Native American Home Etiquette
Native Americans from the Atlantic to the Pacific and the Arctic to the Tropics were quite cordial and rather kind to guests in the home. Europeans and later Americans noticed certain mannerisms concerning a guest at home that was far beyond their own concept of providing hospitality.
Even after the massive persecution from both Europeans and later Americans the indigenous people of North America were still quite benevolent to each other and even the White Man when it came to having guests in the house.
Here are some very general policies that were common among many Tribes across Native America. One must remember that these are not set in stone and are not laws as there were vast differences among all Native American Nations.
Among the Eastern Woodland Peoples it was common to always have a large container of food on or near the lodge fire. 
In the North East this container was usually a very large calabash (gourd) or wood bowl kept simmering via hot stones and full of some kind of food stew. This was typically a stew of meat or fish with vegetables. When one was obliged they would partake of the stew and eat. The stew was retained by always replacing what had been taken. For example if a piece of meat or fish was removed a piece of meat or fish was added. If stock was removed then water and other fillers or thickeners was added and so forth.
Among the South East Nations a large earthen clay container of hominy (grits) was always available on the fire in a lodge and some dried or smoked meat or fish was also kept nearby.
For many Native American Nations there was no set meal time. Whenever one was hungry they dipped in the containers and had something to eat. This was often referred to as The Eternal Cooking Meal as described by Europeans and later Americans. After White Contact the original containers were replaced with metal trade goods of iron, tin, brass and copper.
Guests were always fed. In fact the normal greeting for guests was not Hello or How are you doing or even Good to see you it was always Have you eaten?
Even in the leanest of times it was the duty of the clans/families to do their best to keep The Eternal Cooking Meal. One can easily assume that this was very hard to do in a bitter winter or a very dry summer yet it amazed the White Man that the accumulating, conserving, storage and distribution of food stuffs by Native Americans during very sparse times was nothing more than remarkable.
GUEST RESPONSIBILITIES
If the lodge door is open one may enter directly but if the door is closed one shouldannounce their presence and wait for theinvitation to enter.
Follow the customs of the lodge and not ones own. Remember to follow the rules of the house not necessarily the territory.
Accept any food offered.
Be grateful for any and all offers from the host.
Bestow great respect to the Woman of the lodge as she is the keeper of the flame.
Compliment the host.
Give thanks to The Creator for hospitality.
Never worry host with guest troubles.
Present the host with a gift.
Repay calls of courtesy and do not delay in communication.
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Such simple tools that lead to great and lasting friendships.
Great Ambi - thanks.
Great article ambiv. Simple rules, lasting friendships.
Great article, Ambi. Thanks. Come to my house you get choice of salmon, halibut or codfish. Or malted milk balls, Hershey kisses, or strawberry wafers.
VERY interesting article amb,,they all make sense to me! Good find....thanks for posting!!
dd.....what tiem is dinner??
If you come to my house, you will be served spaghetti, but DON'T cut the pasta upwith a knife!!!
Anytime for dinner. I have fish about three times a week.Do you twirl the spaghetti on the fork? Would hate to be accused of a social faux pas at Nonas'.
I love fish! I'm on my way!!.....Yes, the pastais to be twirled, and then slurped it into your mouth (j/k about the slurping...that's optional)
Cutting spaghetti is an insult to the cook, it signifies that the pasts is not cooked properly.
amb!! Homemade soups...homemade bread......I would think I died and went to Heaven!!
(I'm packing right now)
The second knock on the door will be me! Homemade soup and bread was a staple when I was growing up. Is that fresh made bread I smell cooling on the countertop?
What lovely customs-- and those are guaranteed to produce long-lasting friendships. To me, this makes perfect sense.
Er, I don't cook in my kitchen any more-- I'm not fond of it, but I will treat anyone that comes to see me! If it's warm, we'll go to the spot down by the river, Cunningham's, where you can sit outside and watch the boats go by. If its cold and nasty out, we'll go to one of the great places that have fireplaces.
ambiv, if the pot leeks how do you keep the soup in it?
Inquiring minds want to know.
I can't remember the name of the hurricane, but yet-- that's such a fun place! Peaceful and relaxing! Or we could go to Captain's Quarters on the river, and watch the boats go by... Such fun!
her, I'll rub noses with. You BF, not so much.
groan..
Well, I've been doing it right all these years-- in one way at least. When guests eat in our home, they sit to the left of John, my husband, the host. Although it's not at the back of the teepee, it is at the back of the dining room.
Whew!
Right behind ya Kavika
You often see these customs enacted in the pueblos around here and out by Window Rock and Monument Valley. Never approach a hogan and knock on the door. Drive up and park 30 or 40 or so yards away, get out of your car and wait. They heard you drive up. Should they desire visitors, they will come out and motion you to come over to the hogan. You might not get inside, that's their home and sanctuary, but they will visit with you on the doorstep. If you are buying rugs or jewelry, they will bring you inside to look at their collection and you will probably be offered tea or water.
Privacy is highly valued by the pueblo Indians. One can be sitting right by you and he will ignore you, but he's not ignoring you, in reality. He is giving you your privacy. If you look at him and nod, he will engage with you. It's all so simple, but it's a good way.
Oh, you poor thing, badfish. I'll rub noses with you if you really need it.
I didn't know that, Gunny. We don't have teepees around here. Good information. So if you hear a scratching on your home, it's me.
One thing the pueblo Indians don't like is if you stand to close to them when you are talking to them. They are like us Scots - keep your fucking distance, dude. Personal space is extremely important, especially for the Indian women.
Another thing the Pueblo Indians do that I really like is when you are far apart and you want to talk to each other, you wait until you are close by. Europeans start yelling at you when they are far away. You just don't see Indians doing that. If you want to talk to me, wait till you get here - don't yell at me from way over there, that's just rude.
You are such a crank, Gunny.
Personal space is important. I noticed that you were aware of that when we were together for the vinemeet. You just didn't invade people's personal space. You were very conscious of that and I appreciate it. Yeah, I notice stuff like that.
I bet you were that way before the Marines and college. It's the Indian in you. It's a good way to be as far as I'm concerned. Boundries - you over there, me here.
I don't like people in my face either, I will just keep moving backwards until they stay a decent distance away from me.
But I bet if you had the chance you would go skinny dippin like the Indians do at Indian lake.
As long as there are no fish in the water...
I was skinny dippin in a lake and got nibbled by something fairly big. Scared the holy living crap outa me. I mean really. I was walking on the water trying to get back to shore. There's nothing funnier than a naked guy who's freaking out and waving his arms and legs around looking like a fool. So I'm told, anyway.
I'm doing my best not to picture this in my head...
We always swam in the lakes... When we had our boat, if it got too hot, we got in the water. Of course there were people fishing along the shore. I guess I'm silly, but it never bothered me that there were fish in a lake. It's part of a healthy ecosystem.
Aw, go ahead and picture it.
Of course, the carefully and horrified "checking to see if any of the nibbled bits were missing" was goofy lookin', too. hee hee hee.
Oh NO !!! What if it was BADFISH ?????
Oh NO !!! What if it was BADFISH ?????
giggles
That's exactly why I wouldn't skinny di where there are fish.....YIKES!!
We could all benefit from following these mores! I've bookmarked this-- thanks for sharing it with us!
Wonderful and very informative article! Thank for posting it.
Guests were always fed. In fact the normal greeting for guests was not Hello or How are you doing or even Good to see you it was always Have you eaten?
As I have discovered since I married my Jewish wife, those are frequently the first words you hear when arriving at one of their houses too.
She is very beautiful! Like so many of our indian friends!
BF, I'll rub noses with you-- but you may not want to. I still have my cold from January...
I've got that space thing, too.
Most people can't get in my face when they're talking to me-- they have to content themselves with looking down at the top of my head. But, I find it intimidating, too.