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Roger Goodell's Next Job

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  kavika  •  9 years ago  •  8 comments

Roger Goodell's Next Job
Published September 10, 2014 More Info
Full Credits

Dont worry about Roger Goodell, everyone. He can find a new job if he wants to. He seems like the kind of guy who can do anything.


Roger Goodell, Meteorologist

Anchor : And now to our newest Channel 7 team member, Roger Goodell, here with the weather. Welcome, Roger. Its really coming down out there today, huh.
Roger Goodell : It is unclear at this time.
Anchor : Roger, youre soaked. Did you forget your umbrella?
Roger Goodell : An umbrella will be mandated after the second report of precipitation. And now to the live outdoor Channel 7 weather cam. Oh my god, its raining.


Roger Goodell, Police Chief

7-11 Clerk : Then he points the handgun at my face and takes everything from both registers.
Roger Goodell :
7-11 Clerk : He was probably my height, mid-thirties. Sandy blond hair.
Roger Goodell :
7-11 Clerk : No facial hair. He was wearing a puffy blue coat. Lets see I think he had a scar on his neck
Roger Goodell :
7-11 Clerk : Whats going on? Why arent you doing anything? Do you at least want to see the security tape?
Roger Goodell : Sounds like you were robbed. Tell me everything.


Roger Goodell, Surgeon

Patient : Dr. Goodell, help! I sliced my hand off on a table saw!
Dr. Goodell, MD : Well give you two Tylenol.
Patient : Tylenol? What about re-attaching my hand?
Dr. Goodell : If it happens to the other hand, we will definitely do that.
Patient : But I am bleeding so much.
Dr. Goodell : Wait, you werent filming a home-improvement show or an instructional video or anything like that when this happened, were you?
Patient :What does that matter? No, I wasnt filming anything.
Dr. Goodell : Two Tylenol. Have a good day.


Roger Goodell, Ice Cream Parlor Owner

Billy : I want two scoops of strawberry ice cream in a waffle cone!
Roger Goodell : You can have some sprinkles.
Billy : But I want ice cream!
Roger Goodell : Im sorry. This is your first order. So you just get sprinkles, but we will look into whether we have ice cream.
Billy : I see strawberry ice cream behind the counter.
Roger Goodell : Who are you? Are you from TMZ?
Billy : Im seven years old.
Roger Goodell : You didnt answer my question.
Billy : Yes, this is a TMZ exclusive. Were everywhere now.
[ Billy runs away ]

roger-goodell-nfl-logic.jpg


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Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     9 years ago

A man of many talents. Smile.gif

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     9 years ago

Appeal, appeal.....Smile.gif

IMG_0765.jpg

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     9 years ago

It would be a non partisan move on his part. But than he could appeal. He'd be the offense and the defense...A switch hitter so to speak.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     9 years ago

A PAC was formed just for this purpose...Robert Kraft is the main contributor.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     9 years ago

Now that meme is dead on Feronia.

fire-roger-goodell-meme-1-570x387.jpeg

 
 

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