12 Genius Ways For Congress To Pay Off The $31 Trillion National Debt
America's national debt just passed $31 trillion for the first time in history. Yikes! Don't worry though, we at The Babylon Bee have a few brilliant money-raising ideas up our sleeves that Congress probably hasn't heard of yet.
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
America's national debt just passed $31 trillion for the first time in history. Yikes! Don't worry though, we at The Babylon Bee have a few brilliant money-raising ideas up our sleeves that Congress probably hasn't heard of yet.
You're welcome, America!
- Burn down the Lincoln Memorial for the insurance money: A foolproof plan.
- Sell the moon to China for $31 trillion: Maybe throw in California for good measure. Nobody will miss it!
- Two words: BAKE SALE! If we sell around 10 trillion brownies, we'll have that debt licked in no time! And we hear Ted Cruz makes a mean brownie.
- Get Russia to invade us and watch the aid money roll in: The surest way to untold riches!
- Ask every American to sell just one kidney: True patriots will sell both!
- Have Nancy Pelosi skip Starbucks and make her own coffee at home for the next 31 trillion days: We assume she'll continue to live at least that long.
- Take out a reverse mortgage on Alaska: Most countries do this sort of thing toward the end of their lives.
- Make the FBI raise extra cash by delivering pizza on their way to raid Trump supporters: Those armored assault trucks are great at keeping pizza really hot.
- Have Biden ask Hunter to ask his Chinese employers to forgive the debt: Pretty please?
- Have Janet Yellen marry Tom Brady and then divorce him to take half his money: Come on Tom, take one for the team!
- Print 31 trillion more dollars: Wait — isn't this what we're already doing?
- Stop spending more money than we have: No wait, that would be crazy. Never mind.
If you know someone in Congress, be sure to share these genius tips with them! We've GOT this, folks!
Unfortunately my MA Senators are idiots or I'd send them this bulletin.
Add another tax/fee to phone bills and/or vehicle registrations
Ahhh, just you wait, there's more taxes a-coming....