Candidate Profile: Rick Santorum (Onion)
Candidate Profile: Rick Santorum
Former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum announced his candidacy for the 2016 presidential election on Wednesday, bringing the runner-up from the 2012 Republican primaries officially into the race. Heres what you need to know about Santorum:
- Age : 23 years younger than average supporter
- Birthplace : America he barely recognizes anymore
- Campaign Goals : Keep the rampant liberalism in the Republican party in check
- Economic Platform : More of a social issues guy
- Trademark Look : Suit, tie
- Debate Strategy : Hoping to be permitted to watch from green room
- Hobbies : Searching for intelligently designed life on other planets
- Views On Hardcore Pornography : Included in presidential platform
- Motivation For Running : Kill some time before going to Heaven
- Biggest Controversy : Is presidential candidate
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The reason for two photos of Rick is that one is the real Rick, the other, his evil twin.
No one interested in poking fun at a member of the clown car?
I think the issue here, Kavika, is that no one thinks of him as a real contender. Heck, I can't figure out why he is wasting all of his money.
He's probably wasting other people money Perrie...
The book would be around two pages long.
The only thing I like about Santorium is his sweaters.
His sweaters!!!!, LOL