Biden Promises To Replace Retiring Quarterback Tom Brady With A Woman Of Color | The Babylon Bee
Category: The Lighter Side/ Humor
Via: moose-knuckle • 2 years ago • 64 commentsBy: The Babylon Bee
Yes it is Satire.
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Biden Promises To Replace Retiring Quarterback Tom Brady With A Woman Of Color Celebs January 30th, 2022 -
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Legendary quarterback Tom Brady has announced his plan to retire from the NFL to spend more time carving little wooden toys for his grandkids. In response to the earth-shattering news, President Joe Biden has announced his commitment to replace the outgoing football star with a woman of color.
"Listen, folks, it's time," said Biden to the press. "In the hundred-year history of the NFL, not a single quarterback has ever been a woman of color. That's racist! We all know that poor women are just as smart and powerful as white kids. As president, I will nominate a new quarterback to replace Tom Brady that reflects America's diversity."
When told he doesn't have the authority to nominate quarterbacks to the NFL, Biden told his staff he would just sign the executive order and let the courts deal with it later.
"There's no excuse," said Biden. When I used to play Nine Pins with Jehoshaphat Jenkins and the townsfolk, we always used to let the black women play with us. I was a civil rights hero, darn it! It's time for the rest of the world to catch up!"
So far, candidates being considered for the empty position include Michelle Obama, Tyler Perry, and Colin Kaepernick in a woman's wig.
Babylon Bee subscriber Pete Moyer contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
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I saw this trending on the twitter, pretty funny stuff.
Satire is supposed to be funny. Only an idiot would find this funny
satire IS funny, but not everyone can get it.
Some are devoid of all sense to include a sense of humor.
I agree--those who can't see any humor in satire are lacking a sense of humor.
Satire doesn't have to be humorous to everyone, there is also the sub genre called "Biting Satire"
Satire causes people to either laugh, or grind their teeth in frustration...
It's interesting to see those that grind their teeth all the time...
Seems like the ones grinding their teeth are the ones lacking a sense of humor.
Shocking news!
LOL!
I'm not grinding my teeth all the time.
It's just not funny.
I agree - this one bites the big one.
Satire, like scotch, is an acquired taste. I like satire, still working on liking scotch.
Try "Grand Old Parr" - goes down like water but slowly warms the innards.
If the joke had a valid comparison then it might have been funny, but it doesn't, so it's not.
If there were dozens and dozens of qualified black women at the same level of achievement as Tom Brady who could realistically fill his shoes, like there are qualified black women for the supreme court, then it would indeed be hilarious.
Instead this conservative Christian rag decides to ridicule black women as being inferior to a white male and that it should be a hilarious joke that one would even consider them for such a position over all the apparently more qualified white male candidates for supreme court.
So it might be really funny for racist sexist deplorable dip shits, but the joke falls flat for any rational intelligent human who supports equality and diversity.
Also, lets be realistic, Republicans would have screamed and yelled about any liberal pick to fill Breyers seat regardless of what color or gender. At least with Biden announcing his intentions he gets the support of his own party and the large number of black women and minorities who were key to him winning the election in 2020. So the choice is pick some white male Christian that Republicans will still claim is unfit for the office and would also anger his own party for not being diverse, or pick a black women which is still an unrepresented minority on the bench. I think the choice was clear, and right wing conservatives love it because it riles up their openly racist base and makes their "silent majority" of white supremacists among them panic like they did when they were told by their dumb shit half witted racist neighbors and friends that Obama was coming to take their guns away and put them in FEMA camps. To conservative Republicans that spells "big turnout" of their panicked riled up voters at the mid-term elections which couldn't make them happier.
I don't think it possible to misunderstand something so thoroughly.
Oh, it's possible. Don't underestimate them. Many get confused by the smell of air.
What about white transvestite lesbians who worships plants? Why must you continue to discriminate against them?
I guess popping their heads out once in a while might be confusing for them.
Then please do explain how this isn't racist and sexist. Job of male quarterback in male only league with white male GOAT and the joke is that the equality loving diversity loving (which are apparently horrible attributes to conservatives) President wants to replace him with a black female. I mean that would be CRAZY! Right? Supposedly as CRAZY as appointing a black woman to the supreme court. Conservatives like Ted Cruz claim black women are only 6% of the population so they can't be representative of America yet conveniently forgets that they are women which are 51% of the population. But still, to conservatives it seems CRAZY to appoint a black women to the supreme court and they haven't even seen the qualifications of the candidates, they just assume they must not be qualified or supposedly as qualified as some white conservative. That is the very definition of fucking racist.
But you don't want too many to do it at once. They'll start wandering aimlessly around sniffing everything, walking out into traffic. It will be like herding cats trying to gather them all up again.
Do you find Biden's statement that his Supreme Court appointee will be a black woman racist and sexist?
You wouldn't know a fucking racist if he slapped your face.
People aren't bitching that Biden will nominate a black woman, and had you spent 5 minutes comprehending the replies here you would have figured it out by now.
People are bitching because Biden excluded everyone who is NOT a black woman.
Now, THAT is fucking racist.
Everyone knows he would have a conniption fit had Trump ever declared he was going to appoint a white person to anything.
How anyone can pretend otherwise is astounding.
Some is really funny. Some is pretty nasty in deed.
(You know what they say about generalizations, eh?)
I have no idea what you hear.
Ruh-roh, time to cue the humor-lacking cries of "That's not satire!!!!!"
And RIGHT on cue.............
I am getting to be a regular Nostradamus when it comes to certain things which are inevitable!
O .. M .. G - you using a moth to a flame photo is hilarious! You know why.
"O .. M .. G - you using a moth to a flame photo is hilarious! You know why."
Sure do-- I predicted what would happen.
And like moths to a flame, the prediction came true almost immediately!
Maybe.
My guess is he doesn't...
Very, very, VERY bad guess.
Especially since I had already posted this:
In hindsight, and armed with facts now, don't you think your little "guess" was totally off-base and silly?
Almost immediately? You know the comments are dated, right? Is 24 hours almost immediate in your world?
Yes, by Jove, I think you got it!
I certainly do!
Not in any world that I know of.
Here, let me help you understand what was said and when, and by whom.
Me--post 2--yesterday---Ruh-roh, time to cue the humor-lacking cries of "That's not satire!!!!!"
Tessylo---post 5--YESTERDAY---Satire is a combination of intelligence, wit and humor. This isn't.
Just Jim---post 2.1---also YESTERDAY---And RIGHT on cue.............
Me--post 2.1.1--ALSO YESTERDAY--I am getting to be a regular Nostradamus when it comes to certain things which are inevitable!
Please do NOTE all posts I quoted were from YESTERDAY.
I sure hope this clears the timeline up for you.
Let me know if you are still unclear.
[ removed ] [ tm ] your candle photo was dated yesterday, and I commented on it today.
It is called C-O-N-T-E-X-T.
Please look up the meaning and apply liberally to what you have read and misunderstood.
Thank you!
[removed] [tm]
Tex prediction, 2:52
My And right on cue, 2:56
The right on cue post, 2:57
Tes moth photo, 2:58
According to history
Thanks, but it won't be understood.
I tried once, but why bother beyond that?
There are people who think anything poking fun of a Democrat cannot be satire because......
[deleted]
Some people have no sense of humor and think Democrats are immune from stuff the rest of us live with?
Ya do know that Woopi is available?
Woopi as QB no, but defensive tackle or goal line fullback maybe and if she got mad it would be worse than Antinio Brown's antics
Satire is a combination of intelligence, wit and humor. This isn't.
Satire requires a sense of humor from the reader AND a knowledge of current events.
Not everyone possesses those things.
But some things things that are labeled "satire' require a certain sort of obsession.. a hatred of people who have different opinions or different traits.
Satire is satire.
If you want to call something that isn't satire by that name, that's on you.
I'll call it what it is no matter what you do.
Satire requires wit and intelligence. Something that the the author of this obviously doesn't have
clearly, not everyone understands satire.
Very true, all the Bee has are sniveling white conservative Christians putting lies into the mouths of liberals and progressives they despise.
Babylon Bee subscriber Peter Moyer said "Hey, this article I wrote and submitted to the Bee can't be racist because I have a black friend and I take the day off work for MLK day so I'm a totally woke non-racist conservative...". - satire
Oh, those poor, poor victims.
How ever shall they recover?
The victim card is as stale as the race card.
True.
Here's an excellent example that helps make your point-- excellent satire that many aren't capable of understanding.
Does "not everyone" understand this one?
I'm sure someone as intelligent as you will understand it-- even if the rest of us mere mortals aren't capable of understanding it!
S atirizing rabbis who pretend to to be victims of anti-Semitism. LOL-- what great satire!
Great satire ! The best!
(Of course if your allegations are true-- most of us won't understand how funny this is-- ROFL! )
Haha-- that rabbi got caught in the act!
(/sarcasm X 10)
And speaking of excellent satire that many of us aren't capable of understanding, I have a few really funny examples of cartoons satirizing Jews-- from both the Arab world and Nazi Germany that would help reinforce your point..that many of us aren't capable of understanding them.
And then there are some hysterically funny satires of Blacks from the Klan, and and from some fundamentalist "Christian" sources....(which many people here wouldn't be capable of understanding).
But I won't post them. Why? because while some folks here would be capable of understanding satire...some aren't. So they might get offended, and report me-- and I might get a ticket!
I don't really care if you understand satire or not.
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
In other news, Whoopi Goldberg leaves the view for a new show!
Go Brandon!
He probably already imagined marching across the Tallahatchie bridge with Billie Joe over this very issue.
Oooopps? I always wondered who it was that jumped off...
LMAO, this is frick'n hilarious!!
So using racial discrimination to select players in a game would be absurd and unjust, but for the Supreme Court it's fine.
That's quite an argument the left makes.
That's quite an argument the left makes.
Why do you think that everyone on the left does that-- but no one on the right would ever do that?
(Perhaps those on the Right are genetically superior-- or just that they're all just more intelligent?)
Why? 'Tis a mystery indeed...
Well, understanding how to use the reply button tips the answer towards more intelligent.