Plans Underway for Trump's Presidential Library and Adult Book Store

  
By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  last year  •  33 comments

Plans Underway for Trump's Presidential Library and Adult Book Store
"I don't need to read. I have a great mind". - Donald J. Trump, or, someone that sounds like him.

DISCLAIMER Adult language and content throw around here!  Beware: Or, in your underwear!

If you are offended by words, not deeds, you may want to skip these riveting pages and slither over to a "WRONG WING NUT JOB" DISCUSSION GROUP.



As Publisher & Flounder of the "Less Than Presidigous, Award Adverse", EAT THE PRESS - DO NOT READ It, Don't Read Anything! Ignorance is Bliss is exclusively a serious publication for Morons, no idiots, please.

As the CEO & FLOUNDER of America's First Fake News outlet, I am proud to announce that we are now starting a new project:

The Trump Presidential Library And Adult Book Store!

It has long been my lifetime ambition to honor America's Top Moron, Donald J. Trump before he is indicted, impeached, imprisoned, or, Electrified fried.

After weeks of searching, we have decided on a condemned piece of property, donated for that expressed purpose by my good buddy and fellow publisher, Larry Flynt, owner of Hustler magazine.  The location shown below is an ideal site because, ironically, it once was a Taco Stand.

800

The plans, currently underway and underground, are concealed in a "hermetically sealed" Mason Jar, for security reasons due to the fact that they include a handwritten invitation to Porn Star, "Stormy Daniels", from "the love-struck Donald", asking Stormy (well, actually begging her) if she would host the opening ceremonies.

Stormy's speech is co-written by the other Porn Star in "the Donald's" life Melania, who performed under the name of Melanoma.

Sarah Sanders Huckabee and Kelly Ann Conway have signed contractual agreements to p.erform excerpts from their best-selling Internet Video, "Bedroom Romps in the Lincoln Room With You Know Who"!

Stormy has also announced through her attorney, currently indicted for various and sundry "Trumped" up charges, to donated her extensive collection of videos, pictures and audio tapes of AMERICA'S FIRST FAKE PRESIDENT, Donald J. Trump, and, Miss Daniel raw, lustful "Fake Organism".

We, also, are at liberty to announce that we have hired Doctor Been Crazy, former head of HUD, as our janitor, along with a well known set up man, Rudio Guiliana, to decorate the joint with Ornate, False Over-The-Top Excuses "Why Wrong Is Right and Right Is Wrong.

Hillary Rodham Clinton, former Secretary of State (now a dancer with the Bolshoi Ballet in Moscow) will give the Eulogy.

Unfortunately, Putin, Trump longtime pal, has declined to attend since his "quicky marriage" to Melania, but, did agree to allow her to attend, since she served so admirably as Putin's personal Red Sparrow providing valuable information to the KGB. 

Other former Trump Administration officials expected to attend, if not indicted, including Vice President Mike Pence, who will officiate as "the official Azz Wiper",  an honorary, unpaid position that requires decades of experience and use of one's own rolls of toilet tissue. Former Attorney General, William Barr, who "flipped" on the Donald to save his own fat azz, and, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who just wants to "piss on him".

The Library will feature  Donald J. Trump's complete presidential papers, the personal drawings that he did during his national security briefings, when he should have been listening to the Director of the National Security Council, instead of "doodling".

256

The rest of the  First Family, Ivanka, John, Jr., Eric, etc., if not in lockup, have all agreed to donate a number of family heirlooms and photographs. These will be displayed in what was formerly known as the "mechanic's bay.

Some of the better know photos are showcased here!

  196196196196

Baron, will not be attending. He is still tied to a bed in his room in Trump Towers and rarely leave the premise, even as it is being torn down for scrap iron by creditors.

As founder of the "Trump Presidential Library and Adult Store", I am personally extending an "open invitation" to all the members of TheNewsTalker.com community of "Misfits, Crack Pots and Left Leaning Liberal Too Lazy to Work", to send us your favorite Trump quotes, comments, and/or your own vile statements that you concocted to describe Trump to Eat The Press - Do Not Wipe Your Bun With It, (that's Pence's job) % of EatThePress-DoNotReadIt.thenewstalker.com, or, simply drop them off at any local prison. They will review, edit and forward them (free of charge) to our team of unpaid winos, here, at EAT PRESS, who will do same.

As always, remember the Center for Disease Control advises all Americans to, "Start your day with your morning TRUMP DUMP. Don't forget to WIPE YOUR PENCE!  That thing is more toxic than your Trump Dump!"

Sin-cerely, 



Winthrop Merideth, The III
Publisher & Flounder
Eat The Press-Do Not Let Your Cat Mess On It!

Tags

jrDiscussion - desc
smarty_function_ntUser_is_admin: user_id parameter required
Find text within the comments Find 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

If you have any old POS related to Trump and desire to exorcise it, but, don't have the money to hire an expert, why not donate it to the Trump Presidential Library and Adult Book Store?

 
 
 
JohnRussell
2  JohnRussell    last year

I think he has an unopened copy of the book "Everyday Ethics"  in a closet somewhere. 

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
2.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @2    last year

That artifact would be priceless. We will give you a "shiny new nickel" for it.

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
3  Hal A. Lujah    last year

I have some Richie Rich comics that I can donate.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
3.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @3    last year

Hal:  Yes, please do. That is his favorite role model which helped to form his early childhood.

 
 
 
JBB
4  JBB    last year

I hear the arcade is nice...

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Yes, it is JBB, we've installed pinball machines, a miniature golf course, one hole and a row of local prostitutes who tell of their adventures in the hay with "the Donald". There is also a row of various "paddles" on display.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
6  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

I sense that some readers have missed the "solemnity" of this H U G E CIVIC UNDERTAKING and are not contributing, as is mandatory, in our new authoritarian run prison/government, where we are all inmates, in it together.

You do not want to get on "The Donald's Bad Side". He is very vindictive.  So, remember CASH is nice.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
7  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Help, how do I copy this IMPORTANT PUBLIC NOTICE and/or correct the deliberate typos, missed spellings, error,  here,  in the "My Discussion" Page?

Frankly, I believe someone is trolling me and has hacked into my brain for this disruptive purpose. No one could be this stupid without falling down.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
8  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Thank you, Anonymous, for that CRANK CALL. I was able to use your recommendations to correct the mistakes deliberately planted in my pristine column by Russian Snackers.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
9  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

I believe GOD directed this article. Read it with reverence. Don't forget your tithe!

 
 
 
Kavika
10  Kavika     last year

Boris and Natasha will be acting as greeters. 

Image result for photos of boris and natasha

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
10.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Kavika @10    last year

Thank you for that wonderful addition to our collection.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
11  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Thanks, Kavika, as you know, we are a KNOW NOTHINGS fake organization, so, your contributions may not be tax deductible,  but, they sure are fun!

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
12  Paula Bartholomew    last year

I suggest adding Presidential Travel Pee Jars.  They are for the times he is away somewhere and no Russian Hookers are available.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
13  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

This just in, an original cartoon created by Jin Carrey, the world's most "Bizarre Comedian" turned cartoonistJim Carrey Cartoon of Stormy and Trump.jpgTrump and Cambrige Analytical.jpg .

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
14  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Again, thanks to Stormy Daniels, we NOW  have Trump's underwear to display. We are contrasting and comparing them to President Taft's to see who is the FATTER.Stormy Kept a Souvenir.jpg

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
14.1  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @14    last year

They can't be his....no skid marks.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
14.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @14.1    last year

I have a Certificate of Authentication from "Stormy" that says they are real. However, you are perceptive. There are no "skip marks" because "Stormy" is a classy Porn Star. She generously washed them out, six times, to get rid of the "tell-tale" signs.

Now, isn't that Love, Paula?

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
14.1.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @14.1.1    last year

laughing dude

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
14.1.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @14.1.2    last year

Oh, thank you, thank you, Paula. I am such a laugh whore. I need it, I need it, can't get enough. Do it again, untill we are sore.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
15  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Other memorabilia pouring in from as far away as Russia includes these rarely seen photos from Putin.Putin Finds a Piece of Trumps Brain.jpgAnd now you know the Rest of the Story. Good Night America.jpgTrump kisses Putin on the cheek.jpg

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
16  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Even Vice President Pence, the First Closet Queen has pitched in with his photo of he and Trump together for the last time.Pence  Trump Togther Again.jpg

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
17  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Stormy Daniels, never one to be upstaged sent this rare photo of the Menage Trois!Trump and Porn Stars in Oval Office.jpg

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
17.1  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @17    last year

It is more like a manage a twitter.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
17.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @17.1    last year

I am not certain I understand that phrase, "It's more like a managed twitter".

Is that one of those new phrases kids are slinging around these days like, "BTW", or, for "Silence, please, class", they say "STFU"?

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
17.1.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @17.1.1    last year

Let me try again

Menage a twit(ter)

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
17.1.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @17.1.2    last year

Oh, thank you. That is so "sexy", I was not aware that that was possible. 

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
18  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Jim Carrey Cartoon of Stormy and Trump.jpg

Jim Carrey's Masterpiece, "The Presidential Seal" was on loan to the New York Metropolitan Museum and had to be ripped from the wall of the Men's Room, carted off by our curator. Sorry for the confusion. But, what am I, if not confused?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
19  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

I find most of this offensive, but, I can't stop myself from looking.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
20  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

To be clear, let it be known far and near, that my goal, here, at Eat The Press - Do Not Wipe Your Bun With It, is not to illicit "giggles".

No siree bob, I wish to change the world, but, first, I must change my DEPENDS. Getting old sucks.  I don't suck.  Getting old sucks!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
21  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

It appears that we have exhausted all of our donation requests. If you have future donations that you would like to make, please, post them on this site.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
22  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Menage a twit(ter)

 
 
Loading...
Loading...

Who is online


al Jizzerror
Ozzwald
Just Jim NC TttH
KDMichigan
Tessylo
jungkonservativ111
Freedom Warrior
Vic Eldred
Paula Bartholomew
Dulay





JaneDoe
arkpdx


50 visitors