What happens when humans aren't allowed to touch each other?
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
What happens when humans aren't allowed to touch each other?
We're human Lego blocks, built to interlock.
We lose a lot when we can't physically touch someone. (Photo: JHDT Productions/Shutterstock)
One of the prevailing theories about why the handshake emerged as a form of greeting thousands of years ago was to prove neither party was carrying a weapon.
But these days, it seems moot, considering the real weapon isn't in our hands, though it might be on them.
That's a pretty compelling reason why humans need contact — handshakes, hugs and heaven forbid, kisses — is highly frowned upon during a pandemic. But what price do we pay for being physically disconnected from one another? After all, humans were designed to interlock in one way or another, like a newborn baby clinging to a finger.
As adults, physical contact "solidifies something — an introduction, a salutation, a feeling, empathy," Michelle Fiordalis writes in a New York Times essay .
These days in particular, that last quality — empathy — is especially vital. We can be isolated from another, but we have to be able to feel a sense that we're all weathering this storm together. How do we create that sense of a shared experience when we can't touch one another?
Touch conveys emotion
A simple touch can convey a lot of information. (Photo: fizkes/Shutterstock)
As a recent experiment led by Berkeley professor Dacher Keltner points out, we literally make connections through our fingertips. Keltner and his colleagues put a barrier between two people. They asked one of those people to convey different emotions through a one-second touch of the other person's forearm. That other person had to guess the emotion.
Here's how Keltner describes the results :
"Given the number of emotions being considered, the odds of guessing the right emotion by chance were about eight percent. But remarkably, participants guessed compassion correctly nearly 60 percent of the time. Gratitude, anger, love, fear — they got those right more than 50 percent of the time as well."
A fundamental human need
A man and a woman hug each other while sitting down (Photo: freestocks.org [CC by 1.0] /Flickr)
Touch also plays another even more pivotal role in our lives. It literally provides pain relief , something we could right about now. People are dying. Funerals for loved ones are no longer possible, never mind the hugs or hand-holding or any commiseration at all.
These days, we're starving for the most fundamental human needs: to touch and to be touched. Is a hug too much to ask?
America's top infectious disease expert thinks so.
At the onset of the pandemic, Dr. Anthony Fauci, America's top infectious disease expert, only "half seriously" suggested we may never shake hands again.
Fauci is probably right. The handshake has outlived its social usefulness. It's now more laden with potential threats than a hidden dagger could ever be. But we've already discovered other ways to physically connect with a stranger — a well-timed elbow bump, for example.
In time, the elbow bump may become the new handshake — but we're not there yet. (Photo: Linda Bestwick/Shutterstock)
Because, whether it's hands, or bodies or lips, we're human Lego blocks — built to interlock. And as soon as we get the chance, we'll make up for lost time.
And if you're lucky enough to be in lockdown with someone you love, what are you waiting for?
"Most people want to feel understood and communication is the vehicle by which they transmit understanding and empathy," David Klow, a marriage and family therapist, tells PsychCentral . "Non-verbal communication can be a very powerful way to say to your partner, 'I get you.' Cuddling is a way of saying, 'I know how you feel.' It allows us to feel known by your partner in ways that words can't convey.
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What will Trump do if he can no longer grab a pussy?
For those of you who missed the point - I was making a joke about "touching" which is the topic of the article.
Be very careful here my friend. You have heard of the old adage: "Tell me what company you keep and I'll tell you who you are."
There is nothing lower than the Trump hating left.
You may not want to defend China this way.
Well there is a lot of overlap between spreading CCP propaganda and hating Donald Trump. It's a win win to combine the two.
Although the irony of Dems voters fawning over a guy who has a criminal complaint filed against him for literally grabbing a victim by the pussy can provides at least some amusement in this time of crises. They spend four years in hysterics over something Trump SAID and now support someone who faces a credible accusation of ACTUALLY DOING what they attacked Trump for talking about.
Arent you the same guy who recently said Trump is not dishonest and not a grifter?
As Tucker Carlson reminds us periodically: Whatever they claim others are doing is exactly what they are doing
I'm addressing this to both you and Sean, so I don't have to repeat it, although I've said the same thing more than once.
I think it's pretty obvious and now I've made it even MORE obvious by changing my avatar that Trump is not my president. What has Trump done to benefit me, when in fact most of what he has done has hurt me? All along, the only thing he did that I thought was good was to support Israel more than any POTUS had ever done, and for that reason I had never said anything bad about him. I'll not belabour the fact that he's the least dignified POTUS I've ever been aware of (although that obviously is not a problem to Ameicans since he was elected.) But first of all he bullied Trudeau into giving up some of Canada's benefit in NAFTA, whch reduced the value of the Canadian dollar's conversion rate, and that cost me money. But I didn't say anything. Then he started a trade war with China that made some things I needed or wanted more expensive, and that has been costing me money. But I didn't say anything. (I'm beginning to sound like Pastor Martin Neimoller) In the meantime I had to bear being called a Trumpster on this site because I agreed ONLY with what he had done for Israel. Then covid-19 happened, and he and his supporters started calling the virus "Kung Flu" or "China virus" or "Chinese virus" or "Wuhan virus" notwithstanding it had been pointed out that it is wrong to use a geographical name for a virus or disease because it willl cause xenophobia and racism AND IN FACT IT DID - Chinese Americans have been harrassed, even attacked. I have friends in America who are married to Chinese women, and I worry about them. That was the straw that broke this camel's back. I don't like that man and I'm not afraid to make that very clear. Of course there's been discrimination against the Chinese ever since the railroad workers were imported when the cross-country rails were being laid. Although it's been quiet (sort of like "Gentlleman's Agreement" quiet) he has succeeded in arousing it. I am married to a Chinese woman, and even in Canada Chinese people were very kind and good to me and I live in China where I am respected and treated well by everyone from government officials and police down to the street vendors and farmers and know better what is happening here than most, so that is why, although I am not and have never been a Communist and do NOT support the CCP as I am entirely apolitical in China as is my wife and her whole family, all I have been doing here has been attempting to correct from personal knowledge the misinformation and lies that have been told about the virus and its effects here, only to be called by implication a "commie sympathizer" and "comrade".
Although I'm now being accused of supporting Biden, I was NEVER a supporter of Biden. And the Democratic Party that contains (and protects) people like Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib and other antisemites is not so attractive to me as well. Had Bloomberg been the Democratic candidate I would have preferred to see him lead that party. Although I have been supportive of the Conservative parties in Canada for the past 40 years I still have liberal beliefs, such as a woman's choice for abortion, very strict gun controls (and the first massive shooting in Canada for decades has underlined that belief and I'm happy to see that Trudeau is now going to make them even stricter) and universal single payer healthcare, so I am not and have never been devoted to the conservatism as practised in the USA. Now I am being attacked on thenewstalkers because I'm open about my dislike of Trump for damn good reasons and so I hope he will be defeated in 2020 even if Alfred E. Neuman or Pogo were running against him. So to those who now don't like me and criticize me because I don't support their "dear leader", "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" and I will continue to defy your attacks against me for making my feelings known. I'm not directing this to all conservatives on this site, as some are intelligent, understanding, and don't attack me because of my situation or my feelings and continue to be my friends.
My old friend, Iv'e always treated you with respect. However, I have no intention of sitting back and letting anyone post Communist China's lies, especially after what they just allowed to be unleashed on the world. Iv'e been very fair to you, not only because you are a friend, but because you happen to live under that evil regime. If you want to know what an attack is like, just read how I deal with the progressives on here who have been defending the Chinese government. Don't bother telling me that it's racist to stand up to China. Then our friendship will end and I'll put you in the same category as I place those degenerates on the left.
I havent seen anyone on Newstalkers defend the Chinese government (with the possible exception of Buzz, who lives there).
The demented political right, particularly the extreme right , has jumped on the "get China" bandwagon for political reasons. All of a sudden , we see "communist" used all over Newstalkers in various seeds and comments, whereas it hadnt appeared as much for years, if ever, since the site began.
I am always up for a fight so it doesnt bother me , but it is correct to point out what is actually behind all this. Trump cant call Biden a socialist, because it would be silly and seen as such, so he needs a new tactic, and that is to try and paint Biden and other Democrats as having an affinity with "communist" China. Commie commie commie. LOL. The majority of Americans dont think like you Vic, thank god. Deal with it.
I call that Exhibit A
Thank you John, you've done it again!
As you know, Vic, I've been critical of the CCP for a few things and was not afraid to post them on NT. However, I will still challenge a member who says something about the CCP that I know is an outright lie, so maybe in that regard I DO defend them. I don't believe some of the criticisms that are posted or I might indicate some things they do that I think are good, like defeating extreme poverty in China, and working towards defeating poverty as well. I don't hate the CCP because I have no fear of them, and I have no reason to fear them, for the reasons I've explained. But that's all about the government. I will defend the Chinese people even if that angers you. By the way, Vic, have you ever been to China?
I don't think I've ever seen Buzz defend the actual government of China, but he has defended the Chinese people who ARE NOT the government.
Didn't see any defense of China in either the article nor in his comment in 1.0.
Why did you have to bring it up?
And how many times have I told you I have no problem with the Chinese people. It's probably close to every discussion of this topic! So why would that anger me Buzz?
By the way, Vic, have you ever been to China?
No, so do tell, why is that going to be important?
I've been critical of the CCP for a few things and was not afraid to post them on NT.
As far as that goes, I'd prefer you wouldn't.
I don't hate the CCP because I have no fear of them, and I have no reason to fear them, for the reasons I've explained.
Good for you, but don't tell me that a famine killed all the people that Mao murdered.
Still friends?
In Post 1.0? Nope, not there. Try post # 1.1.6.
You haven't been following Buzz's recent contributions?
Been correct ? Yes, it happens all the time.
Obviously, neither have you since #1.0 is before #1.1.6 and your response chiding him about his comments on China was in post # 1.1.
Were you attempting to be a mind reader?
Of course.
If I have ever appeared to have defended the CCP, it was only to correct a misconception or lie that I knew was a misconception or lie because I happen to be in China and the liar doesn't know the truth because they are not here and are only saying what they have been misled to say.
People freaked out when Aids first appeared too. As more data becomes available and it is starting to look like this might not be any more lethal than the regular flu people will return to normal.
The death rate in the US (for confirmed cases) is over 5%. In other countries it is quite a bit higher.
What is the death rate for the flu?
Without mitigation, about 200 million Americans would get this virus. Hundreds of thousands would die.
The problem is the antibody tests are showing the data was inaccurate and possibly eighty times as many people as officially being reported to have the virus might have it. A number of these new studies are showing the data is not reliable and the real death rate might be much lower.
Dean,
This is all hypothetical but here is something to consider. We here in NY have weathered many a bad flu season (we just had one) and never were our hospitals even near capacity. This flooded our hospitals and we had to use additional temp hospitals. Our mortality rate is over what is normal for a full flu season within 45 days. So far this week, we went from 40,000 to 45.700 and we are just midweek. Just do the math. Our doctors and nurses are on duty nonstop. So I am not sure how anyone can make these predictions, when the very numbers of ill, contradicts it.
Didn't AIDS start in America, and it spread all over the world? Has anyone sued America because of that?
Oh I forgot you can't look things like that up. But AIDS is thought to have originated in Africa coming from monkeys.
Did America sue the African monkeys? Maybe America should sue the bats. I'm sure there are lots of ambulance chasing lawyers in America who would love to handle it (with gloves, of course).
By the way, I could have found it had I bothered to look:
etc
etc
etc
I know what you're doing....
so....
My sister*** posted on face book the other day that when this is all over she's hugging every one. She's a hugger. I'm not, so I said thanks for the warning. Her son (my SIL) told her he felt that she's not learning anything from this. I laughed and laughed.
***She's not my blood sister. My daughter married her son but we were calling each other sister way before those 2 even got engaged. We've known each other for years and she's the onlly one that can get away with hugging me.
I am an odd one. I cannot stand someone touching me when I am trying to sleep. Not even a pet.
Stubby has taken to laying on my shoulder when I'm laying on my side. then he gives me kitty kisses
that is so cute!!!!
Then they grow up. Haha
Just like kids lol!
PS....if people can't touch each other....how are babies gonna get born?
Ever read "Brave New World"? Is that we will become?
Touching story, know ?
For some reason I am picturing that movie Demolition Man.
Virtual sex.
On the topic of how are babies gonna get born I'm going to tell this off topic story to raise the mood here:
Haha. Never heard that.
That was great.
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!
Awesome story!
Really nice story about the human condition and the need to touch.
I don't mind the elbow bumping but I have to say, that I am happy to live with someone that I can touch (also a kitty I can pet).
Saw this on your front porch Perrie -
Nice kitty.