US Presidents: 30 great one-liners
09 Mar 2016
Gallery compiled by Martin Chilton
US Presidents: 30 great one-liners
'My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.'
John Fitzgerald Kennedy (35th President), 1961-1963. President Kennedy, nicknamed JFK or Jack, was assassinated on 22 November 1963 in Dallas.
'If I were two-faced – would I be wearing this one?'
Abraham Lincoln (16th President) 1861-1865
'It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure why take the chance?'
Ronald Wilson Reagan (40th President) 1981-1989
'I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket.'
Lyndon Baines Johnson (36th President) 1963-1969
"There is a homely old adage which runs: "Speak softly and carry a big stick, you will go far."'
Theodore Roosevelt (26th President) 1901-1909
'When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two and I didn't like it. I didn't inhale and I never tried it again.'
William Jefferson Clinton (42nd President) 1993-2001. President Barack Obama later quipped: 'When I was a kid I inhaled. That was the point.'
'Do you realise the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House'
President Kennedy talking during the 1960 election campaign. He is pictured here, as President Elect, in 1960 in Miami.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK, 35th President), 1961-1963
'There will be no whitewash at the White House'
Richard Milhous Nixon (37th President) 1969-1974. Nixon resigned in August 1974 before he was impeached over the Watergate scandal, when officials from his 1972 campaign authorised a break-in at the Democratic Party's National Commitee offices. Tape recordings proved Nixon was involved in a cover-up.
'Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt'
Herbert Hoover (31st President) 1929-1933. President during the Great Depression.
'How is it for you, Harold? I get a terrible migraine headache if I don't have sex at least three times a day'
(how Kennedy shocked Prime Minister Harold Macmillan, pictured above in 1962, with his question)
John Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK, 35th President), 1961-1963
'My opponents misunderestimated me.'
George W Bush (43rd President) 2001-2009. Bush is seen here in an awkward moment during the 2001 Thanksgiving Presidential Turkey Pardon.
'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself'
Franklin Delano Roosevelt (32nd President) 1933-1945. The President whose 'New Deal' tackled the Great Depression.
'Washington DC is twelve square miles bordered by reality'
Andrew Johnson (17th President) 1865-1869. The President who bought Alaska from the Russians.
'I guess it proves that in America anyone can be President.'
Gerald Ford (38th President) 1974-1977. Ford is seen here in May 1975, on the phone with United States Secretary of State Henry Kissinger during the Mayaguez Incident. He is the only president not elected to office of Vice President and President, having taken over following Richard Nixon's resignation.
'You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.'
Harry S Truman (33rd President) 1945-1953. Truman is pictured here with the infamous copy of the 1948 Chicago Tribune, published early on election night, with the mistaken headline DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN.
'The truth will set you free but first it will make you miserable.'
James A Garfield (20th President) 1881. Garfield lasted just 200 days in office, dying from an infection from a gunshot wound. He had been shot in July 1881 by a Washington lawyer called Charles Guitea, who was bitter about not getting a consular post. The images above are from a Madame Tussauds waxworks and a cartoon showing Republican Garfield and his Democratic oponent General Winfield Scott Hancock
'You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.'
Abraham Lincoln (16th President) 1861-1865
'I will never apologise for the United States of America – I don't care what the facts are.'
George Herbert Walker Bush (41st President) 1989-1993. Bush is seen here with his Defence Secretary Dick Cheney in 1989. Bush's son later became president
'I can't deny I'm a better ex-President than I was a President.'
James Earl Carter Jnr (39th President) 1977-1981. The last 14 months of his term were marred by his failure to solve the Iran hostage crisis in which 52 American staff were held in the US embassy in Tehran. They were realeased on the day he left office. For his subsequent work over human rights he was awarded the 2002 Nobel Peace Prize
'I know only two tunes: one of them is Yankee Doodle – and the other isn't.'
Ulysses S Grant (18th President) 1869-1877
'An atheist is a guy who watches a Notre Dame-SMU football game and doesn't care who wins.'
Dwight David Eisenhower (34th President) 1953-1961. Eisenhower, Supreme Commander of the US in the Second World War, is pictured here with Winston Churchill in 1945
'I was actually black before the election.'
Barack Hussein Obama (44th President) 2009-
'This is a Government of the people by the people and for the people no longer. It is a Government of Corporation by Corporation and for Corporation.'
Rutherford B Hayes (19th President) 1877-1881
'I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency – even if I'm in a Cabinet meeting.'
Ronald Wilson Reagan (40th President) 1981-1989. Former Hollywood actor Ronald Reagan found it difficult to pay attention during meetings and usually had a jar of jelly beans at hand.
'It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one'
George Washington, 1st President (1789-1797). Known as the founding father of the US.
'Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.'
Harry S Truman (33rd President) 1945-1953
No one ever listened himself out of a job.'
Calvin Coolidge (30th President) 1923-1929.
He is pictured here in April 1928 about to throw out the ball on opening day for the Washington Senators
'Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?'
George W Bush (43rd President) 2001-2009
'It was involuntary. They sank my boat.'
(asked how he became a war hero)
John Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK, 35th President), 1961-1963
'I'm not opposed to all wars. I'm opposed to dumb wars.'
Barack Hussein Obama (44th President) 2009-
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/authors/us-presidents-30-great-one-liners/us-presidents-30-great-one-liners28/
Quotes Pending on the outcome.........
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Ran across this today. Some I had forgotten about and are quite funny. Anyhow, I followed up the quotes with pictures current Presidential Candidate with a challenge. What do you think they're quotes would/should be. You can pick one or more candidates or just post a comment. All is welcome.......
Priceless! "Is our children learning"...some people need a grammar lesson! You could probably do a whole article just on "Bushisms" lol
Not just Presidents either Pj. About twenty years ago there was some public concern about literacy in the Southern California area. To respond to the concerns, the President of the Board for the Los Angeles Unified School District put out the following notice to all staff members:
NOTICE
It has come to my attention that the students in this District are graduating without being able to properly read and write. Starting immediately, there will be no further iliteracy permitted in the Los Angeles Unified School District.
NOTE: The text is just as he wrote it. Can you spot the problem?
I think I can, but am embarrassed to say in case I'm wrong...
Ask yourself whether ILLITERACY would bother you.
Yup. That's what I was thinking... As in, Get a Brain, Morans...
NOTICE
It has come to my attention that the students in this District are graduating without being able to properly read and write. Starting immediately, there will be no further iliteracy permitted in the Los Angeles Unified School District.
NOTE: The text is just as he wrote it. Can you spot the problem?
Is there anyone here who can't? It's just a very simple spelling mistake. Other than that, the President of the Board is biting off more than he can chew, so to speak.
A number of years ago I was in Nanning, Guanxi Province, and happened to meet a young English teacher from the USA. We were talking about places in China we had visited, and he said to me: "Oh yes, we was there." What then went through my mind was "Oh, my God. This man is teaching English to Chinese children." Ever since then I have displayed a cartoon at my desk of a man asking a woman: "Are you the new English teacher?" to which she replies: "Yes I are."
Well I'll give this a shot....
"Put this (helicopter) on the ground! I left my sunglasses in the limo. I need those sunglasses. We need to go back!"
-- Hillary Clinton from Air Force Lt. Colonel Robert Patterson's book Dereliction of Duty.
"In Vermont, at a state beach, a mother is reprimanded by Authority for allowing her 6 month old daughter to go about without her diapers on. Now, if children go around naked, they are liable to see each others sexual organs, and maybe even touch them. Terrible thing! If we [raise] children up like this it will probably ruin the whole pornography business, not to mention the large segment of the general economy which makes its money by playing on peoples sexual frustrations."
-- Bernie Sanders 1969 essay in the Vermont Freeman — as quoted in "You Might Very Well Be the Cause of Cancer": Read Bernie Sanders' 1970s-Era Essays, by Tim Murphy, Quoted by Mother Jones (6 July 2015)
"If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America."
-–Donald Trump
Quite humorous!!! Thanks!
One of my favorite quotes is from Calvin Coolidge. When confronted by a DC hostess, who said, "My husband bet me that I couldn't make you say more than two words", Coolidge replied, "You lose."
Not quite Presidential but Vice-Presidential.
"The Vice Presidency isn't worth a bucket of warm spit". John Nance Garner 1940
Since Mr. Garner was both former Speaker of the House and a Texan, there is some question about whether the word he actually used was spit.
Are you saying that the people of Texas don't use toilets?
Not only do they use them John, they're smart enough to figure out what goes in them.
It seems as if Bush had been a student in the Yogi Berra school of phraseology. I don't know why you have to be an American to become POTUS if you can become POTUS when you can't speak English.
Quotes depending on the outcome:
Clinton losing: "It was Monica Lewinsky who did this to me."
Clinton winning: "It was Monica Lewinsky who did this for me."
Sanders losing: "It was all Bibi's fault."
Sanders winning: "Americans must all be socialists at heart."
Trump losing: "I'm fired."
Trump winning: "Just wait till you see what I'm going to build on the White House lawn."