Trump Somehow Not Likable Even After Being Coached by Chris Christie and Rudy Giuliani | The New Yorker
Category: News & Politics
Via: jbb • 4 years ago • 29 commentsBy: Andy Borowitz (The New Yorker)
Trump is having a lot of trouble overcoming his natural unlikeability...
By Andy Borowitz
September 30, 2020 Photograph by Win McNamee / Getty
CLEVELAND, OHIO (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump somehow seemed unlikeable and obnoxious in his first 2020 debate performance, despite extensive pre-debate coaching from Chris Christie and Rudy Giuliani, campaign staffers have confirmed.
After the debate, staffers were baffled that Trump could appear so off-putting and odious after being prepped by two of the nation's most beloved and appealing public figures.
"Call it an aura, if you will, or a kind of magic, but Chris and Rudy have that special sauce that makes people want to hug them," one aide said. "We all thought that, by putting Trump in the same room with them, some of their fairy dust would rub off on him."
"It didn't happen," the aide said. "Chalk it up to the mysteries of politics."
In the wake of Trump's abysmal performance, the campaign is replacing Christie and Giuliani as coaches for the second debate. "It's more important than ever to make Trump likable, and that's why we're bringing in Mitch McConnell and Devin Nunes," the aide said.
Polls find Trump is less likeable than tooth decay!
Are venereal warts more likeable than Trump?
Next time maybe Devin Nunez, Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham can coach Trump on likeability...
Lindsey Graham photographed with leader of white nationalist group Proud Boys
I wonder if Miss G showed him all her ladybugs...
I bet Ms. Lindsey had that bad boy put him over his knees and spank him silly.
He looks awfully happy there...
You have to admit that Rudy and Chris did a hell'a job. Trump was so good that he insulted himself.
Now if Rudy and Chris could teach the Trumps (family) to wear a mask it would be a marked improvement over Trump's debate performance.
Hold on, Chris doesn't know how to wear a mask.
That Rose Garden event about wiped out the gop!
Campaign rally's are not supposed to be conducted in the Rose Garden to begin with. It is in violation of the Hatch Act and Public law: Pub.L. 76–252 Attend one and come down with the CV, then you get what you deserve.
I was about to hit you up on chat and mention that it was the SCOTUS nomination event. Then I realized you were 100% right. That's exactly what it was: a campaign rally.
They are all campaign rallys.
Don't tell me that's Chris Christie's real face...
all 40 pounds of it ...
I think I love Andy Borowitz.
Sorry to break in with off topic stuff, but Trump's motorcade just drove by the people gathered outside of Walter Reed. Holy crap, he's waving at people. I guess he's going back to the WH.
too many "suckers" and "losers" were trying to get to him in walter reed and fit him with a prosthetic skull.
He went back to his hospital suite. It was a stupid photo op. I'm surprised he wasn't holding up a bible. What a jerk.
a bible would have burnt his hand off this time.
Apologies for the pointless derail, jbb. Please delete at will.
Borowitz and the New Yorker. A blatant extreme leftist liberal reporting rag! I don't trust anything coming from them.
You don't trust Borowitz but you trust the satire coming out of the White House?
Please tell me where I have ever said that? In point of fact, I am a right leaning conservative registered Independent who is nowhere near a Trump supporter. I am just far less of a leftist/liberal Biden/Harris supporter.
Neither Joe Biden or Kamala Harris are leftists. Do you have anything else or are you just searching for a reason to vote to re-elect the worst president in American history?
You are entitled to your opinion as I am entitled to mine. Have a good evening Sir.
As a "right leaning conservative registered independent," what are the five most important goals or agendas that would seal your vote?
Cockwomble and shitgibbon fit Trump to a T.
Borowitz is satire. [Deleted]