Update About My Crazy Life
This is my first time writing about my life here so bear with me. I don't write about my life to complain. It is therapeutic for me. Please be gentle with your comments as this is very personal for me.
First off I recently found out that I am diabetic. This may very well turn out to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. I've never had any will power, and I'm not good at watching what I eat. I'm even having problems with checking my blood sugar everyday. Sometimes I forget, and the rest of the time I don't bleed enough so I have to keep pricking myself. This requires a total life makeover, and I just don't think I'm up for it. Really I'm kind of angry about it too. I feel like I have enough to deal with. I didn't need this too. I know it doesn't do me any good to feel that way. It just is what it is.
Then there is all the mental illness in my family. That's actually the hardest part of my life. I come from a family with a history of mental illness. Then I have depression, anxiety, and OCD, my husband is schizo-effective with bipolar, my son is bipolar (among other things still being determined), and my step-daughter may have ADD (we are going to have her tested as she is having trouble in school).
The biggest thing in my life right now is my son. He is 15, and in residential care due to his behavior. He's been gone for about a year and a half. His behavior is just awful most of the time. It always has been. He is about 3 hours away from me, and I hardly ever get to see him. I do get to talk to him on the phone once or twice a week. He recently came out as being gay, and he also got his nose broke by another resident (he apparently kind of deserved it though). His nose was broken so badly that he had to have surgery to correct it. I didn't even get to be there for his surgery. I felt so bad.
Well that's all I can think of for right now. I will update you every so often as things occur. Please feel free to comment, or ask questions. Just be gentle.
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Thanks for listening.
Thanks for sharing.
No problem. It's what I do best.
FU, We never know what the other guy is going through, do we? Diabetes is always a spooky diagnosis. My A1c has been 6 now for maybe 3 years and there has been no change. It's only thought of as pre-diabetic and is controllable through diet and exercise. I just got a glucose testing kit and I will start testing myself to see how my diet is working. Golly, I love potatos, pasta, rice and bread. My hobby is baking our own bread and this is the shits, for sure, because I am a really good pasty chef. Also, I began specializing in cooking authentic Italian foods - pasta pasta pasta - several years ago and I am now famous. Everyone is always inviting themselves over for supper and we bring 'em on in. Cook up a little more and there you go. Yes, the changes are going to be huge for both of us. You and I are going to have to start walking more and faster. Go FU, go for that brisk 30 minute walk every day.
Sorry to hear about your son. I have been following your comments for maybe a year now and I know this is being really difficult for you. He is only 15 and just a kid still. He has a while to go and much of his behavioral problem will be resolved as he gets older - that is if he wants to get it together. Time will tell and there is nothing you can do about it . Got that? Nothing you can do about it. Now you can quit worrying. Yeah, right. I work fairly hard at not worrying about stuff I can do nothing about and I am usually fairly successful.
Hang in there, old girl. You are doing ok. Just resolve that you are not going to let diabetes get you down. We can do it. I went to the American Diabetes Assn. web page and signed up for the Living With Type 2 Diabetes program. Lots of useful information there, recipes and all kinds of stuff
. You are not going to let this get you down, are you?
Thanks for sharing,...lord knows I amnot the person who shouldbe giving advice to anyone,...More people than not believe that my elavator doesn't go all the way up tothe top floor and some times it comes down a little too fast,...
But I live or treat my life as one big dventure, always trying to find the good that is in the bad.....soon you stop seeing the bad and enjoy the good in things......
So you're going through it too Grump? Well I'll be. We just have to do it! I'll try not to let it get me down. I just need to try harder. As far as my son goes, I will try to take your advice and not worry. It'll be hard though. Thanks for your support Grump. It means a lot to me.
Thanks LR. I think your elevator is just fine.
I try to look for the good in life. It's hard sometimes though.
WOW! I'll privately contact you on Monday or Tuesday to give you some help. I have a few ideas on the diabetes that might help you.
I got that there pre-diabetes. Not a real problem - yet. I think I can head it off at the pass. My BMI index says I should weigh 160. I weigh 175 now. My doctor says If I can get down to 165, my A1c should come down to normal and there will be no diabetes. That's a relief but I sure do like to eat good, well made food.
There is a low carb, high protein wheat flour that I am still looking for. Maybe I could do my baking with that. I need to call the ADA and see if they know what the brand is and where I can buy it. I called them last week and they are really helpful.
Well I wish you the best of luck. I love food too.
Ok. Thanks Neale. I'll await your message.
Feddy,
You have so much on your plate, I feel really bad for you. I know how hard it is to be a parent, but having a child that is a clinic so far away, is very upsetting... especially since he had a medical problem.
But most important is that you should take care of yourself. You need to take care of your health needs for yourself and so that you are there to take care of your family. A mom is the glue to any family. It might sound old fashion and maybe it is, but I have found that this is often the truth.
Be well my little cavy friend. You know I have your back!
I agree that the mom is the glue. I think without me my family would fall apart. Actually I know this is true. Thank you so much for your support Perrie. It means more to me than you'll ever know.
And I echo what's already been expressed ... keep us posted; being able to communicate with friends is therapeutic in many instances.
Yes it is very therapeutic. I will keep you all posted.
Fed - you have a lot going on. I'm sorry to hear all this but you seem to be doing a great job of handling it. My sister was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago and as long as she makes sure she eats when she's supposed to she is doing fine. She did lose about twenty lbs when she first found out and I think that helped some too.
Now about your son - well I also have a son and I went though very similar situations with him when he was 13-16. I took him to a therapist and she helped him a lot. He also broke his nose fooling around. Silly boys. But the good part is they grow out of it. Yay!!
After he decided to grow up he got his diploma, then went back to college (in between he was a policeman and a fireman - who would have thought!!). He is about to graduate from college and has held his job for nearly twenty years.
Growing up for him was really a challenge and for me too. So I know how you feel about that and I wish you and him the best in figuring it all out. Usually growing up helps a lot. For you and him.
Let us know how things go....
(((Feddy))) I have faith that you will come through this, you've taken a huge step by sharing your story. And look...we're all here for you! You know you can come to me or any of us any time...we have your back (love ya kid!)
(((Uppy))) Thank you so much for your support. I love you too.
Thank you for understanding Soovie. I really appreciate it. I'm trying to handle it all well. I will keep you posted.
I'm sure you will do great Fed. I can remember a day when I came home from work to a police car out front. I asked my son what he did and I told him you better tell me before she (the cop) gets to the door. He ended up going to court but we lived through that.
At the time though Fed I felt like it was never going to end. One day it will be better for you too.
Gosh I sure hope you're right. It's just that he has always been different. I do hope he grows out of some of it. I'm glad you got through it too. (((Soovie)))
My son was 'different' too. At times I thought I was gonna lose my mind with that kid.
It will work out though Fed it just takes time. I know though at that age time moves very slowly.
((((Fed))))
Thank you very much for the hope Soovie.
Hi Feddy,
I am so sorry to hear about all your difficulties... I hope writing helps you... Do take care of yourself, the side affects of poorly managed diabetes are not good.
[Mal leans against Feddy with a big Malamute hug...]
Thank you for coming by Mal. I really appreciate it. Writing about it does help. I will try to take care of myself. (((Mal)))
Feddy,
Hang in there and know that you have friends in Minnesota who are sending much good wishes, karma and prayers your guy's direction.
Thank you very much Larry.
Fed, there is so much to your article that I will be leaving more than one reply. First of all, I'd like to address your son coming out as gay. I really Thank God thatthis is not the stigma that it once was. So many people had to hide that in the past. Gay or Straight, we are all just the same, in my opinion. What we do in the privacy of our dwellings is just that..........private. So, I really never think about it. I hope one day we will have a world where all ways of being are accepted and respected. That's the dream..........
Take care for you do have a lot going on right now,
Love ya, Kara
I agree Kara. That is the biggest reason that I didn't want him to be gay. So many people will dislike him. But I guess there's nothing I can do about that. Thank you so much for coming by to show your support.
I guess people will have to live with themselves in how they accept your son. There could be a lesson for them in that eventually. That would also be the dream.........
I tend to think that in a lot of things, people are born a certain way and there's just no way around it. I've heard that most kids know at a pretty young age that they are gay, and that is the case here for your son. He may have always known and at 15 everything goes in slower motion so it may have seemed like an eternity for him to have to hide it.
As a mother though, it sounds like it is an extra worry for you as to how he will be treated. I certainly do understand that.
I agree with you. I just hope no one tries to hurt him. That is my worst nightmare.
Wow, I see your point here. I'm so sorry.
That's ok. It's just something I have to live with.
Oh Fed? What a very heavy load you carry. I'm so sorry to hear about all of these things, especially to such a swweet person like yourself. If you need to talk, please just e-mail me. I don't know if I can be of any help, but I am a very good listener. ((( Fed )))
Oh that is so sweet of you to offer. I may just take you up on that sometime. You're a great friend.
Anytime !! That's what friends are for!
((((((((Rescue))))))))) Thank you for your support. It mean a lot to me. I find that writing about it does help me. I just hope I don't bore you all too much.
Thanks Mickey! That's just who I am. I've always been a love me or leave me kind of person. People can either take me as I am, or not at all. It's worked out alright for me so far.
I also can not work. I'm currently applying for disability. Actually I've been turned down twice already, and I'm appealing it again. It's been an exhausting experience. Hopefully I'll eventually get it. In the meantime my financial situation is horrible, but I feel I'm doing all I can do.
I take medicine too. Just about my whole family does. I've sought professional help since I was around 11. Back then it was my OCD that bothered me the most. Eventually my anxiety got worse, and then my depression.
I agree that writing/talking about it is very therapeutic. I've been writing about it for awhile now, and even though I was a little afraid to at first I've gotten a good response.
Thank you for being so open about your struggles too. I really appreciate it. I wish you good mental health.
Thank you so much Rescue. I agree that we don't have to see each other face to face to be there for each other. ((((Rescue))))
Thank you Neetu! (((Neetu)))