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The Birthday Party with The FBI

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  dowser  •  11 years ago  •  23 comments

The Birthday Party with The FBI

8693_discussions.png Almost 36 years ago, I was in my senior year of college, living in a one-room apartment, finishing up my classes, and struggling to make ends meet.

It was my Grandpa's birthday. My dear Grandma had just passed away the previous November, and Grandpa was beside himself, in a dazed sort of way, so he and my mother were coming to my apartment for a birthday party. I would have done anything to make him happy again. So, I sold one of my text books, and with the money, purchased birthday goodies.

I had decorated by apartment with balloons and crepe paper streamers. I had a cake that i had bought-- my apartment had a 2 burner hot plate, and I had carefully fixed lunch so that I could warm up stuff. The birthday chair was placed at the head of the table, and a small pile of gifts at his place. I had made a big sign, "Happy Birthday Grandpa!" I had a phone, but no TV.

Mama and Grandpa were running late, and I was in my usual pre-party jitters, when there was a knock at the door.

It's them, I thought! I ran to the door, and opened it, calling, "Happy Birthday, Gran..."

8694_discussions.png There were two men at the door. Two men in fancy suits, wearing sunglasses. One of them was holding a badge. "FBI" the first man said. I gulped. What on earth???

In shock, I invited them in. "May I help you?" I asked in complete bumfuzzlement.

"Do you know Larry Hassock?" the agent asked.

"Well, sir, yes I do. He is in our geology club-- in fact, he started it. Is something wrong?" I asked, curiously.

"What do you know about Larry Hassock?" he asked, sternly.

"Uh," I said, "he gave us $100 to start up the geology club. He's older than all of us, and is a Vietnam vet. He's going to school on the GI Bill and his mother lives in Sikeston, MO. He's a really nice fellow and all of us are friends with him. Has something happened to Larry?" My heart sank-- Larry was good to all of us. I drank coffee with him, out of the awful coffee machine, at least 3 times a week. We had a couple of classes together.

"The geology club?" The man asked, putting his badge in his coat pocket. He looked at me inquiringly, stern, and quite scary.

So, I said, "Larry is a nice man. He is much more mature than I-- as in light years ahead of me, which I guess is because of his war service. I always feel fortunate he even talks to me-- I'm sort of a doophus, I guess. He always has a new car, that he gets from his Mom. She owns a used car lot in Sikeston. He always seems to have plenty of money, but I guess that's from the GI Bill." I slowly wound down... "Has something happened to Larry? Sir?"

The agent looked at me hard. "Do you know of Larry's friends here at the school?"

"Yes sir, we're all friends with him. We're all geology majors and we're all friends. I don't know of any other friends he might have. I think he has a girl in Sikeston, but I'm not sure, sir." I was getting more and more alarmed. I was standing in my apartment, with crepe paper streamers and a giant sign that read "Happy Birthday Grandpa!", and the FBI is asking me about LARRY?

"Sir," I said, " has something happened to Larry? "

The FBI agent seemed to relax a little bit. He looked at the neat little apartment, the sign, the obvious birthday party for Grandpa, the cake, the food at the little kitchenette, and seemed to come to some sort of internal decision.

" Sir, " I asked again, " has something awful happened to Larry? "

He looked at me, doubtfully. "Three days ago, Larry Hassock was captured in a pursuit, following a bank robbery in Paris, Tennessee. During the pursuit, he wrecked his car, took his gun and shot himself in the head."

I sat in the birthday chair, suddenly weak kneed. "A bank robbery?" There had been a string of robberies in the area that year... At one point, the police at Puryear had the suspect within 1/10th of a mile, and lost him in the woods... We had all sat around the table at the SUB and listened on the radio... That was LARRY?

"Is Larry dead?" I asked, blankly.

"No," the agent said, "he is in serious condition at the hospital in Paducah. Can you tell me anything else about him?"

I gathered my wits. "Sir, I will happily tell you anything and everything I know, but my Grandpa is coming for his 83rd birthday party, any minute! He is an old, sad, man and he will NOT understand how I know a bank robber... Can you come back later?"

The agents shared a glance, shrugged their shoulders, and said, "We may be contacting you, in the future." And they opened the door and left. As they pulled out of the driveway, Grandpa and Mama pulled in!

I never saw them again, so I guessed I checked out, but the flotsam and jetsam of Larry's final job and capture floated by for weeks. One of our professors had given him shelter the night of one robbery. Larry showed up at his door, out of breath, with no car, and asked if he could stay the night. Since Larry was a Vietnam vet, the professor cut him some slack, and let him stay on the couch.

He had a new car, just about every month. I never knew they were stolen. I completely bought the tale that his mother owned a used car lot. He always had money, when we surely didn't. But he was going to school on the GI bill-- didn't they give them spending money?

The night of the Puryear robbery, he had called a mutual friend and asked her to pick him up. A mother of two, she didn't think anything about picking him up at a gas station, where he said he'd left his car. He was limping, but, he said he'd walked pretty far on his bad leg. She didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary. She thought he was being kind when he gave her $50 to come get him. Back then, $50 bought a lot of food for the baby.

Larry had a tendency to disappear on weekends. I thought he went home to visit his girl at Sikeston. Nope, he was casing out the next job...

None of us knew. All of us were a bunch of innocent hicks, who trusted a friend.

Thank God the FBI figured that out!!! Smile.gif

Thanks for coming by!


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Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I always liked Larry, and he was always nice to me. I just accepted him the way he was. He always talked to me with amusement in his eyes, like I was some kind of innocent dope-- and I was an innocent dope. I got decent grades, I did the work, and helped him with his geology papers...

This was one of the greatest surprises of my life! And, to top it off, to be questioned by the FBI...

35.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Folks, I'm heading for the barn this evening-- I hope all of you have a great evening! Sleep well!

Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Thanks so much!

Yep, it's true! I always wondered if they had me listed on some sort of dossier... I also had another friend that went to work at the CIA, and we've never heard from him again. Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?

I was truly panicked that Grandpa would be upset-- he was so fragile and sad... I would have done anything I could to make him happy again. But, there was nothing I could do.

Thanks for coming by! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty
Freshman Silent
link   Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty    11 years ago

Hard to imagine the shock of anticipation, expectation.... Not!

Idaprolly swalowed ma gum.

Thank You.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I told them everything I knew, which wasn't much! I guess they figured that I wasn't smart enough to rob a bank, or help someone do it, either... I was absolutely thrilled when they went away!

We had a nice birthday party for dear Grandpa-- but nothing I could do really helped... 17.gif

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    11 years ago

Girl you lived an interesting life.

The only thing that happened to me at college, was that I found out how this one girl always got A's in all her classes... she did it on her back... which left her with a lot of free time us normal working girls didn't have.

Great story as always. You have a gift for it, you know!

 
 
 
redphish
Freshman Silent
link   redphish    11 years ago
Back when I was 17, I sold a car to an aquantance and did'nt know that I was supposed to take the tag off of the car. For the next week or so, it seemed like every time I left or came back to the house, I would see a cop somewhere around my street. I just thought it was coincedence. Then, early one the next Saturday morning I learned it wasn't.I was asleep (passed out really) when I awoke to my dad knocking on my bedroom door. He said there were people that needed to talk to me. I went to the front door and was greeted by me
 
 
 
redphish
Freshman Silent
link   redphish    11 years ago
n in suits showing me their shiny FBI badges. They asked me if I owned a beige 1974 Plymouth Satellite. I told them no, I had sold it a week or so ago. They seem a little peeved and informed me that because I left my tag on it, I had wasted a week of their precious time.They had spent that time staking out my house waiting for that car to return because it had been used as a getaway car for a bank robbery. I told them whom I sold it to and they went off on their merry way.
 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Oh my gosh! Well, that's one way, I guess...

Thanks, Perrie-- this is one my funny stories I trot out now and then for a laugh... At the time, it wasn't at ALL funny! I've never seen Larry again, and I wonder if he is getting out of prison soon... I wonder at the severity of his injuries...

It just goes to show you that you never know what goes on behind people's eyes. He had his quirks, be we all chalked it up to his experiences in the war. He was always nice to me, and very kind. I helped him write his geology papers. What a waste!

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

HOLY schmoley!

SEE? I'm not alone! Lots of good, decent people have brushes with crooks! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty
Freshman Silent
link   Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty    11 years ago

Seems that they could have thought to ask before a week... must've needed some down time.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

He never knew, dear Neetu! EVER-- he probably does now, that he's in heaven, but I never told him... Bless him, how I loved him! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I was in an absolute panic-- and then, they left, thank heavens!

It was obvious that I wasn't some kind of 'gun moll', LOL! Smile.gif

 
 
 
krounded
Freshman Silent
link   krounded    11 years ago

Quite an interesting story Dowser. I'm glad they believed you :-)

 
 
 
Soovivers
Freshman Silent
link   Soovivers    11 years ago

Dowser - I too wonder how you seem to get into all this truble with wackos? Do you think there is an aura around you that draws odd people. lols

Enjoyed your story,41.gif as always. Hugs to you Dowser and I'm glad Grandpa didn't have his party ruined because of the FBI.

 
 
 
Leotie
Freshman Silent
link   Leotie    11 years ago

Dowser, those men with the shiny badges can scare the pee out of you if they have a mind to, can't they? Sounds like some of the "adventures" I've had, will post some later.Grin.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Me, too!!! I was quite grateful! But it was obvious that I was living on a shoe string... No TV, no kitchen... If I'd had money, I would have had a toaster oven, anyway... Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I don't know, Soovie-- maybe I'm a sympathetic listener that believes the best in people... For a while there, everywhere I turned, I saw a dwarf. It was like they were following me or something. I'm a normal-sized person, just small, but for a while, the only guys that were interested in me were dwarves... I never did figure that one out, either!

I was just so relieved that they went away... Grandpa would have been horrified! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I surely hope that you do! I'm a pretty normal little person, so all this is astounding to me! (It was astounding to all of us!)

Love you!

Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Oh my gosh! I'm very glad you got the job, and very impressed that you could think through this! Good for you!

And you're right-- weird things happen to the nicest people!

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Good gosh! What a miracle! Smile.gif

 
 

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