A child has been asked for almost 16, for not turning up to his classmates birthday bash.
Alex Nash was asked to pay up after he failed to show up to the party at a ski slope and snowboard centre in Plymouth, Cornwall.
http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/lifestyles/2015-01-19/25333920-9fd2-11e4-8941-89f0d0651d22_SWNS_NO_SHOW_07.jpg "/> We hazard a guess that Alex won't be attending the unamed birthday boy's next party [SWNS]
Apparently Alexs dad, Derek, had RSVPd to the party invite, saying his son would be able to make it before realising that hed double booked his son.
She saw me and asked if Alex was coming to the party, says Mr Nash. At this time I agreed and said that Alex was looking forward to it.
However, Mr Nash realised he had no way of letting the birthday boys parents know that Alex wouldnt be able to attend after all. By this time we did not have a contact number, email or an address to let [the boys mother] know.
Instead of giving Alexs parents a call or writing a friendly note, the parents of the birthday child passed an invoice on to Alexs teacher who slipped it into his school bag.
My partner looked out for [the friends mother] to apologise for Alex not showing up to the party, but didnt see her, says Mr Nash.
But on January 15 [nine days after Alex returned to Torpoint Nursery and Infant School] she looked in Alexs school bag and found a brown envelope. It was an invoice for 15.95 for a childs party no show fee.
http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/lifestyles/2015-01-19/5c3abf60-9fd2-11e4-80e9-07a30371126d_SWNS_NO_SHOW_01.jpg "/> The dreaded invoice [SWNS]
Mr Nashs first thought was that the invoice was a joke, but quickly discovered that this is no laughing matter. He visited the mother, as the address was on the invoice, and explained why he wouldnt be paying the bill.
I told her she should have spoken to me first and not put the invoice in my sons school bag, says Mr Nash. I would have sympathised with her about the cost of Alex not showing up, but I just cant believe the way she has gone around it.
The birthday boys mum, Julie Lawrence, has even threatened to take the Nashs to a small claims court if the sum isnt paid.
An argument, over Facebook, between Julie and Alex's mum, Tanya Walsh, has been released since, including Julie's explanation of what the invoice was for.
"You are paying for 1 x child's party at the ski slope including snow tubing and tobogganing and lunch, to which you said Alex was attending on the Thursday," wrote Julie.
But Tanya isn't prepared to pay for "something we didn't use" and writes, "I don't know why you are out for our blood and slandering us..."
We hazard a guess that Alex and Julie's son won't be attending each other's parties anymore.
https://ca.shine.yahoo.com/five-year-old-child-fined-for-missing-friend-s-birthday-party-115836131.html
This is unbelievable! She stuck the note in the backpack!! Just when you think you have heard everything!!
Well, I've thought about my answer carefully, because I've been on both sides of this fence, and neither side is pleasant.
It would never occur to me to send a bill for the cost of a party for a child to attend a party, to someone whose child RSVP'd and didn't show up. I have, however, eaten tickets to things, because other people have said their child was coming, and didn't. 16 pounds is a lot of money, and, even though I don't have a clue about the current exchange rate, it seems to me that this it is usually about $2/pound, so the hostess was sending a bill for about $32.
One can't help but wonder if a lot of other kids didn't show up and she was left, waiting at the ski lift, with a fistful of non-refundable tickets, wondering if anyone was going to show up or not. If so, that could explain the hostess' anger. She could have waited there, hoping someone would show, while her child grew more embarrassed and upset. Been there, done that.
One can't also help but wonder if the non-attendee has done this before, and the hostess felt that she would just teach the family a lesson. I can't say I blame her there, but things DO happen, and it's no one's fault. I've been on the receiving end of that, too, at Matthew's various soirees. I just quit inviting them, I didn't care how much Matthew wanted that kid there.
That being said, the HOSTESS has a responsibility to make sure that every invited guest has a paper invitation with her name, address, telephone number, and email, if she has one-- IF she expects viable RSVP's. When Matthew was little, I seemed to be the only one that had a viable email address-- all the other mothers "didn't work" and either didn't have an email, or had one but would not share it. Nice.
I've called everybody a couple of days before to check, after having been disappointed before... If they can't make it, they can't make it-- everyone has scheduling conflicts. But to tell someone you're going to be there and then just not show up, that's ugly. I would like to also note here, it is rude TO show up and expect the hostess to fork over the money to entertain all the invitees brothers and sisters. That's happened to me, too...
Judge rules: 50/50 violation. Both sets of parents are at fault. The non-attendees for not letting anyone know their son could not attend, (they, too, could have sent a note via school), and the hostess for not meeting her obligation as a hostess by providing her RSVP information. I'd split the bill and tell everyone to shut up on FB, and leave it at that.
But, that's me...
applause..applause.... VERY well stated Dear Dowser!!
Thanks! I've never not let people know that my son wasn't coming-- that he was sick, or something had happened...
I know everyone is busy these days, but that's just plain rude-- on the invitee's parent's part, and stupid on the hostess' part. She, (the hostess), shouldn't have been that hard to reach.
Playing the Devil's advocate, but.....Don't you think that's a chance one takes when they throw a party?
Oh yes! I always plan on a 25% attendance rate-- and that's for a wedding, where people feel obligated.
No one feels obligated to a child's birthday party-- so, I'd go with about 20%... But, then again, I've invited 30, bought tickets for 10, and had 7 show up. Something like this, you may have to purchase tickets in advance, in which case, she really had no choice but to purchase tickets for those who said they would be there... I don't really know if she could have just walked up to the ticket counter or not. Then again, I've had child's parties where I invited 30, and 10 RSVP's yes, then I had about 20 show up-- brothers and sisters of the invitees. Go figure.
Again, it would never occur to me to send a bill for the unused tickets...
I have come to take the attitude that if they show, they show...there's not much one can do about it....sigh
Yeah... I try not to do "tickety" things any more...
Gosh, when I hosted Matthew's "King Tut" party, I sent out the invites 2 weeks early, and every three days, I sent the kids something to remind them-- a ticket to Cleopatra's barge, a cartouche necklace with their name spelled in heiroglyphs, a little rubber snake for them to bring to the party for a prize, a puzzle that was a secret treasure map, and a little mummy... I spent a fortune on postage, but he had a pretty good turnout! Everything had my contact information on it. AND, I called two days out, to see who could come...
It was a lot of work, but I wanted it to be a good party for him-- and I felt like everyone would just think it was weird and not come and participate... We had a blast-- And the kids had fun, too!
And the kids had fun, too!
It probably was the best party ever!!
Everyone had fun...
I nearly killed myself, getting it all together... The next year, we did Gattiland, and out of the 10 who RSVP'd yes, I had 20, with brothers and sisters... And parents, who ordered food, and left me with the bill...
The next year, we went to the zoo, and I had 7 show-- but I had to buy the tickets in advance, in order to qualify for the 10 person party limit. After that, I quit doing them. We were in competition with two little girls whose mothers went in together and had a big party, and it was "THE" party to attend. Plus, it was always on the fall break weekend.
Adult parties are easier and a lot better. I keep offering to give Matthew a birthday treat of some sort, but he doesn't want one, besides what we would do, just us.
I guess throwing parties is "Like a box of chocolates"
The next year, we did Gattiland, and out of the 10 who RSVP'd yes, I had 20, with brothers and sisters... And parents, who ordered food, and left me with the bill...
I think you're right-- you never know what you're going to get!
Thanks, Mickey! I thought long and hard about it...
I think you're right-- you never know what you're going to get
The entire article leaves a lot of things unanswered........sigh
A b word that is frustrated...
Never mess with a b-word's kid.
lol...
Dowser, I think you stated it perfectly, both sides of this can be understood. It was certainly tacky to give the parents a bill, but it also seems that the billed parents could have made a bit more of an effort to let the hostess know of the change of plans. Good manners seems to be a casualty of our society now.
I hate to say this, because it sounds nasty to men, but the problem was that the father RSVP'd, not the mother. Mothers keep up with things, and a lot of fathers just sweep stuff under the rug... And yeah, I know there are exceptions to the rule...
Then again, reading the article, I wasn't really sure if the invitee's mother was really the child's mother, or step-mother. Having been a step-mother, I know that my husband OFTEN made decisions for his daughter without telling me. God only knows what sins of omission I made through the years simply by being uninformed...
I hate to say this, but the lack of communication still is a problem today. My husband knows all about what his daughter is up to, but I have no clue until about 30 minutes before we're supposed to meet them for dinner, or something...
sigh....
RW...all very good points.
I'm with you, I think the child is completely innocent. After all, it is up to the adults, to behave like adults.
I hold both sets of parents responsible, to be honest.
It's a shame this has gotten so out of hand...
I wonder how both of the children feel about all of this fussing.