Batman Unable To Keep Up With Rising Crime As Gotham City Elects Another Democrat
GOTHAM CITY — Batman has finally been forced to hang up his cape and abandon his beloved city as the crime rate continues to soar under Democrat leadership. Following the election of another democrat, Mayor Tori Tightfoot, Batman has decided he just can't keep up with the crime anymore.
"Alfred, these Democrat politicians are releasing criminals from prison faster than Gordon and I can lock them up!" confided Bruce Wayne to his butler. "This is ten times worse than the time Scarecrow gassed the entire city with Fear Gas! At least then I could stop it immediately. Now we have to wait for next election season."
"I'd rather fight Ra's Al Ghul, Bane, Joker, Mr. Freeze, Killer Croc, Poison Ivy, and Deathstroke all over again at the same time than try and keep up with the rampant lawlessness created by these Democrat policies," continued Batman. "Somethings gotta give, Alfred. And I can only break so many jaws."
According to sources, Batman has been spotted less and less at night. He claims it's getting too dangerous out there and that last week alone the Batmobile got broken into, torched, and looted while he was fighting the Penguin.
At publishing time it was revealed the Batman had moved to Florida.
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Actually, if one were to read FBI, DOJ and CDC statistics they would find that the big increases in crime rates are all in Southern red states.
This seed is far from qualifying as satire.
You have proof of this of course.
West and east coast leftist shitholes would have to prosecute criminals in order for it to register as a crime.
Leftists hate satire when it too closely reflects reality of the shitholes they run.
By the people who run them... DeSantis, Paxton, Noem...
Noem..........southern red state? I realize it's SOUTH Dakota but......................................
He hasn't met Fetter Man yet - will release criminals in a flood without a flutter.
No arrests. Fetterman's America.
Let Wawa close it up and some bodega can sell them toilet paper for $5 a roll.
From what I've been told, the insurance fairy comes and makes it all better and never prohibitively increases costs on businesses.