Trump Wants All Americans To Get COVID-19, "You'll Never Feel Better" - The Lint Screen
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
The Con Man-in-Chief makes his pitch for contracting a coronavirus.
Millions of Americans sent their thoughts and prayers for President Trump when he tweeted last week that he and his va va va voom First Lady had come down with COVID-19.
But you can't keep a good grifter down!
Trump was attended to by a team of medical experts at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. All the king's horses and all the king's men put him back together again with supplemental oxygen, an experimental antibody cocktail, heavy doses of redeliver, the steroid dexamethasone, and monoclonal antibodies made by Regeneron.
After a few days in a hospital bed, and a joy ride in an airtight SUV with vulnerable Secret Service Agents, the big fella flew the coop back to his White House and did a Mussolini on the balcony, ripping off his mask for his adoring science-denying fans!
Now, the prez sez he's "completely cured."
"I've never felt better," Trump said, as a servant delivered a Diet Coke. The president coughed on him, the servant left the Oval Office and collapsed on the floor. "Getting COVID-19 was a blessing from God. I'm like that guy in the Bible who died and came back to life. What was his name? Lawrence, Taurus, something like that. It doesn't matter, you know what I'm talking about. I love the Bible. It's a good book. A very good book."
Trump said he's never had more energy.
"I feel like I could rule the world," he said as a Secret Service Agent fell to his knees and was carried away. The president continued. "I feel like if I didn't like some leader, I could blow their shithole country off the face of the Earth. I have that kind of power."
The president believes all Americans should share his enthusiasm and upbeat attitude.
"I want all Americans to get COVID," he said. "You don't have to fear it, people. Getting COVID-19 is good for you. Just get choppered to Walter Reed, have all the docs do their thing, take the happy drugs, and you'll never feel better. It's incredible. A tremendous feeling."
Across the Oval Office, a cleaning attendant collapses. Chief of Staff Mark Meadows orders servants to throw the body into the bushes.
The president takes a sip of Diet Coke and says, "I've got this pandemic under control. Don't let it dominate your life. It's a gift from God. Trump 2020 Woo Hoo!
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Help Trump by contracting Covid-19 at his next rally!
Providing justification for not wearing a mask.
Well, I guess I should run out and try to find someone with the symptoms and ask him to breathe on me.
There are over 200,000 people that will never feel better.
Adjusted for population growth about the same percentage as we lost to the Hong kong flu. Do you remember the masks, lockdowns and people blaming LBJ or Nixon for the deaths from the Hong Kong flu?
"The 1968 pandemic was caused by an influenza A (H3N2) virus comprised of two genes from an avian influenza A virus, including a new H3 hemagglutinin, but also contained the N2 neuraminidase from the 1957 H2N2 virus. It was first noted in the United States in September 1968. The estimated number of deaths was 1 million worldwide and about 100,000 in the United States."
But this one is all Trumps fault right?