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LAUGH - About the Three Preachers Joke

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  charlie-courtois  •  11 years ago  •  15 comments

LAUGH - About the Three Preachers Joke

8911_discussions.jpg

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to
the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper
Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk
shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all
that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would
all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found
him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.
So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ....circumcision may not have been the best way to start."


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Charlie Courtois
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Charlie Courtois    11 years ago

What's new?

Nobody wants to be circumcised...no matter the reason. I think this can be told in mixed company!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    11 years ago

Don't worry Charlie,

The Rabbi only worked for tips.

Jesus wascircumcised andbaptized and no one came homemaimed, LOL.

 
 
 
Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    11 years ago

This is why they only do it to infants as far as I know ... Very funny bit !

 
 
 
Charlie Courtois
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Charlie Courtois    11 years ago

N. Cognito...my neighbor had one a month before he died of lung cancer. So, the Docs will do what ever the symptoms call for...not funny ha ha. My wife, who is a retired nurse, about stroked out when she heard that they did the procedure when Hospice was on their way in to care for him. That was really a first!

Think about what Paul was up against in Turkey, Greece, and the rest of the Middle East. His pals in Israel wanted the Grecian, Turkish, Italian, and Syrian, et al, to be Baptized and Circumcised to be Christians....

A tough sell, but he finally got the Pharisees to give up on the circumcision as a condition for joining the church. Decided at the first Jerusalem Council, I think.

 
 
 
Charlie Courtois
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Charlie Courtois    11 years ago

But, what about the bear!

 
 
 
Charlie Courtois
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Charlie Courtois    11 years ago

That say it all....quite well. Ciao!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    11 years ago

Well, I think he might have had a bit of a shocker there. LOL!

 
 
 
Larry Hampton
Professor Quiet
link   Larry Hampton    11 years ago

Ha! That's hilarious!

I got one for ya...

A older preacher and his rather cantankerous and difficult wife went on a trip to Jerusalem to see the holy lands. While there, the preachers wife passed. The Jewish coroner gave the preacher two options. We can either have her body transported back to the US for about $5000 and she can be buried there or for about $150 we can bury her here in the Holy Land. Without hesitation the preacher responded, Lets have her sent back to the US, please!. Amazed, the Jewish coroner replied, But you could save so much money and then think about how special it would be to have your spouse laid to rest in the Holy Land of all places! To which the preacher responded with much fervor, LookI know very well that 2000 years ago a man was buried and raised three days later from the grave. You might not believe it but I do, and I am not going to take any chances on this one!

 
 
 
Larry Hampton
Professor Quiet
link   Larry Hampton    11 years ago

ATT000141.jpg

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.'

'Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you

may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped,

and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to

atone. You cannot be an altar boy now
for 4 months. Now you go and
behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides

over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'

'Four months' vacation and five good leads ...'

 
 
 
Rixar13
Freshman Silent
link   Rixar13    11 years ago

"Looking back on it, ....circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Priceless... smile Smile.gif

 
 
 
Nigel Dogberry
Freshman Silent
link   Nigel Dogberry    11 years ago

A true story. I am sure of it.

 
 
 
Nigel Dogberry
Freshman Silent
link   Nigel Dogberry    11 years ago

That's a good one.

 
 

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