Biden Promises To Replace Retiring Quarterback Tom Brady With A Woman Of Color | The Babylon Bee
Category: The Lighter Side/ HumorVia: moose-knuckle • last year • 64 comments
By: The Babylon Bee
Yes it is Satire.
Biden Promises To Replace Retiring Quarterback Tom Brady With A Woman Of Color Celebs January 30th, 2022 -
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Legendary quarterback Tom Brady has announced his plan to retire from the NFL to spend more time carving little wooden toys for his grandkids. In response to the earth-shattering news, President Joe Biden has announced his commitment to replace the outgoing football star with a woman of color.
"Listen, folks, it's time," said Biden to the press. "In the hundred-year history of the NFL, not a single quarterback has ever been a woman of color. That's racist! We all know that poor women are just as smart and powerful as white kids. As president, I will nominate a new quarterback to replace Tom Brady that reflects America's diversity."
When told he doesn't have the authority to nominate quarterbacks to the NFL, Biden told his staff he would just sign the executive order and let the courts deal with it later.
"There's no excuse," said Biden. When I used to play Nine Pins with Jehoshaphat Jenkins and the townsfolk, we always used to let the black women play with us. I was a civil rights hero, darn it! It's time for the rest of the world to catch up!"
So far, candidates being considered for the empty position include Michelle Obama, Tyler Perry, and Colin Kaepernick in a woman's wig.
Babylon Bee subscriber Pete Moyer contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
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