Studies Show that Husbands Stress Women Twice as Much as Children

  
Via:  loretta-mashkawidee-kemsley  •  4 weeks ago  •  110 comments

Studies Show that Husbands Stress Women Twice as Much as Children
According to neuroscientists, the human brain is a sex-typed organ with distinct structure and function. In other words, men and women are different in every aspect.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


A 2013 study involved 7,000 women. The women were supposed to rate their stress level on a scale of 0-10. What was the average? 8.5. Well, this doesn’t come as a surprise. What’s the biggest cause of stress for all those women? Their husbands.

Here are some other sources of stress for moms:


  • Lack of time to get everything done
  • Responsibility for all the household duties around the home
  • Lack of help from their spouses
  • Single moms have the highest levels of stress because they don’t have enough support from their spouses

To be honest, moms do twice as many tasks as fathers. Moms know they can do everything right, which isn’t the case with their husbands. Women spend more time taking care of their family than men.

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Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
1  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley    4 weeks ago

From the article:

A 2015 study confirmed that fathers have higher level of avoidance and more egoistic motivations to offer help. They don’t have high ability to recognize other people’s needs. They also have lower levels of mindful parenting than moms.

We’re not trying to convince you that men care less and don’t love their kids and wives. It’s all in the way they perceive parenting. Women do it differently.

Studies in mammal genetics confirmed that the maternal instinct is pre-programmed in females in utero, and this has something to do with the predominant female sex hormones.

Moms are frustrated with the fact that their spouses act more like kids than active parents. Dads usually sit back and ignore the dirty dishes.

A study conducted by the University of Padova (Italy) confirmed that when one spouse dies after long years of marriage, widowers are depressed and unhealthy. Widows have their stress levels reduced and have lesser chance of becoming frail.

 
 
 
bbl-1
2  bbl-1    4 weeks ago

Makes sense at least for modern day America I guess.

After all, seems most women would feel stressed by a husband that supports the party and the ideology to take away the birth control.  And that is just one thing.

There are dozens of other examples by the 'new conservatism.'

 
 
 
Jack_TX
2.1  Jack_TX  replied to  bbl-1 @2    4 weeks ago
After all, seems most women would feel stressed by a husband that supports the party and the ideology to take away the birth control. 

You think it's the husbands who support that ideology.....  

That's hilarious.

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2  Texan1211  replied to  bbl-1 @2    4 weeks ago

I know of no party that would like to do away with birth control.

Please show us in that party's website or platform.

Thanks.

 
 
 
bbl-1
2.2.1  bbl-1  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2    4 weeks ago

You don't pay attention to the christian/gop world?

No website.  No platform.  It's the judges.  Its the judges.

 
 
 
Jack_TX
2.2.2  Jack_TX  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2    4 weeks ago
I know of no party that would like to do away with birth control.

That's because it only exists in the wild imaginations of a very few liberals.

 
 
 
bbl-1
2.2.3  bbl-1  replied to  Jack_TX @2.2.2    4 weeks ago

One more right wing judge and Roe is gone.

 
 
 
Jack_TX
2.2.4  Jack_TX  replied to  bbl-1 @2.2.3    4 weeks ago
One more right wing judge and Roe is gone.

What does that have to do with birth control?   Surely you're not suggesting that abortion is simply an alternative to an IUD.

 
 
 
bbl-1
2.2.5  bbl-1  replied to  Jack_TX @2.2.4    4 weeks ago

Everything.

 
 
 
Freefaller
2.2.6  Freefaller  replied to  Jack_TX @2.2.4    4 weeks ago
What does that have to do with birth control? 

I do believe abortions control births, so birth control would seem to be an accurate term.

 
 
 
Jack_TX
2.2.7  Jack_TX  replied to  bbl-1 @2.2.5    4 weeks ago
Everything.

It would seem the primary connection between the two is simply the far left hysteria about both.  

 
 
 
Jack_TX
2.2.8  Jack_TX  replied to  Freefaller @2.2.6    4 weeks ago
I do believe abortions control births, so birth control would seem to be an accurate term.

That's a bit like calling bulimia a weight loss program.

 
 
 
Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
2.2.9  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2    4 weeks ago

Trump's Relentless War Against Birth Control

For the moment at least, efforts to repeal Obamacare are on hold, but the bid to limit contraceptive coverage is chugging right along. Even without a repeal of Obamacare, the Administration is moving to weaken Obamacare's "contraceptive mandate," which requires private, non-grandfathered, insurance plans to cover contraceptive services without requirement of a co-pay.

A draft "interim final rule" is already working its way through the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). It would make it a whole lot easier for employers to drop contraceptive coverage for contraceptive services. An employer with any religious or moral objection to birth control could drop coverage for its employees without even having to notify the federal government.

Now that the latest effort to "repeal and replace" Obamacare has faltered, the pressure to do something on the regulatory front will, almost certainly, increase. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, however, a battle over funding of family planning programs looms on the horizon. The House of Representatives has voted to eliminate all funding for Title X, a federal program that supports family planning clinics serving low-income neighborhoods and communities.

Established in 1970 with strong support from President Richard Nixon, Title X has helped tens of millions of women prevent unwanted pregnancies. The House also wants to ax all funding for evidence-based teen pregnancy prevention programs in favor of ineffective "abstinence-only" programs.

On the international front, the Trump Administration earlier this year suspended, by executive action, U.S. support for the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), despite the vital role it plays in meeting the reproductive health needs of women in developing countries and refugee camps.

Trump's proposed budget would go much further, eliminating all U.S. support for family planning programs in developing countries. The House-passed FY2018 appropriations bill stopped short of terminating our bilateral support for family planning, but approved a 25 percent cut in funding that would have a devastating impact on some of the poorest countries in the world.

All these efforts are part of a larger and unprecedented attack on birth control that gained critical momentum after the 2010 elections, when Republicans regained control of the U.S. House of Representatives.

There was a time, not that long ago, when the idea of improving access to family planning programs enjoyed broad bipartisan support, but the number of Congressional Republicans willing to stand up for birth control has dwindled today to a dozen or less.

The battle, however, has also been raging at the state level, where politically motivated attacks on Planned Parenthood and cuts in state support for Title X family planning clinics have forced the closure of dozens of clinics in states like Texas and New Jersey.

Support for contraception is also under assault in the courts with the appointment of a growing number of social conservatives to the federal bench, including the U.S. Supreme Court's new associate justice, Neil Gorsuch.

In the next three years Trump-appointed judges, at all levels of the federal judiciary, could create an increasingly hostile environment for birth control, as well as, abortion rights.

From a public policy perspective, none of this makes sense. The arguments commonly made against contraception do not withstand scrutiny, including the attacks on Planned Parenthood. Limiting access to contraception will lead to more abortions, not fewer, and it could even increase maternal mortality rates.

Experience also demonstrates that when access to contraception is curtailed the tax bill increases, as federal and state expenditures for Medicaid rise. And when government support for evidence-based sexuality education is cut, more teenage pregnancies result.

https://www.newsweek.com/trumps-relentless-war-against-birth-control-679559

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.10  Texan1211  replied to  bbl-1 @2.2.1    4 weeks ago
You don't pay attention to the christian/gop world?

I sure do, which is why I specifically asked my question, and you utterly failed at answering.

No website.  No platform.  It's the judges.  Its the judges.

Which judges? Can you name any judge who wants to ban contraceptives? And how can a single judge do that, pray tell?

 
 
 
Jack_TX
2.2.11  Jack_TX  replied to  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley @2.2.9    4 weeks ago

Interesting how ceasing to buy people stuff is somehow considered a "war" on that stuff.

Buy this "logic", we're already engaged in a "war on guns".  We also have a "war on BMWs", a "war on beach houses", a "war on caviar" and a "war on Armani suits".   I, for one, am astonished to learn that the Trump administration has been so openly hostile to wealth and privilege all along, not to mention their nefarious undermining of the 2nd Amendment.  Who knew?  

 
 
 
MUVA
2.2.12  MUVA  replied to  Jack_TX @2.2.11    4 weeks ago

Don't forget the war on you keeping the money you earn.

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.13  Texan1211  replied to  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley @2.2.9    4 weeks ago

just call me old-school.

I just figure everyone should pay for their own contraceptives. Seems like the adult thing to do to me.

Planned Parenthood has closed some clinics by their choice. Not a thing stopping them from opening new ones except themselves.

While paying for birth control in other countries is admirable, it is not really our responsibility to do so. Let the EU take on the expense for a while. Or China, Russia, or any other country that wants to do so.

For all the hullabaloo over the supposed GOP opposition to birth control, we still have it readily available---even in (GASP!) a red state like Texas.

 
 
 
MUVA
2.2.14  MUVA  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2.13    4 weeks ago

Why would you do that when you can get your fellow citizen to foot the bill even when you can afford it.

 
 
 
Freefaller
2.2.15  Freefaller  replied to  Jack_TX @2.2.8    4 weeks ago
That's a bit like calling bulimia a weight loss program.

LMAO, no it wouldn't

 
 
 
JBB
2.2.16  JBB  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2.13    4 weeks ago

In that case you should not complain when the out of control reproductive of poor undereducated underemployed brown peoples drowns out the current system's ability to maintain the status quo. At that point the poor unwashed masses of humanity will have no options left for survival other than to rise up and overwhelm the last vestiges of the privileged white patriarchy you so take for granted...

 
 
 
MUVA
2.2.17  MUVA  replied to  JBB @2.2.16    4 weeks ago

My did you equate poor ,undereducated people and people unable to control their sexual urges  with brown people as a brown person I take great offense to that comment. 

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.18  Texan1211  replied to  JBB @2.2.16    4 weeks ago
In that case you should not complain when the out of control reproductive of poor undereducated underemployed brown peoples drowns out the current system's ability to maintain the status quo. At that point the poor unwashed masses of humanity will have no options left for survival other than to rise up and overwhelm the last vestiges of the privileged white patriarchy you so take for granted...

That comment is racist.

Wow, I am soooo surprised.

I will complain about anything and everything if I so choose to do so.

I see no need or point in my paying for other people to screw and have kids that they don't want and can't afford.

I just want a little personal responsibility to be brought into play here.

Is that seriously asking for too much?

Do you think the government needs to be involved in contraception?

 
 
 
MUVA
2.2.19  MUVA  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2.18    4 weeks ago

Didn't you know all of us black folk are poor and just fuck all day long.

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
2.2.20  igknorantzrulz  replied to  MUVA @2.2.19    4 weeks ago

if so, then i'm envious of poor black fuckers.

i wish to be poor, and fuck all day

it could/would beat being a rich masturbator

.

though i'm neither

 
 
 
Jack_TX
2.2.21  Jack_TX  replied to  JBB @2.2.16    4 weeks ago
In that case you should not complain when the out of control reproductive of poor undereducated underemployed brown peoples drowns out the current system's ability to maintain the status quo.

Nominee for "Racist Tirade of the Month".

At that point the poor unwashed masses of humanity will have no options left for survival other than to rise up and overwhelm the last vestiges of the privileged white patriarchy you so take for granted...

Disappointing to hear you think so little of minorities.

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.22  Texan1211  replied to  MUVA @2.2.19    4 weeks ago
Didn't you know all of us black folk are poor and just fuck all day long.

I am going to have to get onto some folks I know. Seems they aren't holding up their end very well.  

 
 
 
squiggy
2.2.23  squiggy  replied to  igknorantzrulz @2.2.20    4 weeks ago

Not wealthy?

 
 
 
squiggy
2.2.24  squiggy  replied to  JBB @2.2.16    4 weeks ago
out of control reproductive of poor undereducated underemployed brown peoples

Ooo. Somebody has a hole in his LINO liner.

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
2.2.25  igknorantzrulz  replied to  squiggy @2.2.23    4 weeks ago

nor healthy, or wise.

.

but worth, is not quantitative,

health not always demonstrative,

but you might find, i take more, when i Give

 
 
 
It Is ME
2.2.26  It Is ME  replied to  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley @2.2.9    4 weeks ago

Why is it so hard for Women to "FORCE" a Man to buy/have a cheap condom before the deed ?

 
 
 
Dulay
2.2.27  Dulay  replied to  Jack_TX @2.2.21    4 weeks ago
Nominee for "Racist Tirade of the Month".

Yet neither of you Texans saw fit to bring it to the attention of the moderators. Hmm...

 
 
 
KDMichigan
2.2.29  KDMichigan  replied to  Dulay @2.2.27    4 weeks ago
Yet neither of you Texans saw fit to bring it to the attention of the moderators. Hmm...

[deleted]

 
 
 
Dulay
2.2.30  Dulay  replied to  KDMichigan @2.2.29    4 weeks ago
Removed for context - s

Hey maybe you could justify bringing up off topic comments from prior seeds by telling us why you need to deflect ad nauseam.

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.31  Texan1211  replied to  Dulay @2.2.27    4 weeks ago
Yet neither of you Texans saw fit to bring it to the attention of the moderators. Hmm..

Would telling the mods make it less racist?

I want people to see it so they know exactly the kind of person they are dealing with.

 
 
 
Dulay
2.2.32  Dulay  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2.31    4 weeks ago
Would telling the mods make it less racist? I want people to see it so they know exactly the kind of person they are dealing with.

Flagging a comment that you deem as racist follows the forum rules that you signed onto. WHY you want what you deem as racist to remain on the forum is irrelevant. 

 
 
 
KDMichigan
2.2.33  KDMichigan  replied to  Dulay @2.2.32    4 weeks ago
WHY you want what you deem as racist to remain on the forum is irrelevant. 

Kind of like your comment to begin with. 

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.34  Texan1211  replied to  Dulay @2.2.32    4 weeks ago
Flagging a comment that you deem as racist follows the forum rules that you signed onto. WHY you want what you deem as racist to remain on the forum is irrelevant. 

I am under no obligation to flag any comment to satisfy your whims.

If you don't consider it racist, then obviously we interpreted the comment differently.

So be it.

 
 
 
Jack_TX
2.2.35  Jack_TX  replied to  Dulay @2.2.27    4 weeks ago
Yet neither of you Texans saw fit to bring it to the attention of the moderators. Hmm...

Why would I do that?  

This is America.  JBBs right to spew racism is protected by the US Constitution.

If it offends you, you can borrow a pair of my big boy pants.  I have extra.

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.36  Texan1211  replied to  KDMichigan @2.2.33    4 weeks ago

Exactly!!!!

 
 
 
squiggy
2.2.37  squiggy  replied to  Dulay @2.2.32    4 weeks ago

[Deleted]

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
2.2.38  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Jack_TX @2.2.35    4 weeks ago

If it offends you, you can borrow a pair of my big boy pants.  I have extra.

Depends   ?

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
2.2.39  igknorantzrulz  replied to  squiggy @2.2.37    4 weeks ago

Why does your metashit get to stand?

maybe his doesn't 

stink,

or their wasn't a seat   toilet    humor

stinks

 
 
 
squiggy
2.2.40  squiggy  replied to  igknorantzrulz @2.2.39    4 weeks ago

a thumb on the scale

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
2.2.41  igknorantzrulz  replied to  squiggy @2.2.40    4 weeks ago

thats the weigh 

to tick off, but i'll buy one and watch.

i've found moderation pretty fair, as there are many things i could contest, basically 99% of wht ive had removed, to date, i only inquired about one double post that earned me double tix, as it was misposted twice , within about 20 seconds

 
 
 
Dulay
2.2.42  Dulay  replied to  KDMichigan @2.2.33    4 weeks ago
Kind of like your comment to begin with.

Yet you replied to it and so did Tex. 

 
 
 
Dulay
2.2.43  Dulay  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2.34    4 weeks ago
I am under no obligation to flag any comment to satisfy your whims.

Yes, you'd rather whine about it. 

If you don't consider it racist, then obviously we interpreted the comment differently.

My comment was about YOUR comment. 

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.44  Texan1211  replied to  Dulay @2.2.42    4 weeks ago

And???

 
 
 
Dulay
2.2.45  Dulay  replied to  squiggy @2.2.37    4 weeks ago

[Deleted]

 
 
 
Dulay
2.2.46  Dulay  replied to  Jack_TX @2.2.35    4 weeks ago
Why would I do that?  

I wasn't talking to you. 

This is America.  JBBs right to spew racism is protected by the US Constitution.
If it offends you, you can borrow a pair of my big boy pants.  I have extra.

I'm not the one offended. Try to keep up. Other members whined about it, offer your extra pair to them. 

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.47  Texan1211  replied to  Dulay @2.2.43    4 weeks ago
Yes, you'd rather whine about it. 

No whining, just trying to explain to you that I am under no obligation to indulge you.

My comment was about YOUR comment. 

Interesting and telling that you didn't consider that comment I referred to as racist in the same way.

 
 
 
Dulay
2.2.48  Dulay  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2.47    4 weeks ago
No whining, just trying to explain to you that I am under no obligation to indulge you.

I didn't mean that you were whining about my comment. Of course you know that. 

Interesting and telling that you didn't consider that comment I referred to as racist in the same way.

Devolving to a strawman. Typical. 

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.49  Texan1211  replied to  Dulay @2.2.46    4 weeks ago
I wasn't talking to you.

2.2.27

Yet neither of you Texans saw fit to bring it to the attention of the moderators. Hmm...

LMFAO!

 
 
 
Dulay
2.2.50  Dulay  replied to  Texan1211 @2.2.49    4 weeks ago

My bad, I was talkin to both of you. 

His nomination seems to infer that HE was offended. It looks like both of his pairs are faulty. 

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.51  Texan1211  replied to  Dulay @2.2.48    4 weeks ago
I didn't mean that you were whining about my comment. 

Calling out a racist comment as being racist isn't whining, so WTF were you yakking about?

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.52  Texan1211  replied to  Dulay @2.2.50    4 weeks ago
My bad, I was talkin to both of you. 

Well, no shit. Which I pointed out.

 
 
 
squiggy
2.2.53  squiggy  replied to  igknorantzrulz @2.2.41    4 weeks ago

gave up caring about it

 
 
 
Texan1211
2.2.54  Texan1211  replied to  Dulay @2.2.42    4 weeks ago
Yet you replied to it and so did Tex. 

Our replies are in no way a reflection on the validity of your post.

 
 
 
Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
2.2.55  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley  replied to  It Is ME @2.2.26    4 weeks ago

Did you read what I posted? A wife in Africa does not have that right and may face violence if she tries to exert it. She does not have the right to refuse sex with her husband, so if you were her, would you face a beating each and every time he wants sex when you know he will rape you anyway?

 
 
 
Jack_TX
2.2.56  Jack_TX  replied to  Dulay @2.2.46    4 weeks ago
I wasn't talking to you. 

To which two Texans were you referring?

Other members whined about it

Identifying racism is "whining"?  You sure you want to stick to that?  

 
 
 
MUVA
2.2.57  MUVA  replied to  Jack_TX @2.2.56    4 weeks ago

You can only be a victim if you have the right party affiliation.

 
 
 
Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
2.3  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley  replied to  bbl-1 @2    4 weeks ago
After all, seems most women would feel stressed by a husband that supports the party and the ideology to take away the birth control. 

That would certainly do it, but the article discusses the stress put on wives by husbands who don't do their part around the house and, more importantly, in raising the children.

For example: When she has to pick up his clothes right along with the children's clothes, it's an additional stress she shouldn't have. If he also never helps with the laundry, that too is an additional stress.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
2.3.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley @2.3    4 weeks ago
For example: When she has to pick up his clothes right along with the children's clothes, it's an additional stress she shouldn't have. If he also never helps with the laundry, that too is an additional stress.

I never had that happen. 

 
 
 
Sunshine
2.3.2  Sunshine  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2.3.1    4 weeks ago
When she has to pick up his clothes right along with the children's clothes,

I suggest she doesn't do that.  

 
 
 
KDMichigan
2.4  KDMichigan  replied to  bbl-1 @2    4 weeks ago
There are dozens of other examples by the 'new conservatism.'

Are you insinuating that all men are conservative and that soy boys make up Liberals? 

 
 
 
Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
2.4.1  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley  replied to  KDMichigan @2.4    4 weeks ago
soy boys

I'm not familiar with that term. Can you enlighten me? Tia.

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
2.4.2  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley @2.4.1    4 weeks ago

"According to Urban Dictionary, the term soy boy means: “Slang used to describe males who completely and utterly lack all necessary masculine qualities. This pathetic state is usually achieved by an over-indulgence of emasculating products and/or ideologies."

 
 
 
Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
2.4.3  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley  replied to  Just Jim NC TttH @2.4.2    4 weeks ago

Wow. That's really hateful. I don't understand the need to be so hateful and insulting towards others.

 
 
 
†hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh
3  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh    4 weeks ago

I work 50 hours a week, do all the grocery shopping and meal planning, 100% of the cooking and have always been the primary care taker of my two sons. I am married, My wife has not worked in 22 years. I could use a little help.

We split the household chores fairly evenly but I always took the kids to the Dr apts, practices etc.

 
 
 
Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
3.1  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley  replied to  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh @3    4 weeks ago

I'm glad to hear you're so active in your family's lives and sorry that the load is so one-sided. That's usually the role women assume. Is there a reason why your wife isn't more active? It sounds like you really could use a little more help.

 
 
 
†hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh
3.1.1  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh  replied to  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley @3.1    4 weeks ago

There is certainly more background to the story Loretta but when you bring children into the world, they need what they need. My wife is a caring and loving woman but not everyone is wired the same so I willingly rose to the occasion to get the job done the best I could, The good news is I just got the kids out of school.

I believe every family and every situation is unique and I also believe gender roles in child rearing are very much changing. Either way it really doesn't matter as long as one or both parents make sure children get what they need. 

 
 
 
Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
3.1.2  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley  replied to  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh @3.1.1    4 weeks ago

Gender roles certainly are changing. I look forward to the day when roles are not assigned anywhere by gender. We should all do what we're good at, what needs to be done, or what we desire, depending upon the situation.

Grandparents are also raising or helping to raise their grandkids more than ever.

The problems arise when one person is expected to do it all or most. They end up exhausted while the other person is coasting through life. I've seen articles and forum discussions where women say the sexiest turn on is the sight of their loved one doing chores because it means they are well loved and appreciated.

 
 
 
r.t..b...
3.1.3  r.t..b...  replied to  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley @3.1.2    4 weeks ago
their loved one doing chores because it means they are well loved and appreciated.

Such a simple premise but such a foreign concept to too many. As a stay-at-home dad, the comments I received were mostly well-meaning, but some were downright prehistoric. We had a large yard and had landscapers hired to maintain it, much to the dismay of a neighbor. He was aghast that I would not do such a manly chore myself, citing the break from my boys would be healthy for all of us. I offered him the job at the same price asking if he wanted even more time away from his kids. He actually gave it serious consideration...

 
 
 
Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
3.1.4  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley  replied to  r.t..b... @3.1.3    4 weeks ago

LOL. That's amazing. Hiring out work is great no matter what the work is. It saves your energy and time. I used enjoy gardening, but my back now says "Do it and you'll pay." I've learned to listen.

I don't understand why people in this day and age are still clinging to the sex role dynamics. We should be shedding them like crazy. Why do things just because you're a woman or a man? Makes no sense to me.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
4  Perrie Halpern R.A.    4 weeks ago

Loretta, I have to tell you, that my husband was always a huge roll in raising our twin girls from day 1. He worked (so did I), and grandma's pitched in on the days that I worked, but when it came to sharing the housework and raising the girls, my hubby did his fair share. I know many men who are the same way. 

The actual study that I found interesting is the number of parents who said they wouldn't have kids again if they knew what they knew now. I can see why. While I love my kids, and I am very proud of their achievements, when it comes to how they are to mom and dad, I am not sure they will be the kind of kids we are to our parents. They were also a great source of stress in the marriage. 

https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-22/edition-4/think-having-children-will-make-you-happy

https://bigthink.com/sex-relationships/should-you-have-kids?rebelltitem=1#rebelltitem1

 
 
 
Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
4.1  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @4    4 weeks ago

Your hubbie sounds like a gem. So glad you have him.

I've seen the same studies. Ann Landers did a poll in 1976, asking her readers the same type of questions. She did it after a couple wrote in asking if they should forego children. Instead of answering herself, she asked her readers what they thought. She was shocked by the replies which were substantially as you stated. Of course, it wasn't a scientific survey, and those who wouldn't do it again might have been more motivated to reply.

Here's a portion of that column:

After five days of reading, counting, and sorting mail, a bleary-eyed staff of eight secretaries announced we had received over 10,000 responses, and--are you ready for this--70 percent of those who wrote said, "No. If I had it to do over again, I would not have children."

Twenty years of writing the Ann Landers column has made me positively shockproof. Or so I thought. But I was wrong. The results of that poll left me stunned, disturbed, and just plain flummoxed.

Could it be? Not only could it be, it is. The message came through loud and clear. Wake up and smell the coffee, Annie old girl. Your readers had blown the American Dream. Motherhood, which always rated right up there with apple pie, Old Glory and the U.S. Marines was due for a reassessment.

About 40 percent of those who wrote to say, "No. I would not have children if I had it to do over again," didn''t sign their names. On the other hand, nearly all the letter that said, "Yes. Our children have brought us great happiness," bore signatures. A number of those who expressed the latter view asked me to print their letters. Many said, "You can use my name if you want to."

Approximately 80 percent of the total response came from women. The average letter ran almost a page longer than the usual Landers letter. I was particularly moved by the intensity of feeling.

Dozens who wrote said, "I am weeping as I write this. It''s the first time I have ever put such thoughts about my children down on paper. It''s painful."

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/if-you-had-to-do-it-all-over-again-would-you-have-children.116488/

 
 
 
jungkonservativ111
5  jungkonservativ111    4 weeks ago

"Single moms have the highest levels of stress because they don’t have enough support from their spouses"

This article is very odd. Seems like the purpose is to show men how much they stress out their women, but then you point out that mothers without men have the highest levels of stress. It's a tale as old as time. Women in relationships like to blame all of their problems and shortcomings on the men in their life. Then once they convince themselves they aren't the issue and dump their men, they find out the reality that their shortcomings are their own issue and now they really have no help. I experienced this in my own life. My ex wife tried to say it was my fault she never got some good job and had a successful career. I had to laugh when she said this as I always encouraged her to get better jobs, and I helped her graduate college as her math was atrocious(she would not have passed without my tutoring and she acknowledged it herself many times). I always earned more than twice as much as her and it was not because I have different genitalia than her. I would spend my free time studying for certifications, work over time at my job to move myself up. She never did anything with her spare time that was career focused, and didn't even get a job for the degree she got. So this is why I tend to not credit women who try to blame their problems in life on the men in their life, but then will try to turn around and talk about how strong and independent they are. Maybe it's all the political and media pressure on women to be strong and independent, even if they don't have the ability to. Some women need a man even if they don't want to have to admit it. Man shaming is such a common thing. You see it on commercials, shows, movies, politics and so on. It's so predominate that I think many women actually believe all men are dumb and the source of all their problems. Very dangerous mentality.

 
 
 
Jack_TX
5.1  Jack_TX  replied to  jungkonservativ111 @5    4 weeks ago
This article is very odd.

Women complaining about housework and husbands?  Why would that be odd?  

Seems like the purpose is to show men how much they stress out their women, but then you point out that mothers without men have the highest levels of stress.

You spotted that, did you?  Did you catch the part where single moms supposedly have spouses?

 
 
 
MUVA
5.1.1  MUVA  replied to  Jack_TX @5.1    4 weeks ago

They mean babies daddy.

 
 
 
Jack_TX
5.1.2  Jack_TX  replied to  MUVA @5.1.1    4 weeks ago
They mean babies daddy.

So....is he supposed to drop by 3x a week and do the dishes?  What do they expect, actually?

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
5.1.3  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Jack_TX @5.1.2    4 weeks ago

A dishwasher

 
 
 
MUVA
5.1.4  MUVA  replied to  Jack_TX @5.1.2    4 weeks ago

They are lucky if they have it narrow down to 4 or 5 guys if they got all the potential daddies to pitch in she would never have to do house work. 

 
 
 
KDMichigan
6  KDMichigan    4 weeks ago

I had a hard time finding the source of this study, still haven't found it, but your article on a article that  I followed to this article does have a key factor that yours left out.

In 2012, TODAY surveyed fifteen hundred fathers on the same parenting issues. The consensus among dads is that they are doing more for their families than ever before, up to a full half of the parenting and household responsibilities, but feel their efforts are unacknowledged and disrespected by their wives and society as a whole. (These same men’s wives’ perspectives were quite different when it came to estimating the division of labor, providing supporting evidence on this point.)
Over half the men surveyed said they’d just like a spoken acknowledgement-“good job” every once in a while would be encouraging and reflect appreciation for their efforts. (8) While many mothers might roll their eyes at this, modern parents have to recognize that roles and responsibilities have changed drastically over the past sixty years and it wasn’t long ago that a father didn’t-and wasn’t expected to-wash a dish or change a diaper. The fact that most dads today are willing to do (almost) anything for the children is a tremendous change.
https://dailyhealthpost.com/husbands-stress-women-twice-as-much-as-children/3/

In my experience I don't see this article being a true representative of what "Duty's" Men perform. I do cleaning chores, cooking, lawn maintenance, house maintenance, car maintenance, pay for activities. And it seems like most guys I know who "stress" their wives do the same thing.

I'm guessing that the unknown source of this study is from some butt hurt feminist that currently spends all her free time telling everyone how much she hates President Trump sporting her Pussy hat and vagina costume.

 
 
 
Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley
6.1  seeder  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley  replied to  KDMichigan @6    4 weeks ago
Over half the men surveyed said they’d just like a spoken acknowledgement-“good job” every once in a while

I wonder if these men told their wives "good job" every once in a while.

Here's an article that says men are stepping up more with the children, but not with housework. It also brings up a bugaboo for many women: if men do the same thing a woman does, he's considered special and given more credit than his female counterpart because she's seen as doing what women are supposed to do.

This is from the article, which is well-written and explores the topic in depth:

Meanwhile, everywhere, men get special credit for the chores they do do, because their contribution gets assessed at “the going rate”, as the sociologist Arlie Hochschild put it in her 1989 book The Second Shift : if a man does a bit more than the notional average man in his community, he’s viewed as exceptionally helpful.

https://www.theguardian.com/inequality/2018/feb/17/dirty-secret-why-housework-gender-gap

 
 
 
Jack_TX
6.1.1  Jack_TX  replied to  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley @6.1    4 weeks ago
It also brings up a bugaboo for many women: if men do the same thing a woman does, he's considered special and given more credit than his female counterpart because she's seen as doing what women are supposed to do.

If that is something they're worried about, they have very easy lives.

 
 
 
MUVA
6.1.2  MUVA  replied to  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley @6.1    4 weeks ago

Me and my wife have a deal I do all the really hard work in the weather 12 to 16 hours a day at our business and she gets the maid to do most of the house work.

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
6.1.3  igknorantzrulz  replied to  MUVA @6.1.2    4 weeks ago

sounds like you've got it maid

 
 
 
Sunshine
6.1.4  Sunshine  replied to  MUVA @6.1.2    4 weeks ago
she gets the maid to do most of the house work.

ha...it must be your fault she needs one jrSmiley_4_smiley_image.png

 
 
 
MUVA
6.1.5  MUVA  replied to  Sunshine @6.1.4    4 weeks ago

You know it I have one rule at home I do no work.To be honest my wifes works at the business she does the books payroll and handles the government contracts and customer service she deserves a maid.   

 
 
 
MUVA
6.1.6  MUVA  replied to  igknorantzrulz @6.1.3    4 weeks ago

With grow kids and just two of the boys living at home the house stays pretty clean. 

 
 
 
Sunshine
6.1.7  Sunshine  replied to  MUVA @6.1.5    4 weeks ago
You know it I have one rule at home I do no work.

I was just teasing you.  Couples need to work out what is best for them and their family's situation. 

 
 
 
MUVA
6.1.8  MUVA  replied to  Sunshine @6.1.7    4 weeks ago

We have it all worked out she tells me what to do and I do it.

 
 
 
TTGA
6.1.9  TTGA  replied to  MUVA @6.1.8    4 weeks ago
We have it all worked out she tells me what to do and I do it.

You use that system too?  Same here; that's why I'm still married after almost 48 years.

 
 
 
MUVA
6.1.10  MUVA  replied to  TTGA @6.1.9    4 weeks ago

I'm going on 33 now I have known my wife since we were 8 and 9 years old but we didn't date till after I got out of high school.

 
 
 
KDMichigan
6.1.11  KDMichigan  replied to  Loretta Mashkawide'e Kemsley @6.1    4 weeks ago

So basically it's just hate all men for you?

If he doesn't do household chores he is a asshole, If he does do household chores he is a "he thinks he is special" asshole. Got it.

I don't expect a good boy pat on the back if I do something or flowers. 

 
 
 
Freefaller
7  Freefaller    4 weeks ago

Lol while I see no reason to doubt the overall veracity of the article as a single father of two I know if I didn't do the chores the chores or at least harp on the kids to help they simply wouldn't get done.

 
 
 
Freefaller
8  Freefaller    4 weeks ago

Not equating the two but out of idle curiosity but do any of the women here or guys spouses help out with home repairs, automotive stuff, lawn mowing, snow shovelling, general lifting of heavy stuff, etc (traditional mens duties). I know that while I had a wife these sorts of things were definitely my job.

 
 
 
MUVA
8.1  MUVA  replied to  Freefaller @8    4 weeks ago

Don't you know how hard it is to throw clothes in  a washing machine or vaccum ,put dishes in a dishwasher what do you do with the other 23 hours in the day.

 
 
 
JBB
8.1.1  JBB  replied to  MUVA @8.1    4 weeks ago

[deleted..]

 
 
 
MUVA
8.1.2  MUVA  replied to  JBB @8.1.1    4 weeks ago

I went to work at 5 am and got home at about 745pm today that is 14 hours and yes it is nice thanks for asking. 

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
8.1.3  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  MUVA @8.1.2    4 weeks ago

OK, guys, these comments are all way to personal so knock it off. Only warning. 

 
 
 
JaneDoe
8.2  JaneDoe  replied to  Freefaller @8    4 weeks ago
out of idle curiosity but do any of the women here or guys spouses help out with home repairs, automotive stuff, lawn mowing, snow shovelling, general lifting of heavy stuff, etc (traditional mens duties). 

Absolutely!

Home repairs, yes.  I have helped my husband hang drywall, lay porcelain tile and assisted on some mirror plumbing jobs. I do all the painting inside and out.

Automotive, yes. The basics. Change a tire or the oil.

I have even been known to mow the lawn and shovel snow (no more of that snow now that we moved) but I find it to be good exercise.

Heavy lifting... I try 

 
 
 
MUVA
8.2.1  MUVA  replied to  JaneDoe @8.2    4 weeks ago

My wife loves to do construction and weeds the flower beds and weed wacks  before the yard guy can do it.

 
 
 
JaneDoe
8.2.2  JaneDoe  replied to  MUVA @8.2.1    4 weeks ago
My wife loves to do construction and weeds the flower beds and weed wacks  before the yard guy can do it.

She sounds a bit like me. I love doing projects, making something old look new again.

Since we relocated a few months back we do have a yard service but very much like your wife I am out there doing this or that all the time. My husband just shakes his head and says “ You know we have someone to do that”

 
 
 
Kathleen
8.2.3  Kathleen  replied to  JaneDoe @8.2.2    4 weeks ago

I like painting, I have done that while my husband moved things around for me. We both shoveled. We just moved a few months ago so we won’t be getting as much snow, but tons of leaves though. We take the cars to be serviced. Sometimes it feels good to do these things.

 
 
 
JaneDoe
8.2.4  JaneDoe  replied to  Kathleen @8.2.3    4 weeks ago
I like painting, I have done that while my husband moved things around for me. We both shoveled. We just moved a few months ago so we won’t be getting as much snow, but tons of leaves though. 

We just moved a couple months ago also. Even though I didn’t really mind it, I won’t miss the snow shoveling. 🥶 Brrrr

I actually love to paint. I did our old house inside and out right before we sold it. I am just about to get started on changing our current doors from a brown to a nice bright orange. 😁

Best wishes in your new place. Enjoy the beautiful leaves before they fall and you have to rake. 

 
 
 
pat wilson
8.3  pat wilson  replied to  Freefaller @8    4 weeks ago

But did you do any of those things every day ? every two days ? or even every 3 days ?

 
 
 
Freefaller
8.3.1  Freefaller  replied to  pat wilson @8.3    4 weeks ago

Can't really answer your question as with the exception of mowing the lawn all the other things are as required.  ie snow shovelling can be every day for months and then nothing for months, just spent pretty much every day for the past month putting up a new back deck but it had been nearly a year since the last house project. 

However your point is a good one and well taken, note my intent was not to bitch but just curiosity.  

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
8.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  Freefaller @8    4 weeks ago

I think I've shared this story.

We had received significant snowfall here in the South. Significant here is anything over an inch.

Anyway, he said I couldn't shovel the driveway. Our driveway is approximately 300 feet long. I said watch me.

I shoveled it. Cobalt Blue said Mr Giggles knows how to work me. She laughs at that story every time.

 
 
 
Freefaller
8.4.1  Freefaller  replied to  Trout Giggles @8.4    4 weeks ago

I remember the story, it's a good one

 
 
 
Kathleen
9  Kathleen    4 weeks ago

My husband and I share the duties around the house. Also there are things he likes doing and I like doing. He does the laundry, and I cook. He cuts the grass, I trim and decorate the outside and inside.  We both clean. I feed the cat, he cleans the litter box. If something needs to be fixed, we try, or call someone. When he was working more, I did more around the house. When I worked more, he did more around the house. He also along with his sister takes care of his mother. He cleans her and dresses her when it’s his turn. He also helped and changed our daughters diapers too.  He is not the kind of man that thinks “ this is a woman’s thing”. My dad was the same way, he cooked too. 

So it really depends on the person, not so much the sex.

 
 
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