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The Saga, Part 10– The Deli of the Green

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  dowser  •  11 years ago  •  18 comments

The Saga, Part 10– The Deli of the Green

8768_discussions.png Before we go any further in this saga, I must explain that in my small city, we didnt have delis in 1982. I had never seen a deli, and had no idea what a deli was about. I had, of course, heard of delis, but thought it was just a place to go and get a sandwich, much like at the grocery store where you walked up to what was called the Deli Counter and ordered a Cheese and Baloney sandwich on whole wheat.

Nothing fancyyou got a slice of baloney, a slice of American cheese, on two slices of whole wheat bread. No big deal. They spread a little mayonnaise on the bread to make it stick together, and that was that. Pickles were free and in a little jar next to the counteryou fished them out yourself if you wanted any. So, when Fred directed me to a deli named The Deli of the Green, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

8769_discussions.png Deli of the Green was located about 20 minutes from the well field, in a little city park. It had bright green walls with white trim and bright green and white striped awnings. All the furniture outside was white, so it was a very pretty place. I doubt that I would have missed it on my trek for food the night before, but it was just over the next hill and out of sight. I found a pull-in parking place for the monster car, which was a stroke of unbelievably good fortune and walked into the shop.

Now, remember, I am used to going to the grocery, and ordering a ham sandwich or a baloney and cheese on whole wheat, and getting it. No fuss, no problem.

8770_discussions.png I went into the deli and was confronted by a menu, hanging on the wall. There was bierwurst, zungenwurst, Lebanon bologna, olive loaf, pickle loaf, pepper loaf, Braunschweiger, bresaola, capicola, chicken breast, chorizo, saucisson, corned beef, chipped beef, shaved beef, sliced beef, cotechino, gelbwurst, baked ham, boiled ham, honey ham, cooked ham, prosciuitto, smoked ham, jagdwurst, krakauer, liverwurst, mortadella, pastrami, praksy, polony, roast pork, finocchinona, pepperoni, sopressata, sulze, turkey breast, smoked turkey breast, veal loaf, garlic bologna, summer sausage, ham with cheese, honey turkey breast, honey peppered ham, etc. For cheese choices, (and remember I am used to American, cheddar, and Swiss), there was Swiss, aged Swiss, baby Swiss, fontina, havarti, mild cheddar, sharp cheddar, Monterey jack, Monterey jack with hot peppers, Colby cream cheese, provolone, gruyere, Colby jack, mozzarella, mild provolone, aged provolone, etc. Then, for breads

I was a lost ball in tall weeds. I read the menu through, not having any idea what most of it was, stood in line for a bit, trying to decide, and got to the counter. Whaddayawant? asked the guy at the counter.

Uh, I said, all at sea, Id like a ham and Swiss cheese on whole wheat.

The man pursed his lips in impatience, Ya want smoked ham, honey ham, baked ham, boiled ham, cooked ham, ham and cheese loaf? Which one?

What? I smiled, No country ham? Just give me honey ham, please. There were just too many choices.

Ya want baby Swiss, aged Swiss, new Swiss? His fingers drummed on the cash register impatiently.

Uh, I said, Uh, baby Swiss.

Bread? he asked.

Whole wheat, I had an answer, but it wasnt good enough for him.

8771_discussions.png We aint got any. Read the menu for Chrissake! he said, impatient with my stupidity. You and me both , I thought.

Uh, I said, go ahead and help the next guy, and Ill come back around. So I went to the back of the line to try and figure out breads.

After reading the bread choices, I really wasnt any more educated than when I started, but had picked something that might work. Presently, I got back up to the front of the line.

Now, he said, Whaddayawant?

Proudly, I said, Id like honey ham and baby Swiss cheese on a hoagie roll.

Mayo? he asked.

Yes, please I answered.

What kind? he asked.

What kind? I asked, bewildered. Wasnt mayo just mayo?

Read the menu for Chrissake! And he tapped on the sign above.

Ok, help the next person, and Ill come around again, I said, all at sea yet again. Mayo? There are kinds of Mayo?

Finally, I found the mayonnaise section on the menu There was curry, lemon, sweet, light, mustard, jellied, herbal, etc. Golly, I thought, if I keep going like this, Ill never get anything to eat . After a few minutes, I got back up to the cash register. By this time, I was lightheaded with hunger.

The man gave me an evil look, and, drumming his fingers on the cash register, said, NOW whaddayawant?

I looked him in the eye, and said, I would like honey ham and baby Swiss cheese on a hoagie roll with sweet mayo.

He cocked his eye at me, and punched buttons on the cash register. Lettuce? he asked.

Yes, please, I said.

What kind? he asked.

I dont care! YOU pick! and I gave him a look that would stop a clock.

He shrugged his shoulders, and said, OK. I think he was tired of dealing with me. I know I was tired of dealing with him.

Make that two, I said. Charlie was probably hungry, too, and Id better grab food while it was in reach.

8772_discussions.png Thatll be $18.78, he said, putting his hand out for the money. $18.78? My Gosh! I thought. At home, you could get six sandwiches for $20, and have change left over I handed him a twenty dollar bill, and he handed me the change, pointing to a large jar that said, Harolds Sweet Kosher Dill Pickles, on the label, and TIPS on the glass. TIP? Youve got to be kidding! But I meekly dropped my change in, if only because I may have to come back there for food again. My choices were obviously limited. I got my sandwiches, bought a couple of cokes out of the machine, and made my way back to the well field.

Fred was leaving as I arrived, going home to get some rest, and would return to relieve me at midnight. He said that I was not allowed to stay out there all night, just until he got back, and that Charlie, (who grinned sheepishly), sitting in one of two rickety lawn chairs, would help me. I was not to worrythe friends were gone, the punks had been run off, and everyone knew I was out there. He said the police may stop by to make sure I was ok, but I was not to be afraid. Dont be scared! he admonished me, and left.

Well, I turned to Charlie, somewhat subdued, of course Im not afraid if I have a friend with me. You want a sandwich? Charlies eyes perked up. Here, I said, I hope you like ham and cheese. You wont believe what I went through to get this!

We munched companionably together, and Charlie, who finished his sandwich in about 2 minutes, told me about his family as I chewed thoughtfully. I am a slow eater to this day. He was married to Stella, he explained. Dannys secretary? I asked, and he nodded. Ah, another piece of the puzzle. Stella didnt want me out here at night with her husband. Like I was going to hornswoggle him into a quickie in the well house. In a strange way, it was kind of sweet. She thought he was unbearably good looking, (and Charlie was a nice looking guy), so how could I resist? Im Just Not Up For This , I thought. But Stella doesnt know that.

I nodded as he told me about his two kids, their extended family, their cat, their apartment, and his life. I told him a little about my life in Owensboro, my house, my dog and cats, my family. No real history, just companionable chat. We measured and sampled the wells on time, and chatted amiably, splitting up to measure and sample, until about 7 pm Then, out of the blue, in the darkness SCREEEEEEECH!

Charlie jumped up and looked wild-eyed, the lawn chair clattering to the gravel. Dont worry, Charlie, it is just an owl, I told him. Nothing to worry about. Scared the liver out of me the first time I heard it, but it is just an owl.

Charlie chuckled, and sat down with trepidation. Really, Charlie, it is OK, I said. It scared me, too, when I first heard it! I thought that someone was being murdered out here! But, once I saw it was just an owl, it was ok. It is a big white owl. It must live up in these trees somewhere.

Im supposed to be taking care of you! Charlie said.

Well, you are! I told him. It is very frightening out here by yourself. It isnt so bad when you have a friend with you.

8773_discussions.png Just as Charlie was beginning to settle down, a big black car, silently glided up to the well house where we were sitting, and a man with a big hat got out of the passenger side. He gently shut the door of the back seat of his car, the driver a stolid lump in the front seat, and carefully picked his way over the gravel toward us. I stood, walked to meet him, my hand outstretched, How do you do, sir, I said. My name is Marsha Talbot.

He took my hand and shook it, one quick shake. Im Tony Cabinerarri, he said. He was a nice looking business man, in his black overcoat and hat. He had a pencil thin mustache, and a nice, if chilling, smile.

The pleasure is mine, sir, I said, and stepped back a little. He was like a large lump of radiumhe emitted a faint, but deadly radiation I am very sorry that we disturbed your parents last evening. We will be out here for three weeks, measuring and sampling the wells, sir. I hope that we wont bother your parents. We will be very quiet, I assure you.

He looked at the well house, the set-up at the well through the open door, and at me, taking it all in. He reached some kind of internal decision and touched the brim of his hat, No, Im sure you wont disturb them. We may stop by, from time to time.

You are welcome to visit, any time, sir, I said. He nodded, walked back to his car, climbed in, and was silently driven away, never to be seen again-- by me, anyway.

Charlie was sitting next to the well house in his lawn chair, stricken. Dont worry, Charlie, I told him. We sort of met last night.

Is it time for another measurement? Want me to take Well #3 and the monitoring well up by the bramble? I asked. He nodded, at a loss for words. We continued measuring and sampling, every hour, becoming more comfortable friends.

8774_discussions.jpg About 10 pm, the police came, slowly driving up the lane. I walked down to them, Gentlemen! Such a pleasure to see you this evening!

Officer OMalley smiled, You look much better now than last night!

Thanks to your care of me! I said. Thank you so very much for checking on us. I have a friend with me this evening. We have another crew coming at midnight, so please dont be alarmed if you dont see me here. I dont think anyone will bother us.

Officer OMalley chuckled, They wont. Goodnight.

As they drove away, Charlie asked, So, we are guarded by both the police and the friends?

I smiled at him and said, Yep! Aint life grand?

Charlie looked doubtful, and I said, Whatever you see out there, just accept it, and well be ok. No one wants us to cause a ruckus out here, and nothing will harm us. And no matter, what, Charlie and I looked him in the eye, I will not let Stella be a widow-woman. I promise. It is much easier to be brave when you have someone to be brave for .

He laughed, a little sheepish, and then I asked, Is there ANY place to get some food around here? Besides a deli that costs an arm and a leg? A grocery? A take-out place? Anything?

I dont live around here, he said, I dont know. Youll have to ask Fred. I heaved a sigh for the hometown groceries with their aisles stuffed with food, the restaurants on every corner of the big business district

We sat together in the lawn chairs that threatened to give way, chatting amiably, measuring on the hour, until Fred returned to relieve me.

Thanks for coming by!

Links:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9


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Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I had NEVER heard of half of this stuff, and what I had heard of, like liverwurst, didn't sound too appetizing. I was lucky to get anything at all to eat, so I paid the darn tip and that was that.

Note: the sandwich was no larger than what I could get at home, either. I've seen pictures of deli sandwiches that I could make 2 meals out of, but this was NOT it.

Tony Cabinerari, and that's not his real name, was chilling, if nice. It turned out that he really liked me, but I didn't know that. I was, frankly, scared of him.

Thanks so much for coming by! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

BTW, what is prosciutto? I mean, what kind of animal produces a prosciutto? I'm sure it is here, somewhere in Louisville, but I've not seen it much, except as listed on pizzas in the fancy restaurants... I'm STILL all at sea as to what most of that stuff is...

Smile.gif

 
 
 
Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty
Freshman Silent
link   Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty    11 years ago

I believe it is ham or pork of some kind... I thought it was cheese for the longest time till one of my freinds ordered something made with prosciutto and it came .. I was like, Where's the cheese???

Got laughed at, but that is ok I am used to it!

Great, now yu've got the mob, the police and every one except a deliman at your service. And you were scared.

 
 
 
LoneRanger01
Freshman Silent
link   LoneRanger01    11 years ago

Once i was in a small south western town in WY doing someworkfor Western Geophcial...I had a box of grits sent up from GA,regular grits not instant, and taught the lady who owned the resurant how to properly cook them for me. When I ordered my grits for the first time the rancher sitting behind me asked the waitress what grits were. She proudly began to eaplain to the old man excatly which part of the pig the grits came from,...lol....it was the first time in my life i had ever choked on my own grits,....24.gif 24.gif 24.gif 24.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

That mob guy, aka Tony Cabinerari, was pretty deadly... I'm not used to all that. If there is a mob in KY, I don't know it. But, of course, we have the Kentucky Militia. Frankly, I'd rather have the Mob!!!

Pork, that makes sense. Is it like a sausage? or reconstituted ham? Spicy?

I get laughed at all the time. For all my great age, I'm pretty naive, and ignorant about stuff, still... And the more I learn, the more I realize just what I don't know! Smile.gif

Thank you for coming by! With all the excitement going on, I thought this would fall off the face of the earth! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

WHAT a riot! 24.gif

I've tried to explain it, too-- ground hominy, isn't it? I Hope? Anyway, they look at me as if I've lost my mind... They take corn and soak it in lye, then wash it, grind it, and cook it.

I LOVE grits 'n honey!

Thanks so much for coming by-- too much going on today! 3.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Thanks, all of you, who have come by-- faithful and loyal!

We're going to Hazard this weekend to visit my step-daughter, so I will next publish on Sunday night or Monday. I've been trying to save these to a pdf file, but not having any luck!!!

Take care, my dear friends! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    11 years ago

I just had to post that!

I know that deli. It's was a rip off! And now I have to do this:

I'm in a silly mood!24.gif

 
 
 
Charlie Courtois
Freshman Silent
link   Charlie Courtois    11 years ago

Dowser, what a great story. Being a New Yorker, and having grown up eating in a deli I was laughing the whole way through. The "whatda ya want" is always gruff sounding, rude, but not meant to be. It's just a New Yorker.

He could have asked you if you wanted it kosher? Or, blessed...

I just started a twelve part story-series of my business escapades. So, far not a soul has stopped by to sample.

Ciao!

cbc

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Where is it, dear Charlie? Is it on the front page? Be sure to publish things on the front page!

I'm so glad you understand!!! I was FLUMMOXED by all the choices. I could have sat and read that menu through over and over and over and not understood it all... I had never heard of most of it!

Thanks so much for coming by!!! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I love them both!!! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Charlie Courtois
Freshman Silent
link   Charlie Courtois    11 years ago

Hi Dowser, If you go to my home p

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Charlie, your front page is set only to show your comments... I can't find it!

Can you leave a comment on it, so it will show back up on the front page?

Thanks!!! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Charlie Courtois
Freshman Silent
link   Charlie Courtois    11 years ago

Here is the URL

Just cut and paste this.

If you had gone all the way down on my page all 10 of my blogs are listed. Plus PICs and my information, etc.

There are two sets of comments, and I don't know why; but, the BLOGS are sandwiched in between. At the top the story is listed too, but it has their truncated URL.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I left a comment, dear Charlie-- I'll try to go and explore more!

I'm sorry, sometimes all these different pages, (like mine), are confusing!

Much love to you! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Charlie Courtois
Freshman Silent
link   Charlie Courtois    11 years ago

Thanks a bunch Dowser.

 
 
 
Leotie
Freshman Silent
link   Leotie    11 years ago

Why Dowser, you little scamp! I never knew you had such an adventurous life. WOW. Now I'm gonna have to go read this whole saga, which is going to be a pure enjoyment.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Golly! Back then, I was a lot more adventurous than I feel now... Smile.gif

 
 

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