CNN Report: Evil Trump Kidnaps Three People From North Korean Paradise
ATLANTA, GA—An exclusive new CNN report revealed Thursday that President Trump has kidnapped three people from the paradise of North Korea, forcing them to get on a plane and return to the United States against their wishes.
A teary-eyed CNN anchor broke the story, visibly enraged at the egregious act of international terrorism. CNN reporters had discovered that the three visitors had been in North Korea enjoying a vacation for many months before Trump unilaterally decided to have them forcibly flown back to America, even aggressively accosting them when they landed.
“This heartbreaking story shows just how low President Trump will go,” the anchor said, his voice quavering. “How much longer will this country allow this madman to go on trampling the name of the United States on the world stage? This is an unprecedented act, for a sitting president to personally kidnap perfectly happy visitors to the communist wonderland of North Korea.”
“The time for impeachment is now!” he added, beginning to chant, “Impeach Trump! Impeach Trump!”
At publishing time, sources at CNN had been able to confirm that Trump is planning on flying to a meeting with Kim Jong Un, where the two will discuss how to most efficiently destroy and enslave the world.
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Yes, it is humor. I'm glad these three people are freed and home safely.
But oh-so-close to reality.
The Babylon Bee....is that the conservative version of the Borowitz Report?
A quick search yields this information:
I have removed all the off topic comments and cleaned up the article for you, Gary.
So he greeted them. No accomplishment whatsoever.
Sorry but the fact that we have 3 of our Citizens Home.....is certainly an accomplishment......and yes Trump get's the Credit....just like any other President would.....
His diplomacy got them freed. His firmness caused Kimmy Poo to fold and seek peace. Why couldn't Emperor Obama do that?
We know why, Obummer was a weak and timid wimp, only interested in appeasing our enemies.
He did.
American hostages released from N Korea during the Obama administration:
1. Euna Lee 2. Laura Ling 3. Robert Park 4. Aijalon Gomes 5. Eddie Yong Su Jun 6. Merrill Newman 7. Jeffrey Fowle 8. Kenneth Bae 9. Matthew Miller 10. Sandra Suh 11. Arturo Pierre Martinez
Donald Rump and diplomacy? Surely you jest.
Results do matter......and it is looking like there is a real possibility for Peace......something we have not seen for a very long time......other recent Presidents have been content to just keep kicking the can down the road in hopes that these Countries like NK and Iran don't Nuke someone on their watch.....Trump is finally doing something besides capitulation.....allowing more and more development of their weaponry and their ability to deliver the payload......Thank You President Trump for Ending the Appeasement of Dictators!
And this is what scares both Left and Right Trump haters. They're more interested in destroying Trump rather than appreciating the real hope of peace.
Beware of the tiny hands!
This is freaking HILARIOUS!
Sadly, it might not be too far from the truth.
Now if only Lester Holt were the anchor at CNN then this would absolutely perfect.