Noah's Ark - 2021

  

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By:  buzz-of-the-orient  •  2 weeks ago  •  3 comments

Noah's Ark - 2021

In the year 2021 , the Lord came unto Noah, 

who was now living in America and said:

"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over

-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."

"Build another ark and save 2 of every living thing

along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:

"You have 6 months to build the ark before I will

start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

.

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah

weeping in his yard-but no ark.

"Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!

Where is the ark?" 

.
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."

"I needed a building permit."

.

"I've been arguing with the boat inspector

about the need for a sprinkler system."

.

"My neighbors claim that I've violated the

neighborhood by-laws by building the ark in my

back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to

go to the local Planning Committee for a decision."

.

"Then the local Council and the electric company demanded

a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power

lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the

passage for the ark's move to the sea. I told them

that the sea would be coming to us, but they would

hear none of it."

.
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban

on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl."

"I tried to convince the environmentalists that I

needed the wood to save the owls-but no go!"

.

"When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They

argued the accommodations were too restrictive and

it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in

a confined space."

.

"Then the Environmental Protection Agency

ruled that I couldn't build the ark until they'd conducted an

environmental impact study on your proposed flood."

.

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the

Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm

supposed to hire for my building crew."

.

"The Immigration Dept. is checking the

visa status of most of the people who want to work."

.

"The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They

insist I have to hire only Union workers with

ark-building experience."

.

"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm

trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."

.
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10

years for me to finish this ark."

.

"Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,

and a rainbow stretched across the sky."

.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 

.
"You mean you're not going to destroy the world?";

"No," said the Lord.

"The Government beat me to it."


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Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
1  author  Buzz of the Orient    2 weeks ago

Emailed to me by an old friend in Palm Springs.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2  Kavika     2 weeks ago

My laugh for the day.

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Expert
3  Hal A. Lujah    2 weeks ago

Excellent.  Sadly, this probably could have been ten times longer.

 
 
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