The Great Equalizer
Yesterday afternoon, my daughters got some terrible news. A friend of their's, Erica Halpern, who was going to Drexel University, was hit by a car, while crossing the street talking on her cell phone with her mom. She was only 19. Her sister, who is a year younger than my daughters, got the awful news in school. And so the grieving began. All last night, kids came and went from my home, all grieving in their own way. For most of them, it is the first time that they have to face mortality. A peer has died and they now have to face up to the fact, they that they are not immortal.
I had this sobering moment, when I was in my junior year in high school. Two of my friends, were killed in a freak auto accident. I remember not only the great sense of loss, but also the frightening realization, that teens do die. Three weeks later, another friend died of leukemia. It was the final nail in the coffin for me, both actually and mentally. My childhood was officially over. The reality that life isnt fair, that it is hard, and good people die, all came crashing down on me. So I understand where these kids are coming from. This reality has hit them, too. And whether they knew Erica well or not doesnt really matter. They have learned one of lifes toughest lessons.
On sites just like this, we all argue over our points of view, as if our lives depend on it. I surely doubt that it does. It is a distraction, a way not to think about the truly deeper questions to life. Because no matter where you lie on the political spectrum, at the end of the day, we are all just flesh and blood and that is the one thing that we all have in common. The other is death, the one thing that we all must go through. So, yes, will still argue out points, rich or poor, left, right or in between, but lets not ever forget, that we are all joined together by flesh and blood and our final destination, which is the great equalizer.
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Sorry to hear this news, I wish her family well. It is asoberingexperience when death touches our lives. So I ask myself this question since we all die and we all have to live with theknowledge that after all our struggle we aredestined to die. What is the purpose of life? Do we just do our best and die like the rest of all living things and that's it. I mean how can one live with the fact that we all perish? Have we no hope? There has to be more!
Peace to your family and theirs, Perrie. There are no adequate words.
A. Mac
Perrie, sincere condolensces to your girls and family.It's especiallydifficult to lose someone so young, unexpectedly. For the peers left behind, it can be a shocking jolt of reality.Sometimes those 'jolts' result in positive changes,a change in perspectiveon life, responsibilities, family, and re-prioritizing what is important. I hope that out of this tragedy,good things emerge within the hearts and minds of those that Erica left behind.
In the grand picture of life and death, the disagreements and wranglings hereinare miniscule matters.
Arch Man,
These are such tough question and I have been struggling with them for most of my life. When I was a child, I would lay in bed and think about notexistinganymore and I would freaked myself out. Then I had to figure out if there was more to life than after this, otherwise, I wouldn't have children, because I didn't want tocondemnthem to nothingness. I gave this much thought. What would be the purpose of living if there was nothing after this... and so I took a leap of faith, and had kids. I guess it's my way of saying that I think that there is something more after we pass. I am just not sure what.. but I believe that there is. And I hope that Erica is there, at peace and happy.
Perrie I think that is what makes us unique that we can ask the question: what's it all about? Ibelieve that God built that into us to ask why and to begin our search for answers.
Gene,
I very much get what you are saying. I am not sure if there is something after this, but we all can hope so. I'm not sure if it is the way that religion says it is, but I do think that we carry on past this life in some other form. At least I hope so.
There are times when all the world's asleep,
the questions run too deep
for such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am.
Thanks Mike.
That was really from the heart and that really means a lot to me. It has been a very long day, and the worst is yet to come on Monday for her family.
That is an awful story about the young man you knew. You wonder what would make a person so young want to do that. I'm sure it leaves all wondering what did they miss.
It's true that we accept these things more as we have to face it more. In youth we seem to be very much in touch with our feelings and life seems to dull that. Maybe, it's a blessing in disguise.
Thanks Mac.
I don't know if you heard of Erica's death on the news there in Philly. She was a student at Drexel. A very bright and talented girl. She worked with my daughters on Stage Craft in high school. She will be very missed. My heart goes out to her parents and sister.
Thank you very much Randy. It is really Erica's family that needs everyones support.
It is very hard to understand the death of someone so young. You wake up one morning, and never in your wildest dreams, would you think that was going to be the last day that you wake up. It is frightening to the children, and it is every parents nightmare.
Thank you very much for your kind words.
My girls are shook up, but my heart goes out to Erica's Family. I can't imagine what they must be going through.
But it does make you realize what is truly important in life. Sad that it takes an event like this to remember this.
A profound article about very sad events, Perrie. I am so sorry for you and your family, Erica's family, and most especially, Erica. I am reminded of something I heard recently... "All in, all the time." Perhaps Erica's gift to us (and yours, Perrie) is to remind us that we all need to appreciate life NOW... no waiting... for none of us know when our time or the time of our loved ones will come.
So very true Mal. I actually googled her this morning, and saw that she had a "Linked in" account. It said expected date of graduation 2015. I got all choked up. She dreamed of a future that was never to be her's. I can't imagine how her family feels. It does put things into perspective.
I did not see it on the news ... probably better off as the coverage of such events often are short on the human tragedy and long on the sensationalism.
Perrie, I am so sorry to hear about this. Sad for your girls, Erica's friends, and for her family.
It is a hard realization that teens can and do die. When I was in high school, we had at least one classmate die each year. Mostly due to car accidents. My little brother experienced the same thing when he went through high school. I think the worst one was a girl that was in my brother's grade that died in a car accident right before their freshmen year. Her mother was driving the car and went off the road, killing the daughter. This was hard for my brother for all the reasons you mention in your article. It was hard on the girls mother because the accident was, technically, her fault. She never recovered; she never left her house again and just a few years ago, killed herself.
Anyway, my thoughts are with your girls and Erica's other friends and family.
Oh Summer, what atragicstory that was. It is hard for some people to accept that accidents do happen, and they are just that, accidents.
As a parent, we all worry about kids and driving. We recall our close calls. My daughters still don't have their licencebecausewe don't feel that they have had enoughexperienceon the road, but we know it will be soon, and I am sure that we will be gray after that.
Thank you so much for your kind words for Erica's family. This is a small town, and I am sure someone has come across this by now and I hope it helps and not hurts.
I heard about this story just today.. I too am a student at Dexel and the unfairness of life just hit me..
On all accounts this girl was a amazing person. yet she died before even age 20.. and here I am, 26yrs old, completely alone and with no real will to live, no real goal in life.. Just going through the motions of life for the heck of it.. I people do not like me and I really do not even care of them either.. on all accounts I am a non-entity in this world..
yet I live while ppl like her die.. wish i could just switch places with her..
Dear GearHulk,
You are only 26 years old and you have a whole life ahead of you. It is very hard these days to be a young person. I know that you might feel like you are gong through the motions, but you will find your own footing. It comes to different people at different ages. It took me a long time before I knew what to do with my life, and I used to say, when I was your age, that I was uncomfortably numb. I don't know your family situation, but I am pretty sure that there are people who do love you, even if it isn't always evident.
Don't give up on life. I am sure Erica wouldn't want you to either.
Please feel free to contact me on this sites message system, if you would like to talk and also feel free to comment here on any article. Be you, be honest, and you will find your voice.
(((((gearHulk)))))