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Some of the fun of being older than dirt!!

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  tsula  •  12 years ago  •  5 comments

Some of the fun of being older than dirt!!

SERENITY

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied... 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Smile.gif

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. I have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.24.gif

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. Smile.gif

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?'

'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week' Tongue.gif


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Tsula
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Tsula    12 years ago

I'm in here somewhere but trust me this is no treasure hunt!! 24.gif 24.gif 24.gif

 
 
 
Feddy
Freshman Silent
link   Feddy    12 years ago

These are so funny tsula! Grin.gif

 
 
 
Feddy
Freshman Silent
link   Feddy    12 years ago

Gene you're a riot! lol Grin.gif

 
 
 
Tsula
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Tsula    12 years ago

Thanks! I always figure that when I can no long laugh, particularly at myself, that the game is up!Grin.gif

 
 
 
Tsula
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Tsula    12 years ago

This works best if you are living in the corn belt. Other than that, the best you can hope for is to be blown into someone's eyes and really be irritating! Grin.gif

 
 

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