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How The Internet Began, According To The Bible

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  kavika  •  7 years ago  •  5 comments

How The Internet Began, According To The Bible

HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, according TO THE BIBLE...
PLEASE DO NOT GOOGLE THIS ONE OR CHECK WITH SNOPES.
THEY WILL LIE TO YOU. TRUST ME!
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy (Dot for short). Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply buying from you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to The People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).



That is how it all began. And that's the truth. I would not make up this stuff!




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Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     7 years ago

Laugh

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser  replied to  Kavika   7 years ago

I love this!

Dear Enoch--- I miss him!

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika   replied to  Kavika   7 years ago

Hence as the internet blossomed a small band of the LTOI (lost tribe of Israel) branched out on their own to form TCP-OTI (the craziest place on the internet).

Welcome to NT

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
link   Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Kavika   7 years ago

What else to expect on this MSN (Meshuggenah Social Network) where the NBC (News Begets Chutzpah)?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    7 years ago

LMAO... Quite Excellent and true, too!

 
 

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