"Hookers" on Social Media - Is there a Proper Time & Place?
Category: News & Politics
By: eat-the-press-do-not-read-it • 6 years ago • 21 commentsIs there something on my face?
Every day I get a friend's request from an attractive, nearly nude woman.
They all seem to say the same thing, "I am ready to lick you"!
"Lick me?" Why would an attractive, nearly nude woman who can't afford to buy a bra that keeps her "knockers" from falling out want to "lick me".
I say to Mark Zuckerberg, "To Hell with fixing the Russian Hackers, shut down all the prostitution sites!"
Not that I am against prostitution, I am not. It has its place, just not on my computer. My grandchildren, age 10 and nine, use it more than I do.
I don't want them to get the idea that, "Poppa, is just like Trump. White Trash"! You don't believe me, I can prove it.
"The brothers got some rope," as every honest biologist will tell you!
Right now my "Jonson" is down the street, around the corner at the local gas station, making a booty call on a pay phone.
Some of you should be getting a call soon.
Please, help my cause by sending "Money, Honey" to me, not to your "Hooker"! Many of them have diseases, like Trump.
It is my elevated believe that "Hookers should have their own page, rated XXX, and, established as a "Closed Group", opened with a "Play with a Prepaid Card Number"!
It is the perfect way for FACEBOOK to make up legally the lost revenue from "selling" its user identity and personal information.
Prostitution has been with us since time immemorial and is a thriving business opportunity for smart guys like Mark Z.
Just a thought! Don't get your panties in a knot.
You don't believe me, I can prove it.
"The brothers got some rope," as every honest biologist will tell you!
Right now my "Jonson" is down the street, around the corner at the local gas station, making a booty call on a pay phone.
Some of you should be getting a call soon.
Please, help my cause by sending "Money, Honey" to me, not to your "Hooker"! Many of them have diseases, like Trump.
It is my elevated believe that "Hookers should have their own page, rated XXX, and, established as a "Closed Group", opened with a "Play with a Prepaid Card Number"!
It is the perfect way for FACEBOOK to make up legally the lost revenue from "selling" its user identity and personal information.
Prostitution has been with us since time immemorial and is a thriving business opportunity for smart guys like Mark Z.
Just a thought! Don't get your panties in a knot.
Do get these daily unsolicited requests to "friend" complete strangers who are nearly nude, as I do?
To be honest, it is mostly on FACEBOOK , on my Filthy McNast y site, titled, "John K. Roberts (Little Johnnie Jump Up). I rarely get them on The News Talker.com because of it higher tone, stricter CofC, but, occasionally, Cobalt Rose, will try to tempt me.
It's the most darn thing that has plagued me all of my life as a "Babe Magnet". When will it end?
This photo was taken in Key West by a braless waitress looking for an extra tip. My wife gave her one.
Sounds like you've got the right kind of Facebook friends!
May I send them your way?
Oh you poor man. It pains me how you have to suffer so, and it would be my christen duty to grit my teeth and force myself to HELP you shoulder your horrible burden. But ALAS! Much as I'd like to help, it sounds like it's your personal cross to bear. But don't worry, I'm sure your wife will straighten everything out real quick.
But I wouldn't be expecting to go out at night alone anytime soon.
My wife, "Ice Pick", explained the rules 44 years ago when she tied me in knots. On the first night of our honeymoon, before she broke the light with a hammer, she said to me so lovingly, "You know, Honey, Bunny, Love Spon, I think you need to know - I sleep with an Ice Pick and I know how to use it!"
Fear is a motivator!
I hate to admit it, but your wife knows how to handle men. Hmmm, do you suppose she'd be willing to teach classes on the subject to politician's wives? They seem to have a little problem in that area.
Ohhh....my.....I would have loved to have seen that 'tip'.
My mom always said that any waitress that slapped my dad got 20 bucks right then and there. I must not have learned enough from my dad because I was only worth 10
Really?
Really. I don't know if she ever paid on my dad but never me .
Years from now that's only how that word will be used, as the name of an STD which causes neurological degeneration. Like the Mumps or the clap. "Doctor, I think I've got the Trump."
Oh, that is so precious.
LOL. Be careful you don't cross the line to be considered a spammer.
It is a joke, I am parodying scammers who do solicit money.
I think it's a garbanzo bean, that is of course unless it's chickpea.
Chickpeas, I should have known. I am after all a "Babe Magnet", why else would nearly nude women send me unsolicited friends request daily. It's my "Girlie Man Scent"!
Well, looks like the gal was wearing a yellow tank top and has blonde hair. Hard to tell how good looking she is but I would say that if she has a russian accent and is drinking lots of water...I would stay away.. Just my two cents.
Good advice!
Eat The Press!!! You bad, bad, bad, man. You outdid yourself with that homepage photo 'number'! And is that you under the white hat with a selfie stick?! If so, you clean up well!
Well, those "Annual Baths" sure help one to "clean up".
Snickering. I think I will go to my grave remembering that image of Trump, Melania, and "Stormy" saddling up Trump-world! PRICELESS.