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Some really bad puns

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  the-irascible-harry-krishner  •  13 years ago  •  19 comments

Some really bad puns

1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

(CONT"D)


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Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    13 years ago

Wow , what a surprise . Science & math jokes [5 to 7] . I wasn't expecting that !
The rest of them were real groaners but its not like you didn't warn us ....

 
 
 
Jonathan P
Sophomore Silent
link   Jonathan P    13 years ago

There was a housepainter who constantly ripped off his customers by diluting the paint with water, but charged full price for the job. After a while, he began to feel guilty about his exploits, so he prayed to G-d for guidance. After about a week of praying, he got no answer, so he began to implore the Lord to answer him. Suddenly, the voice of G-d came from above with the answer to his pleadings.

And G-d said, "Repaint, repaint. And thin no more!!"

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    13 years ago

Good One Jon!

A rope who sees a sign in a bar prohibiting ropes from entering the bar, decides to give it a go. He take the top of himself and makes a knot. The he frayed the top and parted it down the middle. He then walked into the bar and sat down on a stool. The bartender takes a look at him with a suspicious eye and says, "Hey, aren't you a rope?" To which the rope replied, "Nope, I'm afraid not"

 
 
 
Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    13 years ago

I think the proper way to kill off these bad puns is to put the thread into the
columnist's list . That is where all formerly successful threads go to die ...

 
 
 
Jonathan P
Sophomore Silent
link   Jonathan P    13 years ago

oy.

You should be sent to the punitentiary for that one.

 
 
 
Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    13 years ago

In my defense I would like to point out that this thread has been remarkably
unsuccessful . My thinking is that this thread is the exception to the thread graveyard .

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    13 years ago

I beg to differ. It's had 14 views and 7 comments. I've written things that have seen less action....

You should be sent to the punitentiary for that one.

Chinese fortune cookie says, he who flies upside down had crack up!

 
 
 
Jonathan P
Sophomore Silent
link   Jonathan P    13 years ago

Man who fart in church, sit in own pew.

 
 
 
Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    13 years ago

"I beg to differ."

But you agree that the columnist's list is the thread graveyard ?

 
 
 
Jonathan P
Sophomore Silent
link   Jonathan P    13 years ago

Man who keep hands in pockets, feel cocky all day.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    13 years ago

But you agree that the columnist's list is the thread graveyard ?

Well, maybe it belongs there... but it lives on!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    13 years ago

Ewww! LOL!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    13 years ago

Talk for your self Buddy. I seem to be missing the device.

 
 
 
Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    13 years ago

OK . Then it needs to be aged a bit before it is sent to "G-d's waiting room" .

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Krishna    13 years ago

Good one, Jonathan P!

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Krishna    13 years ago

There used to be a lot of "An atom walks into a bar" type of jokes. If I find them I'll post them.

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Krishna    13 years ago

OK-- here's one of the first hits:

So an atom walks into a bar. He's in tears as he tells the bartender, "I lost an electron."
"Are you sure?" asks the bartender.
"I'm positive."

A neutron walks into a bar an orders a drink. He asks the bartender,"How much?"
"For you, no charge."

A helium atom walks into a bar. The bartender tells him, "We don't serve noble gases here." The helium atom doesn't react.

A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender ask, "What can I get you?"
The neutrino responds, "Nothing, I'm just passing through."

An atom walks into a catholic parish. The priest tells him, "Your kind is not welcome here."
The atom responds, "But without me, how can you have mass?"

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    13 years ago

Rich must be having anorgasm. LOL!

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Krishna    13 years ago

C'mon-- you can do better than that. That one really stinks!

 
 

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