In Major Setback for Trump, Court Rules He May Send Troops Only to Cities He Can Identify on Map
Trump doesn't know Sheboygan from Vladivostok!
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
By Andy Borowitz
July 22, 2020 Photograph by Anna Moneymaker / EPA-EFE / Shutterstock
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what is widely seen as a major setback for Donald J. Trump, a federal district court has ruled that he may send Department of Homeland Security agents only to cities that he can correctly identify on a map.
According to the ruling, before Trump can deploy forces to any American city, he must first indicate their intended destination on an unmarked map and cannot let anyone else take this test for him.
White House sources said that, after the ruling was announced, a furious Trump repaired to the Oval Office with a map of the United States and a Sharpie.
After hovering his marker over the map for more than an hour, Trump finally brought it down on what he thought was Detroit but was, in actuality, East Hampton, New York.
In East Hampton, a town board member, Carol Foyler, expressed concern about Trump's decision to send D.H.S. agents to the beach community.
"At this time of year, I think it will be next to impossible for them to find a rental," she said.
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Trump probably can't point to Pittsburgh on a map!
I can tell you this: Many people are saying that Trump literally doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground, (to coin a phrase).
That I can tell you!
In what is widely seen as a major setback for Donald J. Trump, a federal district court has ruled that he may send Department of Homeland Security agents only to cities that he can correctly identify on a map.
Well that won't work-- because after all, Trump doesn't know what a map is!
They need to check to see if he has any sharpies before the test or TX may end up being NY and NY may end up being PA.
All of this would really be funny if it wasn't factual.
Well, he can't get advice from Obama. He still thinks there's 57 states.