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Hillary Vows To Stop Importing Dossiers From Russia

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Category: Satire

Via: gregtx • 3 years ago • 21 comments

By: The Babylon Bee

Hillary Vows To Stop Importing Dossiers From Russia

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Beloved feminist icon and 2024 presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton has announced she will be joining efforts to halt Russian aggression. Starting this week, she has promised to stop importing dossiers from Russia. 'For a long time, I have relied on Russian intelligence as a prime source for phony dirt on my political opponents ...

S E E D E D C O N T E N T

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Beloved feminist icon and 2024 presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton has announced she will be joining efforts to halt Russian aggression. Starting this week, she has promised to stop importing dossiers from Russia.

"For a long time, I have relied on Russian intelligence as a prime source for phony dirt on my political opponents," said Clinton as she adjusted the scope on her high-powered sniper rifle. "Starting today, I will refuse to import my disinformation or even my hitmen from Russian sources—that is, unless it's absolutely necessary."

Sources in Russia say this will cost the Russian economy over 3,000 jobs, which were previously filled with people working full-time writing phony dossiers for Hillary Clinton. In a statement, President Putin said he was sad to see his close, longtime relationship with Clinton going south. "I thought that big red reset button meant something to you!" he said.

For the time being, the Clintons have committed to buying their disinformation only from domestic sources like The Washington Post.

Bill Clinton also joined the fight, promising to stop importing underage women from Russia.

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Professor Guide

1 seeder GregTx 3 years ago

Freshman Quiet

2 Moose Knuckle 3 years ago

The MSM continues to fact check this satire site. Something is very wrong with them.

Professor Quiet

2.1 Ozzwald replied to Moose Knuckle @2 3 years ago

The MSM continues to fact check this satire site.

Can you blame them, the factual inaccuracies in just the title makes them free game for fact checkers.

Hillary Vows To Stop Importing Dossiers From Russia

The dossier was originally purchased by a Marco Rubio backer, not Hillary.
Nothing was imported, the original was obtained from the Washington Free Beacon conservative news site.
Fusion GPS is a New York based company, not Russian.

But I guess if you ignore all the factual errors and outright lies, it could be considered humorous.

Professor Principal

2.1.2 Sean Treacy replied to Ozzwald @2.1 3 years ago

he dossier was originally purchased by a Marco Rubio backer, not Hillary.

Lol.. The lie that never dies... I predicted last week it would be posted again shortly despite being debunked and sure enough, here it is.

It constantly gets fact checked on this site. Yet serial purveyors of disinformation keep posting it.

Professor Principal

2.1.3 Sean Treacy replied to Texan1211 @2.1.1 3 years ago

And stooping to lying to try and disprove satire.

Sad...

Professor Principal

2.1.4 Just Jim NC TttH replied to Ozzwald @2.1 3 years ago

Satire doesn't require facts. It is spin FFS. Your crack called, your undies are in a bunch again.

Professor Quiet

2.1.5 Ronin2 replied to Ozzwald @2.1 3 years ago

When in doubt keep lying! Stop with the Democrat talking points on that BS.

The dossier was originally purchased by a Marco Rubio backer, not Hillary.

Complete and utter bullshit.

A conservative website funded by a billionaire supporter of Marco Rubio paid for the opposition research that eventually led to the salacious dossier about Donald Trump.

Paul Singer is the money behind the Washington Free Beacon and the publication and it first hired Fusion GPS to dig up information about Trump and other Republicans. The website disclosed the hire to the House Intelligence Committee on Friday, according to the New York Times .

Rubio a day earlier said his campaign was not involved.

"I was running for president. I was trying to win. If I had anything against Donald Trump that was relevant and credible and politically damaging, I would have used it. I didn't have it."

Wolf Blitzer asked, so you campaign never funded any of the initial research?"

"With GPS, that group?" Rubio replied. "Absolutely not."

New York-based Singer was a powerful backer of Rubio's in the presidential campaign and was an early victory for Rubio over Jeb Bush, who rushed out the gate and swallowed up tens of millions of dollars in contributions only to see Rubio and the field blow by him.

Singer was said to be unaware the Washington Free Beacon hired Fusion GPS.

"All of the work that Fusion GPS provided to the Free Beacon was based on public sources, and none of the work product that the Free Beacon received appears in the Steele dossier. The Free Beacon had no knowledge of or connection to the Steele dossier, did not pay for the dossier, and never had contact with, knowledge of, or provided payment for any work performed by Christopher Steele. Nor did we have any knowledge of the relationship between Fusion GPS and the Democratic National Committee, Perkins Coie, and the Clinton campaign."

So no Steele Dossier for Rubio.

Nothing was imported, the original was obtained from the Washington Free Beacon conservative news site.

Again bullshit. The Free Beacon had nothing to do with the Steele Dossier either; and didn't pay Fusion GPS for the Steele research.

In a statement, the Free Beacon emphatically denied targeting the real estate developer exclusively, and distanced itself from Christopher Steele, a shadowy British former spy who was later paid by the Democratic National Committee, the campaign of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and the Federal Bureau of Investigations.
″...During the 2016 election cycle we retained Fusion GPS to provide research on multiple candidates in the Republican presidential primary, just as we retained other firms to assist in our research into Hillary Clinton,” the Free Beacon said in a statement.

“All of the work that Fusion GPS provided to the Free Beacon was based on public sources, and none of the work product that the Free Beacon received appears in the Steele dossier,” it added.

On Saturday, the New York Times reported that New York hedge fund billionaire Paul Singer initially hired Fusion in 2015 “to unearth damaging information about several Republican presidential candidates, including Mr. Trump.”

Singer, who disclosed to Congress that he was the initial client, is a Republican that was part of the “Never Trump” movement. The billionaire subsidized the findings until Trump clinched the nomination. At that point, the Democrats took over, The Times reported.
The arrangement between Fusion GPS, Democrats and the FBI was laid bare this week in an explosive Washington Post report that detailed how the DNC and Clinton’s campaign ultimately paid for the dossier after the Free Beacon withdrew support for the research project.

So no, the Free Beacon didn't have a copy of the Steele Dossier. They didn't pay for it; and their involvement with Fusion GPS ended before the Steele Dossier research was commissioned by the Clinton campaign.

Fusion GPS is a New York based company, not Russian.

Who the hell cares? They hired Steele to get dirt on Trump from Russian sources. That was paid for by Hillary Clinton- in case you didn't catch that above.

Hillary Clinton’s campaign and the Democratic National Committee helped pay for research leading to the infamous Russia dossier, which contains allegations of President Donald Trump’s ties to the country and possible interference by the Kremlin in the campaign, a source confirmed to NBC News.
Marc E. Elias, a lawyer representing the Clinton campaign and the DNC, engaged Washington intelligence company Fusion GPS to conduct the research in April 2016, as was originally reported by The Washington Post .

The firm then hired Christopher Steele, a former British MI6 officer with connections to the FBI, who authored the dossier, the Post said.

Through Elias’ law firm, funding by the Clinton campaign and the DNC to Fusion GPS reportedly continued through October 2016, ending only days before the election was held.

NBC News confirmed the Post report.
“To aid in its representation of the Clinton presidential campaign and the Democratic National Committee, [Elias’ law firm] Perkins Coie retained Fusion GPS, entering into an engagement for research services that began in April 2016 and concluded before the election in early November,” a source familiar with the situation told NBC.

Can it be made any more clearer? Do you need it spelled out more?

But I guess if you ignore all the factual errors and outright lies, it could be considered humorous.

The Babylon Bee was far more accurate than your average milksop partisan Democrat that is still believing the lies their party told them.

Freshman Quiet

2.1.7 Moose Knuckle replied to Ozzwald @2.1 3 years ago

How did you miss that we are talking about a Satire site, had you read my comment you would have known.

Houston, we've lost contact with the shuttle!

Professor Quiet

2.1.8 Ozzwald replied to Texan1211 @2.1.1 3 years ago

rarely have i seen so many become unhinged over satire like this site provides!

See this is what I mean by you not clearly expressing yourself. So, let's start off with your personal definition of "unhinged". Please provide it so other can understand.

Professor Quiet

2.1.9 Ozzwald replied to Ronin2 @2.1.5 3 years ago

When in doubt keep lying! Stop with the Democrat talking points on that BS.

Aren't you supposed to be on a different seed comment thread trying to support Russian aggression?

Professor Principal

2.1.11 Sean Treacy replied to Ronin2 @2.1.5 3 years ago

When in doubt keep lying! Stop with the Democrat talking points on that BS.

It will be reposted next week. It's like a whack a mole. It gets refuted in one thread and gets resurrected by the same crew in another.

Professor Quiet

2.1.12 Ronin2 replied to Ozzwald @2.1.9 3 years ago

Don't like the truth? Tough shit. I gave you the truth as verified by congressional investigations. Not one of your talking points is true.

When in doubt double down on stupid lies.

Show me where I have ever supported Putin?

Now, do I support the fascist loving Ukrainians? Sorry, I don't support fascists. I remember a time when Democrats and leftists didn't either. Seems that has changed as they get closer and closer to becoming one.

Ukraine isn't a true Democracy- no matter what they, the media, and the rampant fanatics backing them say. Democracies don't arrest political opponents; ban political parties; ban media that doesn't agree with them; nor does it condone large fascist and Nazi militias operating freely within it's country. It also doesn't roll the largest of the fascist militias into it's military.

History has a tendency of repeating itself. We supported, armed, and trained the Taliban and Al Qaeda against the Russians in Afghanistan. They shared none of our values or beliefs; in fact they hated us. We paid for that stupidity many times leading up to 9/11- and now both are back in control of Afghanistan. So we can start the cycle of stupid all over again.

Think the fascists in Ukraine love us; or share our beliefs or ideals? We are giving them advanced weaponry; training; and the support of the world. What could go wrong if they somehow manage to beat or hold off the Russians?

I don't think we are going to get lucky enough that the two sides will wipe each other out.

Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. But take solace in your hatred.