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Sources Allege Trump Stole Plans Revealing White House's Thermal Exhaust Port

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  2 years ago  •  16 comments

Sources Allege Trump Stole Plans Revealing White House's Thermal Exhaust Port
MAR-A-LAGO — Anonymous sources are alleging that among the documents confiscated from Trump's residence were the top secret plans to the White House. These plans are said to reveal the building's only weakness: a thermal exhaust port only 2 meters wide.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



MAR-A-LAGO — Anonymous sources are alleging that among the documents confiscated from Trump's residence were the top secret plans to the White House. These plans are said to reveal the building's only weakness: a thermal exhaust port only 2 meters wide.

"It's impossible to overstate just how close we came to losing our fully armed and operational Washington D.C.," said FBI Director Wray. "A direct hit from an AR-15 on the thermal exhaust port on the southeast corner of the White House roof would set off a chain reaction that would destroy the entire District of Columbia."

Sources also claimed that since Trump's sons had extensive experience bulls-eyeing baby elephants in Africa that are no larger than 2 meters, it was only a matter of time before "insurrectionist scum" made a move to destroy the entire facility.

"Just think — Washington D.C. could have been destroyed!" said Director Wray. "The FBI just saved Washington D.C.!" Reports confirmed that FBI approval plunged another 12 points after Wray's statement.

At publishing time, sources confirmed that Trump also had possession of the One Ring, which is now being safely returned to the nation's capital.


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GregTx
Professor Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    2 years ago

original

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Quiet
4  Sunshine    2 years ago

Did the FBI finally find Jimmy Hoffa?

 
 
 
Gsquared
Professor Principal
5  Gsquared    2 years ago

Anonymous sources revealed that the FBI executed a search warrant for Trump's brain.

The results confirm that no such item exists.

 
 
 
Ozzwald
Professor Quiet
5.1  Ozzwald  replied to  Gsquared @5    2 years ago
Anonymous sources revealed that the FBI executed a search warrant for Trump's brain. The results confirm that no such item exists.

It is not unexpected that right wingers are doing their best to make light of the fact that a former President is being investigated for ESPIONAGE!

 
 
 
squiggy
Junior Silent
5.1.1  squiggy  replied to  Ozzwald @5.1    2 years ago

Anonymous sources and witnesses is exactly the base Garland is trying to cover - in his glorious transparency.

 
 
 
squiggy
Junior Silent
5.1.2  squiggy  replied to  Ozzwald @5.1    2 years ago

Again? Want a beer?

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
5.1.3  seeder  GregTx  replied to  squiggy @5.1.2    2 years ago

Don't know about her but I'll take one.....

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
7  charger 383    2 years ago

            "the building's only weakness: a thermal exhaust port only 2 meters wide."

Luke had to use the force to hit a target that small

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
8  charger 383    2 years ago

The plans were hidden in a Roomba attached to a Shop Vac 

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
8.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  charger 383 @8    2 years ago

800

 
 

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