Texas Buses Illegal Immigrants To Chicago And Oh No They've All Been Shot
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
HOUSTON, TX — Governor Abbott has responded to the ongoing border crisis by bussing illegal immigrants to other parts of the country to see how they like it. The only problem is Abbott made the mistake of bussing some of them to Chicago and everyone has now been shot.
"I've made a huge mistake," said Governor Abbott as the bullet-ridden bus returned to Texas moments before the engine gave out for good. "I just wanted other Governors to take the issue more seriously as they too had to share in the socioeconomic strain the border crisis puts on us. But why oh why did we send a bus to Chicago?! Forgive me!"
According to sources, the bus driver was the sole survivor from the less than 10-minute excursion into the city of Chigaco. "Look I've been to Chigaco before and I know you have to come prepared," said the bus driver, Doug McDaniels, wearing a full set of SWAT body armor. "The craziest thing about it was that this trip was actually just a mild gunfire day. Normally I have to call for a rooftop helicopter evac just to escape the city."
Governor Abbott has been heavily criticized by the media for his reckless decision to send the helpless immigrants to an active warzone where they were immediately gunned down. Mayor Lori Lightfoot on the other hand was celebrated for her commitment to making all of Chicago one giant policeless and lawless safe space with gun violence equity for all races.
At publishing time, another bus returned to Texas from Los Angeles with the news that everyone on the bus had contracted Monkeypox and been stabbed by the homeless before ultimately dying from fentanyl exposure.
Tags
Who is online
41 visitors
I'm tired of people writing these sick, twisted words. It's 'busing'.
Chicago isnt even in the 25 most dangerous US cities.
If you ignore murder statistics.
If you don’t it’s in the top ten.
Everyone always compares on a "per capita" number. That doesn't give one the whole of the problem and actual quantity of occurrences.
And also if you compare apples to orangutans like comparing small towns of 40 or 50,000 people with a big city of millions.
Tell that to the Black people who live there
Oh, it isnt?.. Why, you're right it's 31st. I'm sure that will ease Abbott's mind more than enough to continue offering rides to Chitown.
Exactly, just stay out of Area 1 and 2.
The mayor's office ranked protection as the most important service the city will provide:
”As a city, we are doing everything we can to ensure these immigrants and their families can receive shelter, food, and most importantly — protection”
Is this not the responsibility of every municipality, every state, every nation?
In what world do you live where these basic necessities should be denied, regardless of legal status that has yet to be adjudicated?
Certainly not America.
Responsibility yes, priority no. I live in Fairfax Va, we have a very low crime rate and very expensive housing. Providing housing would be the number one priority here.
According to this article in the NY Times , (want to compare sources?) Chicago is #7 for murders. That is particularly significant given that it's a very large city that - in addition to criminals - is populated with affluent people in tall, secure buildings or living in low-crime suburban areas, and in theory should have a large, effective police force.
It's easy to find random small towns (like those appearing in the list that you offer) that can be said to have "violent crime" - a vague term.
Just more unfunny satire
Ho hum
Big city like Chicago should able to handle a few migrants.
Carl knew Chicago:
Bragging and laughing indeed.