Republicans relieved no fetuses killed in Texas school shooting
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Uvalde, TX – A wave of relief washed over the Republican party today as they learned no fetuses were harmed in yesterday’s shootings at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas.
“Thank God,” said Texas Republican spokesperson Denver Fortsworth. “Just bornies this time.”
“Like everyone, when I heard some of the children were only 8, I was horrified that so much innocent life had been cruelly taken in an act of violent savagery” said anti- abortion activist Janet Marn, “But when I found out they were 8 years old, not 8 weeks or months, well that’s a whole different thing. I mean these kids were in, what, the 29th trimester?“
Across the state pro-life Republicans took comfort in the fact that no clumps of non-sentient cells had been destroyed, just the lives of children and their family members who will never recover.
Forstworth reiterated the long-standing policy of the GOP : “once you’ve exited the vessel, you’re on your own. I mean 8 years old? They should have been carrying weapons.”
At press time, Alex Jones was too busy with bankruptcy paperwork to accuse the Uvalde parents of faking the whole thing.
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Canadian Sour:
I part satire
2 parts sadism
Mix well, then swill and spew.
You can't fix stupid
white supremacists dodge a bullet.
Too soon.
The minute we make fun is the minute we fail to address the issue in an attempt to reconcile the pain. All well and good…but just when is enough enough.
Apologies for no longer willing to accept the status quo.
The minute we collectively kneejerk into 'thoughts and prayers' is the beginning of failure.
Well said, Hallux. And we witness that failure with all too frequent commonality.
According to a prominent Texas politician, “we need more guns to stop this sort of thing.”
Oh yeah, that’s the ticket.
Some satire and truth to this; If the fetus that became Salvador Ramos had been aborted this would not have happened.
If every fetus is aborted, global warming will decrease over time.
Leftist ghouls exploiting a tragedy for a few chuckles.
I have a few hilarious suggestions for your next FB live stream...
Ignorance at it's best.
Did you really expect anything different?
Canadian ghouls never die, they just smell that way.
The stock prices of the top 5 US gun- and ammo-makers rose the morning after a Texas school shooting that left at least 21 people dead
Bold talk Tessylo, mighty bold talk.
Well done, that was some good satire