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The Saga, Part 3 -- NASCAR Racetrack, Here I Come, Doo-dah, Doo-dah

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  dowser  •  11 years ago  •  24 comments

The Saga, Part 3 -- NASCAR Racetrack, Here I Come, Doo-dah, Doo-dah

Before I get too far along on the Long Island Expressway, let me explain something. My small city had one four-lane road through the middle of the city, and a four-lane bypass, with no traffic on it. I had driven in a few other large cities, but I was not used to a lot of traffic. What I saw zipping along the Long Island Expressway was nothing less than absolutely terrifying!

8830_discussions.jpg The light turned green, and someone behind me immediately sat on their horn. I'm going, I'm going, and gave the Cadillac destroyer the gas. It leapt ahead with the eagerness of a Great White Shark pursuing prey. Halfway up the ramp, I began looking for a break in the traffic, to cram this monster machine into. There looked to be a tiny spot right behind a red pickup truck. Accelerating to reach the merging speed of 70 mph, I got up even with the back of the truck, and began what my father always called, "The St. Louie Crawl". This is where you ease out, ease out, ease out, just enough that someone slows down a little and then you WHIP right in the spot! But, I had to hurry, because I was running out of merge lane. Fast.

The Caddy had power under the hood, so there was no problem accelerating, but at about 50 mph, it began to shudder. The faster I went, the more violently the car vibrated, until it felt as if someone was hitting the steering wheel with a jack hammer. I hung on to the steering wheel grimly, perched atop my purse and briefcase, and "St. Louie Crawled" into the tiny slot behind the truck. The car behind the truck sat on its horn, and slowed down just enough for me to Whip! inthe unmarked ladder hanging over the back of the red truck missing my windshield by inches. Ladder? Where did that come from?

8831_discussions.jpg Horns blared all up and down the lines of traffic, protesting my entry into the line. My car was sandwiched between the ladder sticking out of the back of the truck in front of me, inches from my windshield, and cars on all sidesand we were speeding along at 70 mph, without a hair's breadth between us. If I could have spared an arm to roll down the window, I could have easily touched the car next to me. That ladder really frightened me, so I eased up off the gas, to the cars behind me blaring their horns.

Nothing let upthe pressure of the traffic was relentless! Every time the car jolted, the steering wheel was nearly bounced out of my hands, and at 70 mph, there was no margin for error. I barely had time to think, "This car needs a balance job!" before the car next to me began to ease into my lane, then back. The driver of the car didn't really look like an evil speed demon, just a normal guy going home from work, but how could anyone remotely do this every day?

I was afraid to take my eyes off that ladder in the truck ahead of me, and was afraid to move my head for fear my monster car would follow my view into another lane. Glancing in the rearview mirror, I couldn't even see the grill on the car behind me, it was so close. The car was shaking so badly, if I moved my hands on the steering wheel, I would probably lose my grip, so I gritted my teeth and hung on for dear life. Signs whipped by and there was city all around me, but all I could hope for was surviving this madness.

8832_discussions.jpg The Indianapolis 500 couldn't be this intense I thoughtand just then, the brake lights of the cars in the lineup ahead flashed redly and I eased up on the gas pedal. WHOOOO Stop! Everyone in my line of traffic slowed immediately and braked to a full stop, tires squealing and cars sliding sideways. I glanced in the rearview mirror again, and took a quick detour onto the side lane of the road, just in case. Whipping out from behind the red truck, I ended up sideways, half in and half out of the lane of traffic, with the nose of the car behind me at my passenger door, heart pounding. The man gave me an evil look and sat on his horn again.

Slowly, the traffic in our lane sorted itself out, and we were immediately back in the 70 mph race with death again, the ladder hanging over the hood of my car, and the guy behind me warming my back bumper. After thirty minutes of this, my hands were like claws from gripping the steering wheel, my arms were numb from the vibration, and I was exhausted. Finally, I saw my exit sign, and turned my blinker on to let old bumper warmer in the back know I was getting off this ride from hell. He immediately sat on his horn again. There was the exit ramp! Thank God, I might add.

8833_discussions.jpg I shot down the ramp, braking as quickly as possible to get from ramming speed down to city street speed. Just at the bottom of the ramp was a stop light, and it turned yellow about half way down, so I stopped beneath the red light, and waited to catch my breath. My whole body was shaking. My hands were locked around the steering wheel. I couldn't seem to be able to get enough wind, and I was very grateful for that traffic light. The light was about to turn green, when a policeman came out to the middle of the street, and started blowing his whistlestop! My line was supposed to wait. Thank you, sir , I thought, I need the breather.

The guy behind me stuck his head out of the window of his car, yelling at me to move my 'arse', and other wonderful words to the effect that I was a moronic idiot for obeying the policeman-- I was a son-of-a-beech, etc. In my rearview mirror, I could see him. He was a taxi driver. I sat there, waiting for the policeman, and the cabbie continued to loudly berate me, screaming and shaking his fist at me.

8834_discussions.jpg Sometimes in life, I just get fed up, and this was one of those times. I had HAD it! A Mustache had wanted to injure me, I had to wheedle my way into a pre-paid rental car, and had barely survived the demon speed killers of the expressway, while sitting on my purse and my briefcase, and trying to drive a Monster car that kicked like a mule. And, this nut thinks I'm going to break the law right in front of a policeman just because he is in a hurry? I'm in a rental car, for heaven's sake! I can't afford to buy this thing! I got out of the car, slammed the door, and walked back to the cabbie. He looked stricken, suddenly. Did he think I was going to shoot him?

"Sir," I said, my voice shaking, but very loud, all the same, my southern accent decidedly at odds with my surroundings, "The policeman told me to wait. I will move my car as soon as he tells me that I can. PLEASE STOP HONKING THAT HORN! "

I turned and walked back to my car, opened the door, climbed back up on my briefcase/purse perch, and waited for the policeman to tell me when I could go. The policeman had watched the entire exchange, expressionless. With a deliberate firmness in his white gloved hands, he tweeted his whistle at all the lines of traffic, making them all stop. He then bowed to me with the grace and elegance of a troubadour, and ushered me out onto the street. He nodded as I passed and tipped his hat, and then turned to the cabbie, "Tweet tweet! Tweeeeet!" He made the cabbie wait, and let me go. Hah! Just desserts!Thank you, sir!

8835_discussions.jpg But of course, I had turned the wrong way. I was supposed to go the Long Island Sound side of Long Island, rather than the Atlantic Ocean sidebut something had Gone Wrong. When I got to the end of the road, and no hotel in sight, it dawned on me that I could see forever, so this HAD to be the wrong side. That was the Atlantic Ocean! The Ocean! If I sat up straight, I might be able to see Paris! When you live in the interior of the continent, and find an edge to it, you sometimes feel that the entire continent is balanced on your headI sat there for a moment, thinking of the weight of the US tipped over my head, then turned around and picked my way back the way I had come. By this time, the sun was setting on this long day, and I just hoped to find the hotel.

8836_discussions.jpg Never have I seen so many houses, small shops, cars, and just cityall jammed together. Every other street or so was a traffic light, and as I waited, I could see what the city looked like. There would be a couple of blocks of stores, restaurants, and shops, then four or five blocks of houses, all spaced so closely together I could not see how anyone could possibly paint one without splashing the other. Cars lined both sides of the street, packed so tightly together, their bumpers touched. How could anybody get out? Where did the children play? Where were the birds? Doesn't anyone have dogs here? Where do they play? I missed my dog with a sudden sharpness. Wish you were here, Max.

Finally, I made it back under the Long Island X-way, (the nice policeman gone), and onto the other side, headed in the right direction. Many of the street names looked like familiar friends, their counterparts in my little home town not as tightly packed, but they were nice little houses. On one front porch, a cat bathed on the front stoop. They were good people, then, just like all of us at home. A little knot of worry eased in the back of my mind.

Every square inch of ground had something on itconcrete, building, car, sign, bench, mailbox, power pole, or vendor. An occasional house proudly displayed a handkerchief of lawn, carefully tended. There were a few trees, here and there, but not many. People walked down the sidewalks, bustled in and out of houses and shops, crossed the streets in a huge mass, pushed strollers, and generally went about their lives as if they had all the space in the world. To me, it was mind-boggling in its enormity and density. I had never seen so many people, all wedged together!

8837_discussions.jpg After several wrong turns, I finally found the hotel, stuck in as an afterthought on a block filled with shops. It looked very pleasant and was supposed to be The Place to Stay in Great Neck. There was a spot in the parking lot for my destroyer car, and, in the darkness, I carefully managed to pull into the spot without scraping anything on either side, or running over anything. A small miracle in and of itself!

I checked in with a minimum of fuss, thankfully, but looked at the daily rate of my hotel room and got yet another shock. $90 per night! I had never imagined such a thing, (you have to understand that my house payment back then was $180/month.) I got my key and a cart, ran out the parking lot, unloaded in record time, (people get mugged in parking lots in NYC), and managed to transport all the boxes and bags up to my room. $90 a night! People up here must have some real money...

I opened the door to my room, and turned on the light. A sea of cockroaches ran away from me in the dim overhead lightit looked like the whole floor was moving! They ran into every nook and cranny, disappearing into cracks that I couldn't even see. I had never seen so many bugs! Not that we don't have cockroaches at home, we do, but mainly the cockroaches I had seen were individual bugs on a missiongiant three inch long creatures that busily crossed the hall in front of me at work, unconcerned with my presence, on their way to a meal. I tugged the cart into the room, turning lights on as I went in. The room had a kitchenette, a double bed, and a long couch. It was pleasant, looked clean, (other than the bug infestation), and comfortable. I turned on all the lightsapparently 20 watt bulbscarefully checked the bathroom for Norman Bates, unloaded my stuff, and sat on the bed, my legs suddenly weak with relief.

Whew! What a day! I still had to set my watch to NYC time, turn in the hotel's cart, find somewhere to eat, study the map and get acclimated, call home, bathe, get organized for tomorrow, and shop--obviously for bug spray and light bulbs. Then, tomorrow, somewhere in all this jumble, I had to find the water company office, meet my clients, get the pumping test set up to start on Wednesday, and generally get organized. Maybe tomorrow, I could find some time to actually see something of the city but NOT if I had to get back on that horrible expressway during rush hour! This must be why they have subways...

Thanks for coming by!

Links:

Part 1

Part 2


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Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Somewhere along the way, I found that I was definitely a fish out of water... the one comforting sight-- the cat on the porch, made me feel SO much better!

After writing the part about the Expressway, I was out of breath and my heart racing... Just remembering it was stressful! I don't see how on earth Perrie did that Every Day. GOLLY!

Hope that you enjoy this! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty
Freshman Silent
link   Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty    11 years ago

Whenever I tell people I am from New York, the city erupts in their heads. I have to redirect their attention to the Adirondack Park. Up there. You see? No roads, woods.

Then I grew up and started hopping around the country, ended up in Seattle for quite a while. There they don't fly like they do in NY and Chicago, everybody slows down, and slows down, and.... stops.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Much better speed! I could never keep up-- walking, talking, ordering, driving, or whatever! I just went along at my own pace, and everyone was impatient with me.

It's much nicer here, as far as running around. And, too, I had never seen so much humanity packed into an area! There was literally something on every spot, and acres upon acres of concrete. I felt very claustrophobic in the city-- only in the well field, did I feel at all normal!

New York state is beautiful, truly beautiful! But, EGADS, is it expensive, compared to home-- and the taxes, unbelievable! WHEW!

Thanks so much for coming by! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    11 years ago

Dowser , here is a phrase for you to become familiar with :

1. New York Minute

A New York minute is an instant. Or as Johnny Carson once said, it's the interval between a Manhattan traffic light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn.

It appears to have originated in Texas around 1967. It is a reference to the frenzied and hectic pace of New Yorkers' lives. A New Yorker does in an instant what a Texan would take a minute to do.
I'll have that ready for you in a New York Minute

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

LOL! That's the truth!

I never knew people honked their horn so much! I was doing my best to keep up! That man behind me was pure evil, and that cabby! He did shut up, but GOLLY.

Smile.gif

 
 
 
Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty
Freshman Silent
link   Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty    11 years ago

It is good sometimes....

In the morning I could drive the twenty miles to work in half an hour. In the afternoons, it would take me 1-1/2 to 3 hours to drive the same distance.

I could never keep up-- walking, talking, ordering, driving, or whatever! I just went along at my own pace, and everyone was impatient with me.

Ha. My kindergarten teacher called me pokey... and I never failed to disappoint (her)!

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    11 years ago

Just another day in center city Philadelphia.

 
 
 
Larry Hampton
Professor Quiet
link   Larry Hampton    11 years ago

Great account Dowser and thanks!

For some reason, I got about halfway through this and started hearing the theme song from the Mary Tyler Moore show...

The Mary Tyler Moore Show Opening and Closing Theme 1970 - 1977 from TeeVees Greatest on Vimeo .

:~)

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Compared to the people in the area, I was definitely a poke-- but at home, I was thought of as a speed demon... It's all a matter of perception, I think... Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I love this song! Always have!! Thanks, so very much! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I always loved Mary Tyler Moore! She was tall and beautiful! I'm not... ;-)

All I had going for me was enthusiasm, and a smile... Smile.gif

 
 
 
Larry Hampton
Professor Quiet
link   Larry Hampton    11 years ago

Well Dowser you are petite and beautiful!

All I had going for me was enthusiasm, and a smile... Smile.gif

....and brains, tenacity, courage...

:~)

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

9.gif Thanks so much! I was prettier back then, but certainly no beauty! Tenacity? Yep. I was going to be a geologist or die trying, for sure. (As you will see in the further episodes...)

I don't think I'm courageous at all! And not all that smart, unless I'm concentrating on something...

I was determined to make a living and not be put into a mold, like everyone else. I was going to do what my heart told me to do-- and still do that. My heart lay in finding water for people to drink. I have had an enormous about of joy and pleasure from that! I still love it, all these years later, and still have to fight to be able to do it. Smile.gif

Thanks, Larry! You are very sweet, and I really appreciate your kindness!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    11 years ago

I remember the first time I drove on the LIE. It is one of the scariest roads to travel and back then it was even worse. We have since added some lanes to get that car to car feeling a bit more distant, so to speak. So I can't imagine how you must have seen that road, given that you don't have one near you, nor have you ever had to deal with it.

BTW.. it is a well known fact that you are supposed to beat cabbies with baseball bats back then.. but that is a whole different story!

Well, I am not sure if those are your pics Doswer, but from the look of it, I know that hotel. It's on Northern Blvd and is now closed. Now that I know about the roaches, I know why it's closed.

But we do have beautiful waterfront!Grin.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

It's CLOSED??? Oh my, when I looked for a picture of it, it came right up! I even checked the daily rate a couple of years ago, just to see if it was still so out of sight-- and it was...

The LIE is absolutely terrifying to someone who was not at all used to traffic. Everyone griped about Pittsburgh traffic, Hah! Everyone griped about Nashville's traffic, HAH! All the big cities that I had been to up to that point, but the LIE topped them all for sheer terror... I honestly don't see how you survived!

Oh, about the cabbies. as in, OH! I guess he thought I was going to beat him... I was past caring if I scared him, but just wanted him to shut up-- STOP calling me names, you creep, I'm doing the best I can!

Those cockroaches were an infestation-- and imagine charging for a fully un-eqipped kitchette room. Who could use it? I couldn't find food and they had nothing to use, anyway...

There is a lot about it there that is beautiful-- and a LOT of wonderful people there... Be sure to read the next one, about the Greek family that I loved so much!

Love you, dear Perrie! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    11 years ago

Speaking of New York minutes :

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

I noticed FOOD STALLS. They didn't have those in Great Neck when I was there! I nearly starved. I went from 95 lbs to 85 lbs and looked like a cadaver when I left! BOY, I would I have loved that food! Smile.gif

New York is really a pretty place-- I enjoyed my time there!

Thanks for the link!

 
 
 
Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    11 years ago

Yikes ! That's > 10 % of your prior bodyweight ... You must have been very stressed out .

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Too much hard work-- the monitoring wells were way up in the hills, and had only winding little paths to get there. Plus little food. and the constant measurements every hour for 3 weeks, really took a toll!

I was exhausted-- it took a couple of weeks to get my strength back, to continue, but months to gain the weight back...

As much fun as it was-- a lot of it was lonely, cold, and unending... :-)

But, when we're young, we think we'll live forever!

Take care! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    11 years ago

OK so I am now dying of curiosity. What was the name of the hotel and where was it? With that many roaches, I want to warn people, LOL!

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

Gosh, this was 30 years ago.... The Great Neck Hotel, I think. Smile.gif

 
 
 
Leotie
Freshman Silent
link   Leotie    11 years ago

113.gif I drove in traffic like this for 9 years. People forget about the turn signals on their cars and fling their arms out the window pointing at the ground, and if you don't slow down, you get hit, specially if you're driving a cab! I would never be that rude to someone though. That was totally uncalled for.Frown.gif

Can you tell I love the smiley's on here?

 
 
 
Leotie
Freshman Silent
link   Leotie    11 years ago

Perrie! Please don't beat the cabbies. When I was driving I had some kid come up to my car and smash the windshield with a baseball bat then to add insult to injury, he shot me the bird!

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   seeder  Dowser    11 years ago

LOL!!! I do too!

I don't see how you did it, and that's the truth... Remember too, that we had one 4 lane road in town, plus the bypass, and that was it. I had never seen anything like this! Smile.gif

 
 

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