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Venezuela, N. Korea offer asylum to oppressed NFL players

  

Category:  The Zoo

Via:  badfish  •  7 years ago  •  8 comments

Venezuela, N. Korea offer asylum to oppressed NFL players

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The governments of Venezuela and North Korea came out today offering asylum to those oppressed NFL players who refuse to stand for the National Anthem. 

"We understand how oppressive that song can be and if you accept our offer, you will never have to hear it again," said a joint spokesperson. "We would also invite them to deposit their funds in our banks and invest in our countries. It would be worthwhile." 

The governments also reminded the players that they are still owned by capitalist team owners so we understand their oppression is real.

Meanwhile Nancy Polosi, Charles Schumer and their mascot Maxine Waters have introduced legislation to ban the playing of the Star Spangled Banner at all sporting events. 

A spokesperson for the Democratic party said that the Democrats kneel in solidarity with the players and understand the oppression that the song represents: "We feel that the old Soviet Anthem is more in line with party-approved thought and besides, it has a much catchier tune. Looking at the history of the American Anthem, it was once a bawdy drinking song and is no longer appropriate, considering it was written by a privileged white male."

Maxine Waters added that Trump should be impeached for introducing such an oppressive song.

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Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
2  Sean Treacy    7 years ago

Ha! 

 
 
 
Ryarios
Freshman Silent
3  Ryarios    7 years ago

<snickers>

 
 
 
Cerenkov
Professor Silent
4  Cerenkov    7 years ago

Lol!

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
6  Buzz of the Orient    7 years ago

laughing dude

 
 
 
Ed-NavDoc
Professor Quiet
7  Ed-NavDoc    7 years ago

If the braindead protesting NFL players are stupid enough to fall for that than they should not let the turnstyles hit them in the tail end on the way out at the airport. It should also be made quite plain to them that their citizenship will be permanently revoked as soon as they are out of U.S airspace! And please, take those darn worthless bigoted fools Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and Maxine Waters with you as well!

 
 
 
Ed-NavDoc
Professor Quiet
8  Ed-NavDoc    7 years ago

Forgot to mention above that those poor downtrodden and oppressed NFL players make more money per season than most other people see in one lifetime, so I find it extremely hard to have any sympathy for them whatsoever!

 
 

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