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Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship

  

Category:  The Zoo

Via:  badfish-hd-h-u  •  5 years ago  •  23 comments

Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



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AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday evening, reports confirmed.

Ripley reportedly walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 6th, pointed his bat toward the left-field wall looming 130 feet in the distance, and let her rip, sending the ball rocketing over the fence and into a parking lot as the fans cheered and his coach yelled out, “Attaboy, Nate! Good job, bud!”

His team, the Lil’ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.

Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.

“I’m just proud to be here with my team. It’s all for the love of the game,” an emotional Ripley told reporters while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.”


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JohnRussell
Professor Principal
2  JohnRussell    5 years ago

I don't think The Onion is feeling threatened by this. 

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
3  Texan1211    5 years ago

If anyone is opposed to this man playing, they are exhibiting ageism.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
3.2  Tacos!  replied to  Texan1211 @3    5 years ago

It's all about fairness. Everyone should get a chance to play.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4  JohnRussell    5 years ago

I'm just waiting for the first person to say they believe this is real. 

 
 
 
KDMichigan
Junior Participates
4.2  KDMichigan  replied to  JohnRussell @4    5 years ago
I'm just waiting for the first person to say they believe this is real. 

HAHAHA Something like this?

original

 
 
 
KDMichigan
Junior Participates
4.2.2  KDMichigan  replied to  Release The Kraken @4.2.1    5 years ago

Fake news cooper never gets old. You should watch the video of him trying to brush this off while he is standing next to cat tails....that grow in ditches.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4.2.3  JohnRussell  replied to  KDMichigan @4.2.2    5 years ago

Anderson Cooper has a video that debunks ALL of this. I gave you the link. I guess you'd rather be stubborn than factual. That is a trait of today's right winger. 

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Expert
4.2.4  MrFrost  replied to  KDMichigan @4.2.2    5 years ago
Fake news cooper never gets old.

Care to list all those fake news stories? 

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Expert
4.2.6  MrFrost  replied to  Release The Kraken @4.2.5    5 years ago
Alex Jones look like Walter Cronkite.

Yea, that's why he keeps getting kicked off of social media sites. Do you think Sandy Hook was all a hoax as well? 

Interesting. 

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
4.2.7  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Release The Kraken @4.2.5    5 years ago
The leftizoid media is making Alex Jones look like Walter Cronkite.

You know I love you more than my midnight blue bustier with the rhinestone peace signs embroidered on both double-D cups, but how dare you use Walter Cronkite's name in such a heinous way.  

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
5  Sean Treacy    5 years ago

Ha!

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
6  Tacos!    5 years ago

They don't technically keep score in tee ball, but we all know who really won, don't we. 

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Professor Silent
7  SteevieGee    5 years ago

Wasn't that the same tee that pitched a perfect game just about two weeks ago?

 
 

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