Texas Votes To Airlift Austin To California
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
AUSTIN, TX — In a landslide victory during a special statewide referendum this week, Texans overwhelmingly voted to have a giant airship pick up Austin via tow cables and drop the city off in California.
As the city is mostly inhabited by Californians who left their state due to the cost of living, high taxes, and crime - and then proceeded to vote for the same policies in Texas - the move is just "setting things right" by sending immigrants from the Golden State "back where they belong," according to the bill's sponsors.
The act took effect immediately, and a massive, lumbering dirigible slowly crawled over the city, its ominous shadow eclipsing the coffee shops, microbreweries, and vegan hemp handbag stores below. Liberals screamed and attempted to flee, but it was too late. Harpoon cannons blasted massive steel cables into the Pennybacker Bridge, the Independent skyscraper, and various other anchor points throughout the city. The airship then rose into the sky, lifting the city along with millions of Austin progressives thousands of feet into the air.
"Oh no!" cried recent Texas transplants Timpani and Steve Strudelfudd as the ground shook and they nearly fell off their electric scooters in downtown Austin. "This is, like, totally, like, one of those earthquake things from back home! Hold onto your lattes!"
The city was safely transported back to California and dropped off in a nice rural area north of Santa Clarita. Texas is once again safely red, and many Austin residents reportedly don't even realize they've been transported to California.
As for any progressive transplants still living in Texas, Governor Abbott has vowed to continue secret midnight flights of these liberals back to their home countries of California, Washington, and Oregon.
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It would be tax dollars well spent imo....
And the combined IQ of Texas would drop by 20 points.
Which would still leave them 20 points higher than California.
Remind us again which state has rolling blackouts; the governor demanding people not charge their cars (while demanding everyone buy one), phones, and electronic devices; and a never ending rampant water shortage?
Remind me why you don't have a sense of humor or your inability to stay on track. Must be in the Michigan water.
BTW, Texas qualifies on 2 or the 3 points you tried to make. But knowing that would require thinking.
Unfortunately Texas has too many west coast elitist morons. They tried converting to green energy; and now they are in the same boat as California. They can't supply the amount of energy needed; and their electrical grid can't handle the ever increasing amount of people. Math isn't a strong suit for the woke.
As for the water shortages in Texas- again thank the woke elitist morons coming from the west coast; and the never ending surge of illegal immigrants courtesy of Brandon and the Democrats. Leftists love green; but never seem to realize too many people in an area that can't support them doesn't work.
As for my sense of humor- mostly German- I have one but you will never get it. As for the rest of my overly diverse lineage it spends too much time bickering over whether I should be perpetually offended to have a say in anything.
My ability to stay on track is better than yours it seems. California lost 20 points when those elitist morons left. They were the smarter ones that got out. Returning them to California still puts that state at a deficit. Woke doesn't equal smart.
unfounded opinion.
More ignorant comments
I will take your word on that.
Your "ability" to constantly insult on a partisan basis is hardly laudable.
Texas is it's own worst enemy.
We all remember not having electricity in February 2021, some of us for two weeks, others longer. For those who had power when the wholesale price of $9,000 per KwH was allowed to stand by our "courageous" Governor, today my neighbors are still struggling to pay their old electricity providers, many of whom were bankrupted while facing a 300% increase from the electricity providers who survived.
We still have summer brownouts and blackouts. The grids aren't fixed and they still double down on refusing to connect to the rest of the nation.
Meanwhile, in spite of Texas leading in wind power electric production, the wind farms in West Texas are turned off at night because they produce too much electricity and they are not connected to the grid that would carry power to Dallas Fort Worth - Houston and Austin. The State has been studying the cost of connection for years.
Might improve both places
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I haven't been to Austin in 20 or more years. In the 90's, I went to Ft Hood frequently and whenever possible I would try to stay over a day or two in Austin on my own dime. The city then was a perfect size, big enough and with the university and state government to support diversified entertainment but not so big that traffic and housing were a problem. On 6th Street you had great live music, from punk to country with reggae and blues in between. And of course nothing beats Texas brisket. I also really liked the Hill country between Austin and San Antonio, my favorite part of Texas.