Game of Thrones Season 6’s Best and Worst Story Lines

Game of Thrones Season 6’s Best and Worst Story Lines

From "Hold the door!" to, ugh, Dorne.

by Michael Hogan   June 24, 2016 8:13 am

Courtesy of HBO.

More than most shows, Game of Thrones is divided into story lines. You can tell you’re shifting to a new one when they trade the yellow lens for the blue one, and everyone goes from prancing around in fancy outfits to dressing like garbage-pickers after a volcano eruption. Not surprisingly, some of these subplots are better than others. As Season 6 comes to an end, here’s a rundown of the best and worst HBO and the Seven Kingdoms had to offer this year.

THE BEST

 1 . Hold the Door!
When we look back at this series, certain indelible moments will stand out: Ned Stark’s execution, the Red Wedding, Hardhome, and—I’d wager—Hold the Door. In every one of those scenarios, the good guys lose, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Game of Thrones is great in part because George R.R. Martin and the show-runners have the guts to let truly bad things happen to good people. And when they do, it’s no wonder we all get emotional.

But this one was even darker than the others, when you think about it. Not only did Hodor die to protect Bran and Meera; he also retroactively lost his ability to speak for all of his adult life, thanks to the mind-fucking interaction between Bran’s two supernatural abilities—his power to “warg” into another being’s body in the present, and his power to “greensee” events in the past and future. By warging into Hodor’s body at the same time as he was greenseeing a much younger Hodor well in the past, Bran scrambled the gentle giant’s mind to a degree that defies comprehension. The fact that we all kind of understood what had happened—and felt as if it had happened to a family member—without necessarily grasping the arcane details is proof that this show really is among the finest pieces of entertainment ever assembled.

  2. Sansa’s Revenge
I know several people who stopped watching Game of Thrones after Ramsay raped Sansa on their wedding night last season. And I get it, I really do. Sophie Turner was a kid when this show started, so to ask us to endure something like that . . . well, it’s a lot. One reason I kept watching is that I knew she would get her revenge. Or at least, I hoped she would. I didn’t dare to imagine that it would be this satisfying, though.

Whereas my colleague Joanna Robinson was dismayed by Sansa’s un-Stark-like behavior in feeding Ramsay to his own starving dogs , I was literally cheering. Does that make me a bad person? Probably! But it sure felt good. And it almost justified the torture of watching Ramsay break new records for awfulness on a weekly basis. Rape your wife? Check. Kill your dad? Check. Feed your baby brother to your dogs? Check, check, CHECK! But for that very reason, the entire Sansa story line this season has been satisfying as hell—how could you not be psyched when Brienne led Sansa past the gate at Castle Black for her big reunion with Jon Snow? Sansa has come a long way from her days as Ned and Catelyn’s spoiled brat. Today, she’s a real leader and a little bit of a budding feminist icon. Now if she can just repay her debt to Littlefinger without losing her life, her freedom, or what’s left of her conscience. . .

3. Jon Snow’s Resurrection and Return to Winterfell
I had a very unexpected thought during the gorgeously filmed battle at Winterfell: Jon Snow is my hero. Like, I am seriously rooting for this guy. I kind of love him. It’s not an easy thing to admit, because for the longest time I thought of him as a vacuous pretty boy. Moreover, I fear a lot of you still see him that way. But something changed for me after Melisandre brought him back from the dead. Maybe it’s just the extra ounce of gravitas you’d expect any man to acquire after a short walk through the valley of the dead, or maybe Kit Harington slightly changed his approach to the character, or maybe I’m just losing my edge. But there you have it: Jon Snow is the man. My man.

I knew he was making a horrible mistake by charging Ramsay after he killed Rickon, but what the hell do you expect him to do? He’s a red-blooded Stark! (Or is he?) I am thrilled that Jon has hooked up with the noble, wise, and generally cool Ser Davos, and I want him to marry Daenerys (even if they are half-siblings or whatever ) and rule the Seven Kingdoms. There, I said it. Let’s make it happen, gang. Two seasons to go.

4. Khaleesi’s Fiery Furnaces, Parts I and II
If I wrote a show about dragons, I would not keep two of them locked inside a dungeon for two full seasons, but I guess that shows how much I know about writing a show about dragons. Because it was awesome when Rhaegar and Viserion finally broke out of their prison and joined Drogon in performing laser surgery on a single enemy ship in Slaver’s Bay—an impressive display of discipline that preserved the rest of the ships for Daenerys’s upcoming voyage to Westeros.

If you ask me, that climactic conflagration almost made up for all the boring crap that had happened in Meereen the rest of this season. (More on that below.) The same goes for the fiery death that awaited the stupid, stupid Khals in Vaes Dothrak. That story line was pretty damn choppy up until the moment Dany went all Sissy Spacek on her sexist tormentors, taking full advantage of her unique ability to chill inside an inferno. Worth it, if you ask me.

5. The Hound’s Return
This I did not see coming. When Arya crossed the Hound’s name off her list, I assumed he was as dead as she did. Not so! Turns out killing the Clegane brothers is no easy feat, as Cersei’s detractors in King’s Landing have discovered now that she’s using Gregor’s zombified former corpse as her personal security detail. However he managed to survive, Sandor seemed happy blissing out in a religious commune and chopping firewood for the rest of his natural days—but that never seemed like a terribly likely destiny for the man who once served as the body man and enforcer for wicked King Joffrey. Sandor is a bad dude, but (since his partial reformation) in the best way. So it was strangely comforting to see him take bloody vengeance on the jerkwads who had killed his peacenik friends, and it was intriguing indeed to see him grudgingly agree to become a Brother Without Banners. Can a reunion with Arya be far away?

  6. Jaime vs. the Blackfish
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is a fine actor, and one who deserved better than that dreary business in Dorne last year. So it was a relief when his sexy sister dispatched him to Riverrun on a worthier mission: take the castle from Catelyn Stark’s stubborn uncle, the Blackfish. Jaime arrived to find the Frey-led siege party in tactical and organizational disarray, and it was fun to watch him pull rank on his unwashed allies. (It’s safe to say that none of them could match his taste in gilded breastplates, even if they could afford the privilege.) Even more fun: seeing him re-unite with his old traveling buddy, Brienne of Tarth, who, after a well-earned exchange of googly eyes, tried in vain to return the sword he’d given her.

And while Jaime’s interview with Edmure Tully was less than scintillating, it delivered a clever and unexpected result when the Blackfish’s nephew, his head filled with selfish Lannister logic, agreed to surrender the castle to save his own hide. Oh, Jaime, you’re a naughty, amoral swine, so why can’t we help feeling charmed when you offer a conspiratorial wink to Brienne and Podrick as they canoe back to Stark-protected safety?

7. Sam and Gilly Meet the Parents
As if you can’t tell, I usually like story lines that culminate in an eruption of spectacular violence. I’m only human, after all. But Sam and Gilly’s ill-fated visit to his father’s estate at Horn Hill was so moving and well observed that no bloodletting was necessary to sell it. Here are some things that made it a pleasure to watch: finding out just what a poor little rich boy Sam is; seeing Gilly put on a nice dress at long last (one that apparently took Sam’s mom and sister 11 seconds to locate on her behalf); watching Gilly inform the vicious, witless Lord Tarly that the son he’s so ashamed of might be the only person alive who’s ever killed a White Walker; watching Sam run out of fucks to give and decide to steal Heartsbane, the family’s prized Valyrian steel sword. Wonder who he’ll use it on.

THE WORST

1. Dorne
This was mostly the worst story line of Season 5 , but it’s also the worst story line of the entire series. And since it spilled over a bit into Season 6, I’m including it here as a reminder to us all that you can make the girl hot and you can make her kill, but you can’t make her interesting unless you give her an interior life. Never forget.

2. Arya in Braavos
Look, I am Team Arya all the way. Have been from the beginning. But this story line was a major slog. A girl has a name, a girl doesn’t have a name. Well, a viewer is struggling to give a shit. And watching a blind girl that I really like get the crap knocked out of her by a girl I hate is not my idea of a good time, however much the experience may have sharpened Arya’s night-fighting skills.

The play-within-a-play stuff was probably the best thing that happened in Braavos, since it was fascinating to see how the common people (mis)understood the events surrounding Joffrey’s murder. Hint: they’re not big Tyrion fans! But the subplot with Arya and her actress friend did nothing for me, and there’s no damn way it’s that easy to recover from being stabbed in the ribs. Anyway, color me relieved that she’s getting the hell out of Braavos and presumably returning to Westeros. Time’s a-wasting, and a girl’s got names to cross off her list.

3. Cersei vs. Margaery vs. the High Sparrow vs. Blah Blah Blah
Ugggghhhhhh, the fucking High Sparrow. King’s Landing. This whole mess. The best thing about this story line was the meme that went around proving that the High Sparrow looks exactly like Pope Francis. See for yourself. It’s completely uncanny .

Other than that, this entire ordeal has been hell. I mean, whom do you root for here? Certainly not Cersei! She’s the worst person alive (now that Ramsay is dead). Not Tommen, that ridiculous little shit. As for Margaery, there’s something to admire in her wholehearted commitment to living a lie in hopes of serving some ice-cold revenge way down the line. But that doesn’t exactly make her sympathetic. Loras is utterly useless. And the Sparrow! Is there anything worse than a sanctimonious old fraud who uses religion to justify his own power grab? At this point, I’m rooting for the Mountain and the Wildfire. Burn it all down, Cersei . No one will miss any of it.

4. Yara and Theon
Sure, we’re all pleased that Theon has regained a measure of his proverbial manhood. And it was fairly gratifying to see this erstwhile womanizer and all-around douche-nozzle extraordinaire acknowledge that his sister is far better suited to lead the Iron Islands than he will ever be. Furthermore, I did chuckle when Yara made it known that she’d be up to get gay-married, if that happens to be of interest to Daenerys. And yeah, Dany needs ships that haven’t been burnt to a crisp by her dragons, so this is all sort of necessary to the greater arc of the season. It’s all fine! I’m not angry or anything. I’m just not that into it. Maybe the Greyjoy contingent just need better clothes? More soap and shampoo? I can’t put my finger on it, but something’s not working for me here.

  5. Meereen without Daenerys
Meereen with Daenerys Targaryen is a place where dragons swoop down from the sky to take righteous vengeance on evil slave owners who can’t accept that their immoral way of life has come to an end. Meereen without Daenerys Targaryen is a place where . . . Tyrion and Varys have a lot of dry conversations while Grey Worm and Missandei exchange the kind of looks you make when your uncle says something vaguely racist. Let’s get the fleet together and get this show on the road, shall we?

  http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2016/06/game-of-thrones-season-6-best-worst