IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Found Out I'm Jewish in My Mid-Twenties
IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Found Out I'm Jewish in My Mid-Twenties
By Danielle Austin-Herb February 8, 2016 12:00 PM
My exploration of my roots has been an interesting journey, to say the least. I'm 26 years old, and for most of my life, I was unaware that I was Jewish. My mother was never told about her Jewish heritage. My grandmother kept it a secret; I’m not even sure my grandfather, her husband, knew.
My mother-in-law graciously got my husband and I the AncestryDNA tests a couple of Christmases ago. I've always wanted to do this because my father was adopted and knows very little about his family or ancestry, and because my mother’s family was never very forthcoming about theirs. I did some searching on ancestry.com , but it didn’t really get me anywhere.
So, my husband and I spit our phlegm into our separate vials and hurriedly sent them off for testing. The results take about two or so months to be processed and posted, so we kind of just forgot about them until we both got an email informing us that our results could be viewed. My husband’s results came out as he more or less expected, a little Western European, a little Scandinavian, etc. But mine, however, did not. The moment I got my test results back, I was left speechless.
Some of it I expected, like English and Scottish, but some of it I didn’t, like Caucasian — not “white,” but rather someone who is from the Caucasus region, an area between Europe and Asia, where countries like Armenia, Georgia, and Azerbaijan reside — and Ashkenazi, or European Jewry.
I was shocked, to say the least. How could I be Jewish?
My family set about doing some digging into our Jewish background. My mother spoke with one of her sisters and found out that she had documentation on my great-grandfather, my maternal grandmother’s father, that said he was a Jew from Germany. Why hadn’t we seen this documentation on our family history before? Well, my mother’s side of the family loves each other very much, but their communication is close to nonexistent. My aunt had kept these documents in boxes in her basement, and her seven other siblings, including my mother, knew nothing about them.
With this documentation in hand, we also found out that my great-grandfather and his family escaped from Germany during the 1930s, which, of course, was at the time when Hitler and the SS party were on the rise. He and his family left for obvious reasons, and thank G-d they did — I might not be here if they hadn’t.
It’s weird to grow up not knowing you're Jewish, learning about the Holocaust in school, all the while never knowing that your family were and are the people most affected by it. They were there, and they were terrified, and they fled their homes in order to escape persecution and death.
After my great-grandfather came to America as a teen, he grew up, got married (also, we think, to someone with Jewish ancestry) and told his children they were Jewish but that this was not a good thing. He was scared, of course, for himself, for his family, for his people, so he coped the only way he knew how: he hid his ancestry and religion from most people, and instructed his children to do the same.
I would never, ever claim to intimately “know” or “understand” the Jewish experience, in large part because I grew up in ignorance of my heritage, and therefore did not really experience what it was like to grow up Jewish in America. I’ll never know that reality, and therefore I do not feel like it is mine to claim, despite my genetics. I grew up with parents who did not really practice any religion, but leaned towards Christianity, because my grandparents are somewhat Christian, though they do not practice their faith, per se (they believe, but don't really attend church or anything of the sort). I consider myself religious, and did at one time semi-regularly attend church, as my husband is Catholic.
Even now, when I tell people that I'm part Jewish I hear things like, “Oh, that makes so much sense, you know, because you’re careful with money,” or "You don’t look Jewish! You’re so pretty,” or "Really? That sucks.” People I know say that like it’s somehow okay. I’ve been Jewish (or known to be) for, like, five seconds and I’m already hearing messed-up stuff.
One time I got, “But you’re only part Jewish, so you’re not really Jewish,” which is their opinion, I guess? But according to halakha, Jewish law, I would technically be considered fully Jewish because I inherited my Jewish ancestry from my mother. However, the issue of who or who not is a Jew is a highly debated, nuanced issue in the Jewish community, as I've recently learned.
I know something like this can either greatly affect one’s life or not really touch it in anyway, but most of the time I feel somewhere in-between. I’m still struggling with how I feel about this information. I kind of feel like, Oh! It's so amazing that I am part of such a fascinating, amazing group of people, but I still don't feel a part of that group. Or I do in some ways, but not in others. I don’t know where I stand spiritually. I don’t know what, if anything, I should do with this information.
As time goes on, though, I do feel Jewish, and I have embraced it in many, many ways. I observed Hanukkah this year, and it was a beautiful and meaningful experience for me. I've talked to a couple of rabbis and fellow Jews, I've read books and blog posts on it, and I've visited Jewish museums and temples in order to try to get a better understanding.
I'm really grateful to my family and for this amazing opportunity to explore Jewish culture. I'm excited to see where this road takes me, and no matter if I begin to practice Judaism (I am highly considering it, actually) or not, my family’s life has been shaped by the fact that we are Jewish, and we will never be the same now that we know.
https://news.yahoo.com/happened-found-im-jewish-mid-170000863.html
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This article caught my eye because I have a very similar story. I found out very recently that I have Jewish roots through my great grandparents on my mother's side. I didn't know my great grandparents and my mother never spoke about them even though they raised her. In fact she was raised Roman Catholic. It seems my family also hid their heritage. I find that kinda weird but that tells me I have a lot to learn.
Can't you fix those roots with Lady Clairol ??
Are you, by any chance, one of them who's trying to take away our guns?
Well - since you brought it up.... I was speaking with Ted last week and this all started over a misunderstanding. He wanted to show me his shotgun but I thought it looked more like a pistol so he got all bent out of shape and started this completely false rumor. He wishes I wanted to take his guns! hahaha
Did you ever find out anything other than your linage?
She's circumcised ??
Not yet. I had heard quiet rumors that we had Jewish blood later in my adulthood but just really received confirmation. My story is a little bit complicated. I never knew my biological father. He and my mother split when I was very young and my mother never interacted with her family so I never had the opportunity to know them before they passed away. It's a little weird that she never spoke about them but I think there was a falling out when she "ran away" with my bio father. I didn't even know my grandmother wasn't my maternal grandmother until i came home from school one day and walked in to find that my mother had dyed her hair grey...but it wasn't my mom, it turned out it was her mother Ruth. I was around 17 at the time. I'm still finding out things about my family.
I'm really just starting but so far I've found that my family roots derive from Western Europe; Middle East, and Great Britain.
This will take some time since my mother didn't stay connected and much of her family has passed away. She's ready to put the puzzle together so hopefully we can find some time to get together and work on it.
I wuuld be curious to know when you may have told your friends and others that you have Jewish lineage, whether their attitude towards you changed.
Your story is not that uncommon. During WWII, when Jews were being rounded up and sent to the death camps, many parents of young children left their children with Christian familties in order to save their lives. Many of those children were brought up in the religion of their "adoptive" parents, and never discovered their true religion.
Well, my husband was thrilled and for all the typical stereotyped reasons. He said - You're really good at making and keeping money and you're a shrewd negotiator. I was like.....uh, thanks? My youngest thinks it's cool. But I still don't like Mr. Netanyahu and you can't make me!!! hahahaha
But I still don't like Mr. Netanyahu and you can't make me!!! hahahaha
Lots of Jews don't like him.... Even in Israel, LOL!
"really good at making and keeping money..."
The Chinese admire Jews for that reason.
"Jesus Saves - Moses Invests"
Great story. As Buzz stated this was not uncommon during that time period.
Self preservation-there were lots of people in the U.S. that were anti-Jewish (still are some) back in those days. And I'm sure people were afraid, especially with the U.S. taking a hands off approach to Europe, that anti-Jewish zealotry might rule the day. Thankfully it did not and does not today, though there are still plenty of bigots to go around.
Congrats on finding some of your roots.
It's a lot of fun, discovering your "roots". I had an uncle, (my great grandfather's brother), who was a "feather bed renovator". Meaning, he was a con artist. He hid bugs in his pocket, and when he inspected the feather bed, he 'discovered' the bugs-- then charged to renovate the mattress... By the time I came along, he was always tactfully spoken of as being dead. Probably by then, he was... (He was born in the late 1860s.)
Then, my German great-great grandfather was touted as a coal miner, by those in the family that didn't know. He was a farmer, who was a professor of Music at the Freiburg School of Music in Germany. He had 8 brothers and sisters, and none of them survived. No idea why, and would love to know... I have a part of his wooden flute. They were one of the branches of Lutheran...
It's really neat that you found this out! Our family's histories are always an interesting journey!
I had Dean searched through a "roots" service , and it turns out he is three quarters African American. Now that he knows, will he adapt his NT commentary ?
I trusted you to keep that information confidential. : (
I had a similar experience. I found out that My Grandmother was Jewish when I was in my mid forties. She fled Germany as a child with her family; then, they changed their name when they reached America. We knew she was German, but not Jewish until years after her death, when the last uncle died, and the family received Grandma's diary. Although we are grateful for knowing the truth, we now have even more questions now, than we did before.
Glad you found this article Larry. I was going to suggest you check it out.
My brother is an only child and my parents moved away before I was born so I have no idea about my lineage. Having children is hereditary so if your parents never had any, you probably won't either.
All 8 of my mother's great grandparents were born in Ireland. My dad's mother was Irish and his father was Irish , Dutch and German. Who knows , maybe there was a touch of Jewish way back when in there somewhere. Never looked into it and didn't have much interest. My family just sees ourselves as Irish-American.
hmmmmm......Irish. I can see that.
It's all good.