Plans Underway for Trump's Presidential Library and Adult Book Store
Category: News & PoliticsBy: eat-the-press-do-not-read-it • 2 years ago • 33 comments
DISCLAIMER : Adult language and content throw around here! Beware: Or, in your underwear!
If you are offended by words, not deeds, you may want to skip these riveting pages and slither over to a "WRONG WING NUT JOB" DISCUSSION GROUP.
As Publisher & Flounder of the "Less Than Presidigous, Award Adverse", EAT THE PRESS - DO NOT READ It, Don't Read Anything! Ignorance is Bliss is exclusively a serious publication for Morons, no idiots, please.
As the CEO & FLOUNDER of America's First Fake News outlet, I am proud to announce that we are now starting a new project:
The Trump Presidential Library And Adult Book Store!
It has long been my lifetime ambition to honor America's Top Moron, Donald J. Trump before he is indicted, impeached, imprisoned, or, Electrified fried.
After weeks of searching, we have decided on a condemned piece of property, donated for that expressed purpose by my good buddy and fellow publisher, Larry Flynt, owner of Hustler magazine. The location shown below is an ideal site because, ironically, it once was a Taco Stand.
The plans, currently underway and underground, are concealed in a "hermetically sealed" Mason Jar, for security reasons due to the fact that they include a handwritten invitation to Porn Star, "Stormy Daniels", from "the love-struck Donald", asking Stormy (well, actually begging her) if she would host the opening ceremonies.
Stormy's speech is co-written by the other Porn Star in "the Donald's" life Melania, who performed under the name of Melanoma.
Sarah Sanders Huckabee and Kelly Ann Conway have signed contractual agreements to p.erform excerpts from their best-selling Internet Video, "Bedroom Romps in the Lincoln Room With You Know Who"!
Stormy has also announced through her attorney, currently indicted for various and sundry "Trumped" up charges, to donated her extensive collection of videos, pictures and audio tapes of AMERICA'S FIRST FAKE PRESIDENT, Donald J. Trump, and, Miss Daniel raw, lustful "Fake Organism".
We, also, are at liberty to announce that we have hired Doctor Been Crazy, former head of HUD, as our janitor, along with a well known set up man, Rudio Guiliana, to decorate the joint with Ornate, False Over-The-Top Excuses "Why Wrong Is Right and Right Is Wrong.
Hillary Rodham Clinton, former Secretary of State (now a dancer with the Bolshoi Ballet in Moscow) will give the Eulogy.
Unfortunately, Putin, Trump longtime pal, has declined to attend since his "quicky marriage" to Melania, but, did agree to allow her to attend, since she served so admirably as Putin's personal Red Sparrow providing valuable information to the KGB.
Other former Trump Administration officials expected to attend, if not indicted, including Vice President Mike Pence, who will officiate as "the official Azz Wiper", an honorary, unpaid position that requires decades of experience and use of one's own rolls of toilet tissue. Former Attorney General, William Barr, who "flipped" on the Donald to save his own fat azz, and, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who just wants to "piss on him".
The Library will feature Donald J. Trump's complete presidential papers, the personal drawings that he did during his national security briefings, when he should have been listening to the Director of the National Security Council, instead of "doodling".
The rest of the First Family, Ivanka, John, Jr., Eric, etc., if not in lockup, have all agreed to donate a number of family heirlooms and photographs. These will be displayed in what was formerly known as the "mechanic's bay.
Some of the better know photos are showcased here!
Baron, will not be attending. He is still tied to a bed in his room in Trump Towers and rarely leave the premise, even as it is being torn down for scrap iron by creditors.
As founder of the "Trump Presidential Library and Adult Store", I am personally extending an "open invitation" to all the members of TheNewsTalker.com community of "Misfits, Crack Pots and Left Leaning Liberal Too Lazy to Work", to send us your favorite Trump quotes, comments, and/or your own vile statements that you concocted to describe Trump to Eat The Press - Do Not Wipe Your Bun With It, (that's Pence's job) % of EatThePress-DoNotReadIt.thenewstalker.com, or, simply drop them off at any local prison. They will review, edit and forward them (free of charge) to our team of unpaid winos, here, at EAT PRESS, who will do same.
As always, remember the Center for Disease Control advises all Americans to, "Start your day with your morning TRUMP DUMP. Don't forget to WIPE YOUR PENCE! That thing is more toxic than your Trump Dump!"
Winthrop Merideth, The III
Publisher & Flounder
Eat The Press-Do Not Let Your Cat Mess On It!