Trump Defends Himself In His Own Words
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
satire
In My Defense
The words that I was supposed to have said, I never said them. You must have heard wrong. Do you believe your ears or what I’m telling you now? And even if I had said them, I didn’t mean them. I was just testing the person on the other end of the line to see if he was corrupt and willing to help out. We have to do that. There are too many people in this world in different countries that are bad guys or will try to play the U.S. for suckers. So I have to be sure they’re ok when I’m dealing with people in other nations that I don’t know very well. But they’re not aware who they’re trying to scam.
And what if I did say that to him? Is it wrong to ask someone for a favor? Everyone does it. I didn’t put any pressure on him. Ask him and he’ll tell you that. I need to try and fight corruption wherever I find it. I have lawyers like Bill Barr and Rudy Guiliani helping me. Top guys. They know the law and what’s right and wrong. They wouldn’t do anything illegal. I also have Vlady Putin giving me advice. He’s from that region and knows the culture well. He told me that if I gave the Ukrainians money and weapons and didn’t ask for something in return, they would think that I was weak or stupid. So maybe I asked for a favor to show them that I knew what I was doing.
And anyway, I didn’t hold up the weapons for very long. I also have to make sure that the weapons and the money wind up in the right hands. Ukraine is a bigly country somewhere near Italy where the Mafia run the place. If Ukrainian officials are helping with my investigation, then I know that they’re honest and I can depend on them. The money won’t get to the Mafia. And this guy Zelensky is new to politics and may not know how to do things. So I have to test him. Can you believe that the guy used to be a comedian before he was elected president of Ukraine? How can they elect someone from show business to run a country? A comedian, no less. What does he know about business or politics?
Anyway, I didn’t do anything wrong if I asked for a favor which I didn’t. Leaders of powerful countries do that all the time. And as president, I can do anything I want. Just ask my Attorney General Bill Barr. He knows the law and the Constitution inside out. And Mick Mulvaney. The call I made was perfect. Look at the transcript. Now the Democrats are trying to crucify me for that. Do you think this would happen in a country like Russia with a strong leader? They let their leader run the country as he sees fit. That’s the way it should be here. But good luck trying to do anything with Pelosi and Shifty Shiff trying to look over my shoulder. It’s not right having this Congressional oversight and allowing them to try and impeach me. I’m the president. Got elected by the American people in one of the biggest landslides of all times.
And look at all the great things I’ve done. The economy is at an all time high. No new wars. I should be able to do what I want. Anyway, I never did anything wrong or anything I should be impeached for. The Mueller report turned out to be a dud so the Democrats looked for something new. But it’s all bullshit. The Republicans in the Senate won’t let them remove me from office. Mitch McConnell is my man. And I’m going to whip the Democratic asses again in 2020. They’re making a big mistake with this impeachment thing. Resurrecting Democracy
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This has to be from a satirical news site.....right? This is like a 12 year old trying to explain why he got caught cheating on a test.
Sounds like what Trump is thinking, if not saying out loud all the time.
The article is from The Moderate Voice , which is a center-left news and commentary site.
Satire? Suppose so.
Today the EPA relaxed the rules on dumping coal ash into the wind and streams.
There is no satire in opening up the Tongass National Forest to mining and logging. There is zero credibility in any human who possesses a locust mindset.
Yep, that's why trump hired a coal lobbyist to run the EPA. Which makes as much sense as hiring Scott Peterson to head up Fish and Wildlife.
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Lot of that going around these days.
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Study: US air pollution deaths increased by 9,700 a year from 2016 to 2018
The increase might be due to overly lax policies from both Trump and Obama.
Kind of hard to blame Obama when 'Moscow Mitch' as Obama was sworn in stated that, "They would stop anything he tried." And the republicans were successful more often than not.
Shame ya'll seem to forget Barry's famous words to Putin - "Wait 'til I'm sworn in - I'll have a lot more leeway."
So he gave them Ukraine and Crimea.
liar