami's iced tea recipe-- a six tea blend that's so frickin' good angels will drop in on you just to get a glass...
'Gun control' is being able to hit what's out there...
Lots of Righties don't like me cause I support birth control & abortion &rights for the fucked-over, whoever they (we) are; lots of Lefties don't like me cause I'm okay with a death penalty and think non-violence isa wonderful concept until you're dealing with the violent-- then it doesn't work worth shit. I think it was Emerson who said 'Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds'; SwamiJim sez 'Fug 'em if they can't take a joke...'
Dammit SS, I hate it when I find I have something in common with people I don't think I have anything in common with... it's the curse of Social(ist) Media!
Have a good weekend chief-- I'll almost certainly insult the hell out of you somewhere down the line, but right this minute I'm all caught up in the (bourbon) spirit of friendship. Cheers...
au contraire, mon frere. If YOU are good I'll give you MY barbecue sauce recipe. Then, we can both make barbecue and drink iced tea together, even if you are there and I am here!
Ummm, Jim, I got some bad news fer ya (well, bad for you, good for me)- you're a Libertarian. Not the type who vote Republican but like pot, but a REAL Libertarian. Most of us prefer the death penalty at the hands of the intended victim at the scene of the intended crime (i.e. a concealed weapon), but you will do quite nicely.
Don't try to woo me with dirty talk, Neale... I might go down for the barbecue sauce, as long as you don't call it 'Libertarian Concentrate' (lol). I'm an unreconstructed ageing former hippie pothead who's comfortable with his owncontradictions, that's all. SwamiJim sez: The secret to mental health is not that you gotta be mentally healthy, you just need to be well-adjusted to your fuckups...
Sure, Jim. Whatever you say.......
The term you guys are looking for is "Friendly Antagonist". A person you philosphically oppose, verbally spar with, and really like anyway. A. Macarthur is one of my best FAs. I do not think we agree more than 3 or 4% of the time on politics. We argue like cats and dogs all the time. Yet he's a great guy, and I like and respect him.
A tip of the Swami's turban to both you and SS...
It's usually shortly after I've been all serious & intense that it dawns on methat I'm probably full of shit (an assessment which my GF episodically reminds me).
I always thought that they reproduced by fission, like all other bacteria.