What Deceased Relative Would You Choose to Spend a Day With Now?
What Deceased Relative Would You Choose to Spend a Day With Now?
In my case, the first person I think of would be my father. I was in another city at my desk when I got the call from a neighbourhood doctor that he had a fatal heart attack. I never had a chance to tell my dad how much I appreciated what a good father he had been to me and that I loved him very much. Those are things that should never be delayed because we never know when we are going to lose the opportunity.
When I was young, this was my father:
My father was a perfectionist, good at whatever he chose to do. He was a great businessman, building a used bag business into a million-dollar industry - he could do absolutely every individual job in his factory better than anyone else (except perhaps the accountant's job), was a trophy-winning Latin-American dancer, a champion bridge player (once a week played as a group with Canada's bridge champion and two other experts), was a fantastic fisherman (taught ME how to be a successful fisherman), and in his late 50s took up golf and eventually in his 60s played with an 8 handicap. In fact as he was retiring from his business he purchased a golf condominium in Hollybrook, Florida, and just as the sale of his business was to be closed, died, before ever playing one round of golf at his condo. I so lament the fact that he never actually enjoyed it. Eventually, on the death of my mother many years later, my brother and I inherited the condo, so for a number of years I was an owner of a residence in the USA.
This was taken when my father, at age 20, married my mother, who was 21.
They were married in Hamilton, Ontario, the city of my birth and youth. My mother and her family had immigrated from Kiev, and my father at age 13 without a dollar in his pocket fled White Russia when the other students in the school discovered that he was bourgeois, as his family owned a sugar refinery, such ownership not condoned due to the revolution.
As he aged, he did enjoy life, had many friends and was respected in his community. My parents used to have dance-parties with their friends in our home, where I would be the bartender. Eventually he did get to look older, but don't we all?
In his business he treated his employees like family, helped them out when they needed, and in the case where one of his employees got arrested for a misdemeanor (she was a kleptomaniac) served as a character witness on her behalf. Over the years I cannot recall one employee quitting - they were as loyal to him as he was to them. I miss him, his wisdom, his fairness, his many diverse capabilities, and for his support for me when I needed it.
I can't help but think of the theatrical play, Thornton Wilder's "Our Town". In it Emily, who had just passed away, comes back for one day and comes to the realization that we should appreciate every single moment of our life, to look at people, to focus on little things. I think of how that applies with respect to our relationships with our family members, who leave us for eternity, in that we should be more involved and open with those we love, pay more attention while they are still with us. Emily asks: "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?", and the stage manager (the narrator in the play) replies: "No. The saints and poets, maybe—they do some."
I KNOW it's going to be hard to choose just ONE relative, as there are reasons for so many, but for the sake of staying on topic, please choose the one who was most important, and most missed. Photos are called for.
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I had a great uncle who was a lieutenant in an infantry company in France in WW1. A doughboy. I never had the chance to ask him about that. I guess this lunch meeting would be a good time.
I'm not going to choose between my mother and my father.
I had an older brother who died in a drowning accident when he was 31 years old. I guess I'd like to talk to him and ask what he thinks of the last 38 years of this world.
This one's for more than a lunch - a lunch can't give you enough time. This one's for a day.
I'm sure there isn't ONE person among all the members of NT, who would not wish to spend a day with a relative who has passed on. The REAL difficulty may be to choose only one. I certainly had a tough time choosing.
Please let's not have the cynical and insensitive "Why would I want to spend the day with a corpse?" bullshit. It's not funny. People have feelings, and are capable of imagining and fantasizing, so if you're not, then don't comment or I will have it removed as being off topic.
Buzz, we discussed this in your last seed, my answer is the same as then, my sister Beth, I have things I'd like to tell her that I didn't get the chance to and, a nice hour long lunch would just do it I think.
I'm giving you a whole day this time - you don't have to use the whole day if you don't wish.
I think I'd like to go back to Crandon Park with her and, spend the day not only talking and, having lunch but, collecting shells with her, she liked that.
My grandfather, HH, who died at age of 77, 2 months before I was born. I was only grandchild he did not live to see. My relatives told me stories about him and he seemed to be a fascinating and interesting character. He and my Great Uncle made a good living as teamsters driving and renting teams of mules and draft horses.
I have been told that I am as stubborn as HH's mules were
My grandfather on my Mom's side. A navigator in the Flying Tigers who came out the other side a different man than the one who went in according to my grandmother.
I may have seen your grandfather's photo, as there are many photos of the crews up on the walls in the former residence of General "Vinegar Joe" Stilwell which is now a museum for the Flying Tigers in Chongqing, where I now live.
My grampap Jay. He served in WWII and was there when they liberated the camps (right after). He would tell us stories but like an idiot I never paid attention. I want to hear what he saw and heard.
I also want stories about his days as a union organizer
I was going to say my wife but the more I thought about the more painful I realized that would be when the day was over, same for my mother. So I'd have to answer none (again).
My choice of a deceased relative would have to be my Maternal Great-Great Uncle, Lon Chaney Sr. He was known as the "man of a thousand faces".
He was an amazing individual, with a talent make-up and acting that made him living legend in his time. Both of his parents were deaf, thus, he learned early in life how to mime and communicate with them with his own brand of sign language. He carried this ability over into his acting career in the silent movies.
I never got to meet Lon Sr., however, moving to So Calif I was able to meet and get to know Lon Jr. His stories of his Father and his acting ability were amazing and fascinating. While Lon Jr. never achieved the fame and notoriety of his Father, he was a great man and actor in his own right.
But, there are many questions that I would like to ask Lon Sr. regarding how he chose the disguises and make-up to create his many characters and bring them to life even in a silent world.
Just my thoughts.
Holy Smoke! Lon Chaney Sr. was a GREAT actor - yes, I certainly agree with THAT choice. Of course you know I'm a big fan of classic films.
I loved Lon Sr.'s Phantom of the Opera, that makeup became the standard for that character, IMO. I understand from the movie they made of Lon Sr. that he got his start really by playing a soldier in a WWI film who had been wounded, the makeup artists of the time couldn't do justice to wounds so, Lon did his own and, the director loved it, from then on he got other roles that allowed him to use his makeup ability, he was an Arab in one film and, darkened his own skin to match what he knew they looked like and, then he created the hunch he later used in the Hunchback of Notre dame in another film.