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Paul Ryan says his car was eaten by woodchucks — we investigate

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  bob-nelson  •  6 years ago  •  55 comments

Paul Ryan says his car was eaten by woodchucks — we investigate

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



Woodchucks: 1, Paul Ryan’s SUV: 0

997143676.jpg.01.jpg House Speaker Paul Ryan says his car was eaten by woodchucks, NPR reports . The furry rodents spent the winter munching on the congressman’s Chevy Suburban, which had been parked at his mom’s house in Wisconsin, Ryan said at a talk in DC. The car did not weather the woodchuck invasion well. “It’s just dead,” he told the audience , according to NPR.

Alex Edelman / Getty Images

So The Verge is asking the tough questions: did woodchucks specifically target Paul Ryan? Or do woodchucks typically chuck cars?

Paul Ryan’s in the clear: big ground squirrels known as marmots — and yes, a woodchuck is a species of marmot — do chuck cars. And trucks. And bicycles, according to Daniel Blumstein , a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles who studies marmots.

And it’s not just Paul Ryan’s car. Most of the time, marmots are vegetarians that eat grasses and fruits. But for some, car parts are a delicacy. “Apparently they’re attracted to radiator fluid,” Blumstein says — and not just in Wisconsin. The species of marmot that Blumstein studies around the Rocky Mountain Biological Lab in Colorado can make car maintenance hairy. “We’ve got marmots climbing in cars and being driven around and sometimes getting killed and eating cars and destroying wiring,” Blumstein says. “But usually they’re going for the radiator fluid, somehow. And it can’t be good for them.”

Groundhog__9600010052_1.jpg The alleged car-chewer: a woodchuck.
Shenandoah National Park / Wikimedia Commons

So how do you keep them away? “What we do is if cars are being savaged by marmots, people put chicken wire under them,” Blumstein says. The website for Mineral King, California — part of the Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks — has other advice . (“You are entering marmot country,” the website warns .) Park officials actually recommend against the chicken-wire strategy these days, “as marmots have learned to get around the wire.” Now, the park advises washing your car — including the undercarriage and engine compartment — before completely wrapping it in a tarp to keep the marmots out.

Marmot_Mobile_11.jpg There’s another marmot-repelling strategy that Ryan may be more reluctant to try: urine. “Some studies have shown that mountain lion urine or lion urine on the apples keeps them away,” Blumstein says.

A marmot-proofed car.
Jennifer Swacina / NPS

Christine Maher , a professor of biology and associate dean for academic affairs at the University of Southern Maine, is more of a woodchuck skeptic, however. She hasn’t heard of the marmot species on her end of the country trying to get into cars — especially in the winter. Woodchucks are burrowers, Maher explains. To keep warm during the cold winter months, woodchucks burrow beneath the frost line. So woodchucks hibernating in a car “would just be burning through more fat trying to keep their bodies from freezing,” she says.

She wants to see the evidence because mice or chipmunks could also have gnawed through the wiring. “It would have been nice to see how they decided it was woodchucks that had done it,” she says.

Whether it’s ultimately a woodchuck, mouse, or chipmunk to blame, one thing’s for certain: Ryan is going to need a new vehicle.


Article is LOCKED by author/seeder
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Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
1  seeder  Bob Nelson    6 years ago

I once had a 2CV Citroën eaten by mice...

 
 
 
Old Hermit
Sophomore Silent
1.1  Old Hermit  replied to  Bob Nelson @1    6 years ago
I once had a 2CV Citroën eaten by mice...

Squirrels got my 2003 Ford Escape twice between 2007 & 2015.

The furry buggers did more than $2K worth of damage each time. Chewed up every wire, every piece of tubing and every piece of plastic under the hood.

Guess that's what I get for leaving it unused and just sitting uncovered here in the woods for months at a time. ( smile )

S7300005.JPG

020108 Pictures.jpg

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
1.1.1  seeder  Bob Nelson  replied to  Old Hermit @1.1    6 years ago

Very nourishing...

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
1.2  Freefaller  replied to  Bob Nelson @1    6 years ago

Lol totally believable story, during my time in Germany Marders (martens) are a problem.  They once chewed up some wiring in my car which resulted in the engine catching fire

They are cute little buggers though

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
1.2.1  Skrekk  replied to  Freefaller @1.2    6 years ago

I live in southern WI and I've never heard of woodchucks going after car innards so I doubt that aspect of Ryan's story.    But the mice, chipmunks and squirrels are something else altogether.

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
1.2.2  Freefaller  replied to  Skrekk @1.2.1    6 years ago

Neither had I, although truthfully I wasn't even familiar with the term woodchuck (we call them groundhogs here).  Anyway I did a quick search and there are a couple similar stories there, so I'm going with it's plausible.

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
1.2.3  Skrekk  replied to  Freefaller @1.2.2    6 years ago

They're called groundhogs here in WI too.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2  Kavika     6 years ago

If Ryan would have had a ''foreign car'' it wouldn't have happened. Those Chuckers were obviously foreign democrats. They probably came over the Minnesota border. 

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
2.1  seeder  Bob Nelson  replied to  Kavika @2    6 years ago

... maybe even...  ...   Canadians!

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2.1.1  Kavika   replied to  Bob Nelson @2.1    6 years ago

A wall, we need a wall to keep them out...

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Professor Silent
2.1.2  SteevieGee  replied to  Bob Nelson @2.1    6 years ago
... maybe even...  Canadians...

Gasp!  The horror.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3  Trout Giggles    6 years ago

Groundhogs eating cars

I do believe I've heard everything now!

 
 
 
pat wilson
Professor Participates
3.1  pat wilson  replied to  Trout Giggles @3    6 years ago

Sounds like a Farmers Insurance commercial, lol.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  pat wilson @3.1    6 years ago

It does!

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4  Kavika     6 years ago

I'm not a meteorologist.

 funny-groundhog-ecard-ftl.jpg?resize=527%2C373

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
4.1  Skrekk  replied to  Kavika @4    6 years ago

If you believe that one I'll bet that you'll believe that marmots carry the plague!    Those cute little critters would never do that.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4.1.1  Kavika   replied to  Skrekk @4.1    6 years ago

You mean they don't!!!!!!

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
4.1.2  Skrekk  replied to  Kavika @4.1.1    6 years ago

Last time I was alpine caving in Wyoming I brought a wrist rocket to discourage them away from our camp, both because they'll trash it and because of plague warnings.   Turns out I'm a really good shot.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4.1.3  Kavika   replied to  Skrekk @4.1.2    6 years ago

I'd be careful around Rocky if I were you...Rocky is a 2nd amendment Groundhog....

groundhog-armed.bmp

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
5  epistte    6 years ago

It was mice or chipmunks that destroyed the wiring. Woodchucks are fat lazy rodents that only want to eat soybeans and sleep. 

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  epistte @5    6 years ago

They like cabbage, too

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
5.1.1  epistte  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1    6 years ago
They like cabbage, too

That is a new diet for a whistle pig.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.2  Kavika   replied to  epistte @5.1.1    6 years ago

Please quit saying degrading things about ground hogs...I have a pet ground hog named Rocky...Geezz

And Rocky loves grapes, especially green grapes. 

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
5.1.3  seeder  Bob Nelson  replied to  Kavika @5.1.2    6 years ago

Photos, please!

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.4  Kavika   replied to  Bob Nelson @5.1.3    6 years ago

Next time he's out and about I'll get a photo of him. 

I'll also get one of Amos, our armadillo.

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
5.1.5  Skrekk  replied to  Kavika @5.1.2    6 years ago
I have a pet ground hog named Rocky

They sure don't seem to have good eyesight.   Is that true?

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
5.1.6  epistte  replied to  Kavika @5.1.2    6 years ago

I have a semi-friendly trash panda that eats the cat food that I set out for the strays.

I like whistle pigs.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.7  Kavika   replied to  Skrekk @5.1.5    6 years ago

I don't think so. Rocky see's just fine. 

Another thing that I've heard/seen people say is that they are slow, fat, lazy and defenseless. The first three are true, but they are far from defenseless. Rocky taught a fox a hard lesson when it attacked Rocky..Rocky took some bites but once he locked on the the fox's neck the fight was over...That fox did everything it could to shake Rocky off, which it finally did, but they took off and we haven't seen him back...

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.8  Kavika   replied to  epistte @5.1.6    6 years ago

LOL, OK your forgiven. Rocky accepts your apology but wants to know if you have any grapes...Happy

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.9  Kavika   replied to  Bob Nelson @5.1.3    6 years ago

This is a photo of Amos. He's munching grubs at the moment.photo (2).JPG

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
5.1.10  epistte  replied to  Kavika @5.1.8    6 years ago
LOL, OK your forgiven. Rocky accepts your apology but wants to know if you have any grapes..

No grapes but I have plenty of tasty crabgrass and the trimmings from making a garden salad for dinner. 

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
5.1.11  epistte  replied to  Kavika @5.1.7    6 years ago

A cornered whistle pig is dangerous because of their very sharp claws.  I saw a dog get ripped apart when he tried to corner a groundhog in a barn.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.12  Kavika   replied to  epistte @5.1.10    6 years ago

Rocky is a bit disappointed with that offering. Do you happen to have some ''Blue cheese dressing'' to go with that salad?

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.13  Kavika   replied to  epistte @5.1.11    6 years ago

They also have a wicked set of teeth and can cause a hell of a lot of damage.

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
5.1.14  epistte  replied to  Kavika @5.1.12    6 years ago

I made a vinegarette. I love blue cheese, but I'm trying to be healthy. 

My neighbor has grape vines, a raspberry patch and 2-3 plants of rhubarb is Rocky is interested. 

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.15  Kavika   replied to  epistte @5.1.14    6 years ago
My neighbor has grape vines, a raspberry patch and 2-3 plants of rhubarb is Rocky is interested.

Are you kidding, does a bear poop in the woods. Is a clam happy at high tide.  Rocky is doing handstands after reading your comment....Raspberry patch...OMG. 

BTW, this is Rocky latest and newest business venture. 

th?id=OIP.SLyKrHNLR0x0vbL9a247TwHaIK&pid

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
5.1.16  Skrekk  replied to  Kavika @5.1.9    6 years ago

Ok.....so one of you "pets" is a known carrier of leprosy and the other is very closely related to the primary reservoir of bubonic plague.    It sounds like you're begging the great sky fairy to visit at least one of the scourges of the ancient world upon you!

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
5.1.17  epistte  replied to  Kavika @5.1.15    6 years ago

The black raspberries are ripe now. The red ones will be ripe is a few weeks.  They brought me 2 quarts that I used to make scones.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.18  Kavika   replied to  epistte @5.1.17    6 years ago

I love both colors of raspberries...

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.19  Kavika   replied to  Skrekk @5.1.16    6 years ago

This is Tex, our resident bull...As for the other critters not a worry. Being one with nature and all it's critters I have no problem. Besides mosquito don't bite me either.  photo 26.JPG

 
 
 
dave-2693993
Junior Quiet
5.1.20  dave-2693993  replied to  Kavika @5.1.19    6 years ago

That's too funny.

I've got a runaway bull story that was chasing my younger sister one time. Thank goodness she was athletic and grew up in a family of tree climbers. Up a tree she went.

It wasn't a long horn. Just had a grouchy attitude.

I'll save the details for a more appropriate time.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.21  Kavika   replied to  dave-2693993 @5.1.20    6 years ago
I'll save the details for a more appropriate time.

Now is appropriate.

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
5.1.22  Skrekk  replied to  Kavika @5.1.19    6 years ago
This is Tex, our resident bull

That's a nice looking animal.   There's a vaguely similar variety (Scottish highland or something) that's supposed to be useful for clearing the woods around here of prickly ash.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
Junior Quiet
5.1.23  dave-2693993  replied to  Kavika @5.1.21    6 years ago

Okay, be forewarned, the story is a little drawn out and involved firearms.

Note: No bulls were injured or harmed in this story. Thankfully, neither was my sister.

Let's see, we were visiting my grandparents in Pennsylvania farm country in the area where a couple battles of the Brandywine occurred. They had an old stone farm home built in the early 1600s (I have a copy of the deed still). Not a full time farm, but a smaller place where my grandfather could grow things, which he enjoyed.  Across  the road was a large farm which also raised cattle.

They happened to have a bull with a bad disposition and, of course a containment fence that was kind of useless.

I was 12, 13, 14, somewhere around there. So it was at least a couple years ago.

Also, my grandparents had this dog hated me (has a role in the story). Yes, it really hated me. But by then Woofer was well along in years and had learned to accept me, well, maybe tolerated. Learned later he had been my Mothers dog when he was a pup and she lived at home. He loved my Mom.

BTW, Woofer was one of those big full sized grey/blue  haired Chows. My grandparents place belonged to him.

I was up by the garage doing something. My younger sister, 2 younger brothers and 2 cousins were down in the front swinging on tree ropes, running through sprinklers, playing ball, etc.

The bull happened to be right across the road at this time. I forgot it's name, but I recall the name matched it's personality.

All of a sudden I am hearing a bunch of screaming and hollering. So I walked down and see the bull chasing right after my sister. She was running to a tree and I took off.

NO, not toward the bull. I had a 7.65mm model 1891 Argentine Mauser with some loaded stripper clips. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my sister reach and climb the tree.

About then I got to the house, yelled to my Father the bull was after Shari. Grabbed my rifle and some ammo, ran back out the door with Dad following and shouting DON'T SHOOT THE BULL UNLESS I TELL YOU.

Not all the kids got to trees,, so they were precariously hiding as possible.

Of course Woofer got pissed that this bull was in his yard and took point.

The bull noticed one of the kids and began to move. My Dad again said Don't Shoot THE BULL. RUN 2 ROINDS RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT. I IT CONTINUES THEN SHOOT IT.

We both ran 2 rounds right in front of it and it stopped.

I was thinking "okay, how long is this going to last"?

About then the farmer from across the road shows up on horse back with a couple fellas and get the bull back where it belonged and made another meaningless repair to the fence.

That is when Woofer walked straight too me. Growled at me and went back in the house.

Never had love for that bull.

Sad when Woofer went on.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.24  Kavika   replied to  dave-2693993 @5.1.23    6 years ago

LOL, well the good thing was no one was hurt including the bull. 

I'll bet there were some kids that just might have pooped their pants.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.25  Kavika   replied to  Skrekk @5.1.22    6 years ago

I've seen some eat prickly pear in NM and Arizona...Don't know how in the heck they do it.

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
5.1.26  Skrekk  replied to  Kavika @5.1.25    6 years ago

It turns out it is indeed the Scottish Highland variety.   Very useful where I live for anyone who wants to maintain their woods.   Apparently they also love wild parsnip.

I'll bet they'd eat a car too.

Image result for scottish highland cattle

The calves are super cute.

Image result for scottish highland cattle

 
 
 
dave-2693993
Junior Quiet
5.1.27  dave-2693993  replied to  Kavika @5.1.24    6 years ago
I'll bet there were some kids that just might have pooped their pants.

There might have been good betting odds on that.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.28  Kavika   replied to  Skrekk @5.1.26    6 years ago

Ha, they are darn cute...

I sure hope the experiment with them works out..Great idea.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.29  Kavika   replied to  dave-2693993 @5.1.27    6 years ago
There might have been good betting odds on that.

I'm sure they were.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
5.1.30  seeder  Bob Nelson  replied to  dave-2693993 @5.1.23    6 years ago
That is when Woofer walked straight too me. Growled at me and went back in the house.

Good story, good ending!  Clapping

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.31  Trout Giggles  replied to  epistte @5.1.1    6 years ago
That is a new diet for a whistle pig.

My dad bought a .22 air pistol because of one ornery groundhog. Rocky's cousin liked to get in my dad's cabbage patch and munch until he couldn't move. Mom laughed at Dad because she said he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. I don't think Dad ever got that ground hog.

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
6  Split Personality    6 years ago

51 years in the auto industry - I could write a book about critter damage.

We had a car that was a "loss leader'.  A stick shift Ice Blue Aires Station Wagon ridiculously cheap but zero features.

Eventually some Mennonites bought it, intending to paint it black and use it on the farm, etc.

About a week later they drove it back in with the front end totaled and every rear window broken out.

The "kids" took the car for a joy ride and hit  a deer. 

In order to prove to their parents it wasn't totally their fault, they decided to put the deer in the back  of the S/W.

Only it wasn't dead yet......

The Police had to shoot the deer in the car, but not before it kicked the living daylights out of the interior.

Multiple tickets and fines later, the insurance company declined their claim and cancelled them.

true.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
6.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Split Personality @6    6 years ago

laughing dude

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
6.1.1  Split Personality  replied to  Trout Giggles @6.1    6 years ago

that was my (subdued) reaction when the family asked if we could do anything at all for them "under warranty".

 
 

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