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Trump Administration to Repeal Bison as First National Mammal

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  krav-maga  •  8 years ago  •  13 comments

Trump Administration to Repeal Bison as First National Mammal

Trump Administration to Repeal Bison as First National Mammal


A satirical view of how Trump might approach an indigenous treasure




WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Trump administration plans to overturn the National Bison Legacy Act, a legislative bill that passed the House and Senate last April that unanimously approved the bison as the first national mammal of the United States. President Obama signed the bill into law.

In a statement to the press Trump said, “Buffalos are tremendous animals, just huge, they’re great with baked potatoes, but we can do better as a nation. I have appointed Donald Jr. and Eric on the taskforce for repealing the buffalos and choosing a better animal. They’ll do a great job, they love animals.”

Donald Jr. and Eric Trump stirred controversy in recent months when the press released photographs of the pair posing with exotic animals they shot and killed during pleasure-hunting expeditions in Africa.

“First things first,” President-elect Trump said. “There’s so much damage to undo. Obama’s work on this country has been a disaster, just a disaster. We’ve got a big job ahead of us, just slash and burn, slash and burn. Make America great again, bigly.”

Before the latest news broke that Trump will likely appoint Rep. Ryan Zinke (R-MT) to head the Department of the Interior, initial reports indicated the assignment might go to former Governor of the State of Alaska Sarah Palin. Trump was interested in former Governor Palin because of her prior experience with the Aerial Wolf Killing Program. “What a tremendous thing the Aerial Wolf Killing Program would be for the lower 48 in controlling the buffaloes and wild horses,” Trump stated.

The bison joined the bald eagle as a national symbol. Both animals represent our nation’s regard for wildlife conservation. Groups tapped in selecting the buffalo as the official mammal were conservationists, ranchers, and the Intertribal Buffalo Council. It is the wishes of the Intertribal Buffalo Council to restore bison to Indian nations to observe and practice their spiritual and cultural beliefs and traditions.

President-elect Trump stated, “If it was just up to me, I’d choose the warthog as America’s national mammal.” When told that the warthog is a type of wild pig found living in open habitats in sub-Saharan Africa, Trump paused, then stated, “Well, the alligator then. They make great handbags. Ivanka sells them, they’re yuge.”



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Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     8 years ago

Smile.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    8 years ago

I'm so glad this is a sarcasm piece!!!  I was immediately thinking-- what a stupid thing to do...  Thanks for the chuckle!

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     8 years ago

The FP needs a laugh Dowser...

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser  replied to  Kavika   8 years ago

Does it ever!!!

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
link   Enoch    7 years ago

Dear Brother Kavika: This is my first cyber smile of the New Year.

Thanks.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     7 years ago

Those darn eagles better be careful as well niijii.Laugh

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Participates
link   Nowhere Man  replied to  Kavika   7 years ago

The Eagle has nothing to worry about, Trump could never reach that high...

Especially if he's buffaloed by the buffalos.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
link   Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    7 years ago

Too funny, Kav.  Thanks for the giggle.  And please don't blame yourself for the angst-induced heart palpitations I had prior to the giggle.  They made the giggle that much sweeter.   

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     7 years ago

'' And please don't blame yourself for the angst-induced heart palpitateions I had prior to the giggle''

I'm innocent I tell ya, innocent.

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
link   Hal A. Lujah    7 years ago

Eagles will soon be farmed like chickens, as a top tier poultry. Coincidentally, Trump Steaks is rolling out a new line of meat products.  It's just a coincidence though.  A good businessman is on top of these things.

 
 

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