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Harris Tells Trump She Cannot Send Him Birth Certificate Without Postal Service | The New Yorker

  

Category:  News & Politics

Via:  jbb  •  4 years ago  •  19 comments

By:   Andy Borowitz (The New Yorker)

Harris Tells Trump She Cannot Send Him Birth Certificate Without Postal Service | The New Yorker
To obtain my birth certificate, I have to send a letter to the California Department of Public Health," she said. "That is really tricky without a mailbox.

Here we go again. May the best woman win...


S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



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By Andy Borowitz

August 17, 2020 Borowitz-Kamala.jpg Photograph by Carlos Barria / Reuters

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—An apologetic Kamala Harris told Donald J. Trump on Monday that she will be unable to provide him with a certified copy of her birth certificate in the absence of a fully functioning postal service.

"In order to obtain a copy of my birth certificate, I have to send a letter to the California Department of Public Health," she said. "That is really tricky to do without a mailbox."

If the C.D.P.H. somehow receives her letter, Senator Harris said, "it will then have to mail my birth certificate back to me—again, a difficult task if there is no mail."

Harris informed Trump that, if by some miracle she were to receive her birth certificate in the mail, "I would then have to mail it to you. Again, not easy."

The senator said that she was "deeply sorry" that the United States Postal Service's funding problems would make getting her birth certificate to Trump so challenging.

"I know that the question of my birth has been a cause of great distress to you," she said. "I would do anything to ease your mind about this issue."

She concluded her letter by saying that she was unsure whether her letter would ever arrive.


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JBB
Professor Principal
1  seeder  JBB    4 years ago

Senator Harris is going to hurt Mike Pence. She is a winner!

 
 
 
FLYNAVY1
Professor Guide
1.1  FLYNAVY1  replied to  JBB @1    4 years ago

Mike Pence is meat on the table......  Get him a toe-tag now.

 
 
 
Veronica
Professor Guide
2  Veronica    4 years ago

I like it.  I find it amusing.jrSmiley_4_smiley_image.png

 
 
 
Account Deleted
Freshman Silent
3  Account Deleted    4 years ago

It's a dastardly lie that the Postal drop off boxes have been taken out of service - well - moved yes.

But they are still in service.

They have all been moved to Silver City Iowa .

silver-city-e1471668749511.jpg

Annual pick up time 4:00 PM  February 8 except when the 8th is a Sunday.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
3.1  Bob Nelson  replied to  Account Deleted @3    4 years ago

Interestingly, the Postmaster General (Trump bankroller, transport company stockholder) has now said that his "reforms" will be delayed until after the election.

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
3.1.1  Texan1211  replied to  Bob Nelson @3.1    4 years ago

And is that a problem for you?

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
3.1.2  Bob Nelson  replied to  Texan1211 @3.1.1    4 years ago

I'm surprised. I thought they'd decided to go for it all, devil take the hindmost.

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
3.1.3  Texan1211  replied to  Bob Nelson @3.1.2    4 years ago

So then you have no legitimate complaint.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
3.1.4  Bob Nelson  replied to  Texan1211 @3.1.3    4 years ago

Being vigilant...

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
4  Texan1211    4 years ago

Gee, Ms. Harris, I stuck something in the mailbox today, and my postman picked it up. 

Truly amazing!

And my wife received her medicine in the mail just last week, and I got mine the week before.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
4.1  Bob Nelson  replied to  Texan1211 @4    4 years ago
... my wife received her medicine in the mail just last week, and I got mine the week before.

Yes. It's nice to have a USPS. It would be a shame to kill it.

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
4.1.1  Texan1211  replied to  Bob Nelson @4.1    4 years ago

The USPS is still delivering mail 6 days a week here.

I fear the reports of its demise are greatly overexaggerated.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
4.1.2  Bob Nelson  replied to  Texan1211 @4.1.1    4 years ago

I hope you're right. While there were reports of equipment being removed, and so on.

More importantly, significant changes had been announced. Not timely.

 
 

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